Was there a more An unpredictable, and tumultuous year than 2022 in wrestling?
A long awaited Return that took 30 years, was diminished when Drew McIntyre was Lex Luger'd in his Home Country. Meanwhile the return that noone wanted at first, became the Catalyst to the Bravest, Yet Unsettling Matches of the year. Backstage, the "Shocker" that Vince was a naughty boy, shocked everyone in so-called Legitimate Media....and it had nothing to do with his Best Friend being a Nazi!
It was the year Roman tightened his Grip on the belts, The Year Ze Valter-Guntha, excelled beyond his stupid new name. And the year Sami Zayn dragged himself from under the pit Vince put in him in by jobbing to Johnny Nailballs!
Over on the other companies, NWA became a Carny Clown Show when Nick Aldis saw what was coming and took his Ball and Ran. Despite Some talent remaining, it does not change that Billy Corgan is pushing Gimps, Man-Children, a backstage interviewer who can barely speak English and put the Belt on That Fat Fuck From Fox News, The Quanon Smash, Tyrus!
Over on AEW, whenever ITV could be Arsed to Show it on time, Kenny Olivier and Chris Jericho were like a Divorcing Couple fighting over who gets to parent the Young Talent and who gets to Poison the Well, to stay relevant in the eyes of others. But if we look at MJF, We can see the Future, and it Works!
MLW got a TV Deal, Of Sorts In Britain, (IT'S COMPLICATED!), CUNT-HOLE YOUR NARRATIVE Spiralled out of Control and Impact Wrestling became A Floating Corpse in the Ocean: Every Now and then it Resurfaces, only to Sink again!
And While we Wait who getting to the keys to the Wwe Castle, The Saudis or the Nazi Rat!, Let's Dole out some Awards,
THE DISCO STU FOR DEBUT OF 2022
SEND HOOK!
Okay, TECHNICALLY SPEAKING! Hook was on Dark and Rampage, But be Honest, DOES ANYONE WATCH THOSE? So far he's the Champion of a Fake belt, But with that Pedigree, can you imagine what he would be like if he was Booked for Real?
THE MAUD'S FUNERAL FOR MOST HEARTBREAKING EXIT OR IN MEMORIAM AWARD!
NXTUK-Lets Hope NXT EUROPE DOES BETTER!
This one Hits hard since I am on this side of the Pond, Especially when it was closed down around the Time of Clash at the Castle, 90% of the roster was giving it's marching orders, while Some were Deservingly Salvaged, (Ilya Dragonov, Tyler Bate, the Jury Is still Out on Repackaging A-Kid as Arse-ium, I mean Axiom!) But some dismissal were just Wrong (You Fire Noam Dar, Trent Seven And Sam Gradwell, But you Keep The Sci-Fi Stripper Sophie Turner?) For those still with WWE, I hope Hunter and by extension the new Owners, know what they are doing!
THE "MY PLANET NEEDS ME!" AWARD FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BECOME AS WELCOME AS COVID LAST YEAR!
JOHNNY ACE-GOOD LUCK AND FUCK YA ON YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS!
I Never Thought I would see the day, that Serial Shagger John Laurinitaus would see his End after getting his End away for so many years! But a sacrifice had to made in response to the Allegations made by The Paralegal that him and Vince were sharing like popcorn at the cinema! And This had being one of those firings that have stuck, muck like Joey Ryan, Laurinitaus tried to sign up as a guest for a Wrestling convention meet and Greet and was told that he was not Welcome. Even The NWA, that has An Accused Rapist as it's World's Champion Doesn't want Johnny Ace!
THE "DR MARVIN WAS SICK" AWARD FOR A RETURN GREATER THAN LAZARUS AND STARDUST DRAGON COMBINED GOES TO...
CHARLOTTE FLAIR
WHEN THE QUEEN'S AWAY THE MICE....PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH TABLES AND STILL KICK OUT!
Never Have I thought that I would miss Charlotte Flair and her downright Dictatorship over the Women Title, (long time Followers will know I refer to the Smackdown Women's Division as the Charlotte Division!) But in her Absence, who did we have on the Blue Brand? A Half-Arse Rhonda Rousey, Liv Morgan Who can't even look over the bottom rope, but can somehow this 5 foot 1 Girl, if she is an Inch, can kick out of Being thrown into tables, Xia Li is unused, and Everyone else is Still Green. Also where is Nattie?
This Summer had being the most uninteresting Period for the Friday night show , while Raw had being killing it. So maybe, Just this once, I won't complain too much about Charlotte bring The World Charlotte Champion of the Charlotte Division!
WORST. EPISODE. EVER! FOR WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR 2022.
SAMI ZAYN VS JOHNNY NAILBALLS!
VINCE'S HATE-BONER PITCHES A TENT!
If anyone had a Rough few years in the Years Under the Deranged Booking of Vince McMahon, it was Sami Zayn. So this match with Fucking Johnny Knoxville, was solely made to bury What was left of Sami Zayn career, by turning the match into a Stage Stunt Show with Bowling Balls, Male Strippers and midgets as a Failed Actor put this Wrestler in a Mousetrap, As Piped on Cheers meshed with Visuals of people booing the Insult to their Sport they paid for!
But a funny thing happened, in the weeks before the Feud, Johnny Nailballs Doxxed Sami Zayn's Phone number, and I bet most, if not all were calls of Support, and now what started as him becoming a Chickenshit lapdog of Roman Reigns, has now became the Sympathetic Heel, that the crowd wants him to turn on Roman! Quite the Turnaround, let me tell you!
