Thursday, January 5, 2017

THE FLIPPIES 2016

2016 WAS A BUMPER YEAR FOR WRESTLING!
On one side of the coin, We had spectacular comebacks, shocking debuts, and a Dream Match that only occurred when the improbable happened 12 months ago!...

Sadly, as WWE flourished, TNA Floundered, As wwe tilled new soil in China and U.A.E, Dixie bet the farm and lost! The sport gained new stars, Heaven gained a Shooting Star (RIP. KRIS TRAVIS), The Women's Belt became the match to watch, and role reversed with the Ic belt to become the Toilet Break!

Yes 2016 will fade away, but it should NOT classify itself as OBSOLETE!

MAUD'S FUNERAL (SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR)
CODY RHODES REACTION TO THE UNVEILING OF HIS FATHER'S STATUE!

Just look at this photo. You'd have to have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for the man!
Image result for cody rhodes sees statue of dusty rhodes

(Honourable Mentions: the death of Kris Travis, Vader announcement of being terminally ill.)

And now an announcement-the match of the year has now being split into two new awards, named after marge's and homer's best episodes!

THE MARGE ON THE LAM AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE MATCH!
 BECKY LYNCH VS CHARLOTTE VS SASHA BANKS AT WRESTLEMANIA 32
RULES CHANGED, EYES OPENED!

Despite being on for 7 hrs this year, 2016's edition of the "Granddaddy of them all" was blase. however, The Triple Threat was a butterfly Effect for the rest of year, that Hurricane spawned from one small thing- the Commentators told not to call the female Superstars "Diva's" anymore! years after being unceremoniously carted out like cattle during a Kid rock concert, the Women were given time to have huge entrances that would rival those of Undertaker and Cena! This match set a precedent, one to which the other matches this year inspired to, but also because we no longer have to see the Butterfly belt ever again!
(Honourable Mentions: Alexa vs Becky, Asuka vs Mickie James)

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSILE LAUNCH (EXIT OF THE YEAR)
THE DUDLEYZ: DO YOU KNOW WHO AI AMMMMM!!!???? ME AN' MAH BRODDAH DEEVON SHOULD BE HALLAH FAMAHS!
By telling Dixie to shove it! the Dudleyz came back for one final, but sadly brief, hurrah! You couls tell that all the teams who faced the legends held Bubba and Devon in the highest regard!
(Honourable Mentions; Lillian Garcia, Billy Corgan)

MY PLANET NEEDS ME! (GOOD RIDDANCE)
TNA: DELETED: OBSOLETE!
At time of typing, Tna has lost it's  British tv deal. 2017 has being an Absolute Massacre to TNA, It's dwindling talent pool, it's top stars jumping ship, A 7 MILLION DOLLAR DEBT, And unpaid contracts, I just got word that tapings will resume in the new year, with a new money mark benefactor, but all of these shows will continue the trend of mass recording that is currently driving tna to it's death!
((dis)Honourable Mentions: Adam Rose, Jerry Lawler, Eva Marie (for now!) Adriane Andrew)

MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION (FUNNIEST MOMENT)
KEVIN OWENS MOCKING ENZO AT SUMMERSLAM!
I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvIBb0-eR58

(HONOURABLE MENTION: THE LIST OF JERICHO-IT GOT OVER, MAAAAAN!)

WORST. EPISODE. EVER! (STUPIDEST THING OF THE YEAR!)
THE FINAL DELETION: HOW MUCH COKE, IS TOO MUCH COKE?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT AND THAT'S NO COMPLIMENT!

