Monday, April 4, 2022

WRESTLEMANIA 38: THE LONE STAR STATE OF YER MAN!!

 After Anthem and Promo of Mark Wahlburg reading off Idiot cards, we wasted more time with Cheer-skanks.

So first match for the Smackdown tag team championship, ended in heart breaking fashion for the challengers, Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs, as the latter tore his Patella lifting both Of the Usos. I think judgement call was made and this match was told to go home.

I knew they where paying attention too much to how the end of days finish has never being kicked out from, and sure enough, Drew McIntyre I kicked out of the finisher and bet the Undefeated (BUT NOT REALLY!) Happy Corbin. After the Match, Moss tried to attack Drew, who then, and I kid you not sliced the ropes with his sword so hard it made a Thunderbolt sound!

So Logan Paul is now Undefeated at Mania....

"FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!
FUCK ALL OF YOU FOREVER, YOU FUCKS!"

After the candidate for Worst MOTY, we had the first real candidate for MOTY,  Bianca BELAIR Vs Becky Lynch. It's started with lots of Ground work, lots of Counterholds, but it's when the ladies could do what they they could do separately is when thus shone, going for their finishes Early, Becky trash talking, Becky using heel tactics, Bianca's power and Athleticism. And that was the deciding factor.

Cody Rhodes returned with his own music, to face Seth Rollins. It was the Cody Rhodes Revue, all the Moves you remember him doing in various points of his career. Rhodes wins.

And the last official match, because the New Day Vs Lame-Arse and Ridge Holland will be tomorrow. For the Smackdown women's championship, Ronda Rousey took on The champion Charlotte Flair, only because you can't put the title on the line on a zoom call! This was a clash of styles...but it didn't seem to click, the vision was there, there was just disconnect with the execution. Maybe because it was the last official match, maybe it's because they should have put one women's belt on different shows, but after a match that was hot and cold for me, Flair retains after a ref Bump! 

And the reason I called it the last official match, us that the Kevin Owens Show with guest Stone Cold Steve Austin devolved into a No Dq fight. It was Austin beating up Owens in front of his home state crowd and that was about it.

And so ends part one. Underneath these Asterisks the time will past by one day later!

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 Night 2 this will be Quick!

RK-NO MEANS NO BRO! retain against the Street Profits and The Alpha Academy. After match i kid you not, The Street Profits turn face after Turning heel 6 days priors so they can join Gable Steveson in a toast, To which Gable (Chad not Steveson) got in the face of Gable (Steveson, not Chad) after he threw a drink on him. Steveson attacked Gable to end the bit.

The next match was less of a match and more of a spectacle, as Bobby Lashley gave Omos is first defeat in Quick and Grandstanding fashion!

Sami Zayn lost to Johnny Nailballs....With help from all his inbred carnies!

"FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU! FUCK ALL OF  YOU FOREVER, YOU FUCKS!"

Naomi and Banks are the NEW Smackdown women's champions....Should have being Liv and Rhea!

In a match with no real threat, rhyme or reason, it was a shock that this was the Best match of the night! Aj Styles and Edge faced each other for the 1st time in a good back and forward. The end came when Damian Priest distracted Styles long enough for Edge to Spear Styles out of Mid air. Damian Priest in a faction lead by Edge. I'll buy that for a dollar!

There was a reason why Lame-Arse and WEDGIE lasted a minute, which i will get to in a minute! New day lost!

Next the Boyhood Dream has come through for Pat McAfee. From SOME NFL GUY! to Superstar! in a great performance against Austin Theory as Vince Mcmahon watched at ringside. McAfee won, But like Icarus He flew to close to the sun and challenged McMahon! And this is why the last match was this short. Looks like Vince had his match after all! with help from Austin, (Theory, Not the other guy...YET!) Vince bet McAffe. as Theroy's music played Vince reacted like someone was coming not know what it sound like (VINCE MCMAHON NOT WATCHING HIS OWN PRODUCT, CONFIRMED!) Until Out to save the day was Austin, (STONE COLD, not the other Guy!) Stunner to Theory, Stunner to Vince (who took it worse than his Best Friend, the Faketan Fascist) Beerbash with McAfee and stunner to McAFee who sold it by pouring beer down his prone face!

and finally, the BIGGEST WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT IN HISTORY!....UNTIL THE NEW ONE! Roman reigns and Brock Lesner put on a fight that will be remembered forever. THIS WAS A WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT, BECAUSE IT FELT LIKE ONE! Superb back and forth, great action, Brock can work like a face and not lose his Edge. But the Winner gets all the Praise, Roman reigns Won and unifies the Belts all night, Cole had mentioned the likes of Sammartino, Morales, Backlund and Hogan, All men have one thing in common, All of them had long reigns that would change the course of wrestling History, Hyperbole? perhaps it is, but Unifying the brands under one sole champion is Game changing!

Thank you for your time!

I will be back here with my Summer Schedule for 2022! tomorrow!

follow me on Twitter @RealEnli!


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