Honourable mention: AEW Brawlout!
THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE
MARINA SHAFIR: PROMO OF THE YEAR!
Promo of the Year was not, Dax Harwood's Emotional "Fight like a Girl" Promo, in which he revealed his daughter had a heart Defect, it was not Twinkle Toes' masterclass Manipulation that was the "Kitty cat" promo of his return, it will shock you to learn that, promo of the year was not from MJF! No, It was from a Women in a Straw Hat, Trying Too Hard to be Hard in her home town, this was the Gift that kept Giving!
Sadly, there is No video of just the Promo itself on the 'tube, so I will describe what was went On.
Marina Shafir, Who was in her Hometown of Albany New York was Cutting a Promo, Firstly thanking the People of Albany, for Welcoming her family who Immigrated from Moldova in the 90s..or I think she was Thanking them because, in the entire Promo, Marina never once lowered her voice or Softened her tone, for the parts were she should have been Sincere! She then "Thanked" Albany for shaping her, and here is when people should Know Shafir's Nickname is "The Problem" That Albany is "PART OF THE PROBLEM"...as Marina's Cohorts, dumbfounded, try to salvage the Promo by chastising the crowd for pissing her off....except that wasn't the case!
what happened next was Meme Gold!
She addressed the Crowd as people who Know her, that's when she turned to the camera and pointed and announced "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" Repeatedly ending with her Beating up the turnbuckle as the Announcers cackled and Her Manager Vickie Guerrerro stifling a snicker on camera. It did nothing for her as she remains on the youtube show for Aew!
Do you know what it reminded me of?
THIS!
THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR WORST MALE-FOR THE FIRST TIME, A SIX WAY TIE!
GENE MEDINA, MINI ABISSMO NEGRA, AREZ, TAURUS, DR.DAX AND GANGREL COLLECTIVELY KNOWN AS STRANGE SANGRIE
Right now you are looking at 4, Maybe 5, of those names and thinking one thing
"WHO?"
Maybe it's time to remind you that I only review televised ppvs for Televised Companies, and while the Distribution of MLW's Content is...Complicated, they do indeed have a television deal. And MLW has a tremendous roster and Upside. Alex Hammerstone has Matured into a Workhorse Champion and His work with former Partner Rich Holiday word have ended with Hammer dropping the Belt to him, if it wasn't for Richard Holiday contracting Hodgkin's Lymphoma , EJ Nduka is wwe's Loss and MLW's Gain. Jacob Fatu continues to astonish with his pedigree and Ungodly Speed and Aerial Moves for a 300 pounder, and Alex Kane, Myron Reed and David Richards Feud for the National Openweight Title and the Stolen Opera Cup was in Contention of Match of the year.
HOWEVER.....MLW FUSION IS ONLY AN HOUR LONG SHOW! and you would be lucky to have more than 2 matches...IF MICROMAN IS NOT BOOKED!
Yes, For you see, for all the Good I Mentioned it's Ironically overshadowed by a 2 foot-luchadore called Microman, who from his ring walk to his work, drags an entire Match for 30 minutes. and worst still is not only seeing 6 men-Not only Job to a Midget, but Bump for a Midget. The only good that comes is that 4 of the 6 are wearing Masks and/or facepaint, so noone recognises them after the matches!
THE MARGE AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE
BIANCA BELAIR-WHIP IT GOOD!
And people say WWE doesn't make new Stars!
on the flipside of Smackdown having a Champion who didn't want to there in Ronda Rousey to a Champion that didn't Deserve it like Liv, On Raw, The Roster thrived if not in the main event, but on the 3rd hour of the flagship show. Bianca not only showed she have matches when lead by Becky Lynch, Bayley or Asuka, But get something out of a now Listless Alexa Bliss. Bianca is currently champion, But with such a Stacked Roster, It's Surprising her Reign has being this long!
THE HOMER AWARD FOR BEST MALE AND THE 138TH EPISODE AWARD FOR BEST MATCH GOES TO CODY RHODES AND HIS BRUTAL BUT AWE-INSPIRING HELL IN A CELL MATCH AT THE EMPONYMOUS EVENT AGAINST SETH ROLLINS.
It all Started with A Surprise Return at Wrestlemania, one that was rumoured and dismissed by many. that Cody Rhodes one of the EVP of the Rival All Elite Wrestling, would return to wwe, but there he was Standing In his Father's Home State of Texas, Not the WWE Cody Rhodes who didn't pay Dues and covered himself in Babyoil, But the Cody Rhodes of Aew, The American Nightmare. What followed was a Feud that lead to an injury that was waved off, until the reports of the morning of The Hell in a Cell premium Live Event, that during a work-out Session, Cody's Right Pectoral Ripped Further, while he was lifting weights. Despite being told not to arrive, he did and to make sure that no-one thought it was a Work...
I Remember this moment watching it live last year, and when he took off the jacket, the thunderous crowd just fell into Stunned Silence, What Followed was a Match as Gutsy as it was Wince-Inducing, As against all Odds, despite Being Told Not Too, despite Putting more strain that will increase his rehab time, Cody went the Distance.
And That's it for 2022!
Hopefully next week, MLW Blood and Thunder will be up for review purposes, but if not that, then Raw 30th anniversary will be next instead!
Until then
PEACE!
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