Shot in Hardy's Mansion Grounds in Cameron and Shot like a B-movie, the 1st of many coke-fueled romps in the North Carolina Backlands led to many "What-The-Fuck?" Moments, Jeff  meeting Matt's Drone, a hologram, a chase on Lawnmowers, a dangerous and irresponsible bump from a tree, fireworks and a finish involving an elderly garndener, Willow and Jeff buried Alive! The real Question is: how much of TNA'S meager Budget went into this?
((DIS) Honourable Mentions: Shane McMahon diving off the Cell for no good reason! the 6 day wait for British fans to see Slammerversary and Bound For Glory, Melendez vs Beauregard, Rebel vs Shelley Martinez, R-Turd's Pokemon Go Obsession, Breezango working a match Sunburnt! Miz being a No-Talent, Cheating Bastard Who Hides in his Hot Wife's Skirt! Mike Bennett BOOKED AS a No-talent, Cheating Bastard who hides in his hot wife's Skirt!)

THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE
REBEL (REQUIEM FOR A MEME!)
Goodbye to Rebel, The Cheerleader Drinking buddy to now former Tna Ring Announcer and Creative Member (Snigger!~) Christie Hemme, Hot Pants Enthusiast, and owner of a Loss-Win Ratio so Pathetic, it's lucky she has Looks to fall back on, Not to mention a Spear so Stiff you can catch Rigor Mortis from it! I'm Putting her here because of her 1 ever Recorded single win on PPV, one that Spawned my own Meme "Rebel Won A Match?" Now What do I  do with all these images?

Hey Patrick, Rebel Won A Match!
Image result for patrick star shocked

Hey Britney, Rebel Won a Match!
Image result for britney shocked
Hey Principal Brown, Rebel Won a Match!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14rzeK7wRHU
(DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS: REBY SKY, DANA BROOK, NIA JAX, MARIA)

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR WORST MALE
JOSH MATTHEWS: PEOPLE PERSON!
My award for terrible Wrestling, politicking, or for just good old fashioned bile against wrestling fans in general, goes to Tna's head commentator, and self-appointed bull baiter, Josh Matthews. Somewhat knowing what we all know that Tna One Night Only PPVs Dont Matter, Matthews along with His Collegue The Pope or Jeremy Borash, would rather about comic books, their dinner, or argue with Pope about who sucks more, rather than, i don't know, CALLING THE MATCH!

The Unprofessional-ism doesn't stop there, a staffer on the tna twitter, believed to be Matthews would reply angrily to anyone bought up the lawsuits, debt, or underpaid talent, even lashing out at fans who tweet questions like " why do 90% of your wrestlers have beards and long hair?"

So Congratulations, Josh Matthews, we'd sooner follow a fake porn account that will hack our personal details, than follow you!

(DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS: Cena: (Of Course!) Bore-ton(NATURALLY!) GOBSHITE FROM MTV! (WHEN IS HE NOT IN THIS LIST?), Donald Trump, Hulk Hogan, Kevin Dunn)

THE DISCO STU FOR BEST DEBUT AND THE HOMER FOR BEST MALE GOES TO...

AJ STYLES-PHENOMENAL IMPROBABILITY
If you want  a year to be noteworthy, then start at the begining, when the klaxon at the rumble rang for a third time, we were forced to look at Blowman Lames face as the crowd whipped itself into a fury! on Twitter, Aj Broke it in Ireland for 7 hours! Aj Styles wrestled like he always belonged (well, he gave up doing this backhand combo, because he broke Miz's Tooth, But when has GOBSHITE FROM MTV! Hit his mark properly?) now the man who was man who was made to lead tna against wwe, is now it's champion! and it wouldn't have happened without....

MOM THE VIGILANTE  AWARD (BEST MALE MATCH)
CENA VS STYLES 2 AT SUMMERSLAM
A 13 YEAR DREAM MATCH CAME THROUGH!
So the Original match was marred in controversy, WHO CARES! What anyone will and should remember is the rematch in Brooklyn, with no club at ringside, the worked up crowd was split down the middle! after all these years, despite being in the same company these 2 men were still opposing each other! the match was one of the best I've seen, I grew a little respect for Cena, but it was all about Styles, the Man who Exiled Cena, who sits on the top of the company he once tried to extinguish! 

No comments:

Post a Comment