Showing posts with label year 13. Show all posts
Showing posts with label year 13. Show all posts

Monday, October 11, 2021

Theme month: Tarotober Part 1 The Fool and The Magician (WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS!)

 The Tarot has existed 100s of years. It's Mysterious imagery and broad meaning have Captivated and Scared people in equal measure for that long. We all have a story about how someone met their beloved via the cards or came into riches via an impossible stroke of luck. My Grandad once told a story that a friend of his drowned after a tarot reading was ignored!

One Franchise that Holds the tarot in its core storytelling is the RPG series, Persona and the social links that it introduced in Persona 3. But that is not the only series we will delving into.

To Celebrate 30 years of Street fighter. 22 card artworks were printed Depicting the warriors in gorgeous Artwork. But which characters depict the  cards meaning properly?


We have a few concessions.

1. The Cards are from the traditional Rider-Whaite Format. So no cards from the Thoth format. So no detailed rundown of Aegis Or Adachi.

2. Base games only! So any character who had their tarot changed will be reviewed as original card only. No Fes, no dancing games, No Marvel or Strikers.

3. If the fates of characters are made known in sequels, they will treated as canon!

Our 3 rounds are as follows

1. Backstory and Inspiration

2. Perks and benefits.

3. Lasting influence to the hero and story.

Card 0 The Fool



The First card is the fool Designated as 0. It's ruled by the Element of Air, and the Planet Uranus. It Depicts A medieval Fool, with a Bindle, on his shoulder standing over a cliff with a dog behind him.

The Fool is leaving on an adventure to find himself in the world. The Dog is a symbol of Safety, that the Fool is leaving behind.

The Fool Represents Potential and innocence. When used to represent a single person, it's usually a child or teenager. 

Our first 4-way sees 2 heroes, a Villain, and a wolf's in sheep's clothing.


Uploading: 98398 of 98398 bytes uploaded.





Minato, The Door to Tantulus, Yu, the Silver Haired Hero with the Big Brother Complex, Igor, the Master of the Velvet Room and "G" the self proclaimed "President of Earth"

Round 1 Inspiration

The somewhat Apathetic and cold Hero of P3, is an orphan who arrives late at a dorm of the high school he transferred to. It's when the clock strikes midnight, he finds the world under the thrall of a secret conspiracy!

The Dark Hour, an extra hour of the day, which freezes time, turns the high school into a citadel, and turns all human life into coffins.

They are the lucky ones!

For those caught out moving, they are attacked by creatures called shadows, and even if they avoid death, they Contract an illness called apathy Syndrome, that removes the ability to function. Rescued by his housemates. And finds a gun, he is told by a voice inside him to shoot himself....and Summon An Essence of his spirit to fight the Shadows, A Persona.

Despite being cold and unfriendly, (There is literally an option to answer either, Whatever, or I don't care in every Dialogue tree!) Minato is A capable Fighter and Quick on his Feet. It's almost like he Knows how to fight the Shadows from Minute one. And here's why...



Minato is a Door between worlds.

On reaching the top of Tantulus there is a carved Statue of a Minato Blocking the way. Minato was freed when the seal was tampered with by Nyx. Resulting in a cold avatar who acted like that because he was unsure of Humanity was worth protecting. By living a human life, by experiencing friendship, hardship, Knowledge, Stupidity, Love and Hate. He realized that Humanity needed to saved and Protected. In the end, Minato gave up his life to reseal the Door, and As he died in  his Friends arms, he Smiled at the life he lived, a smile that was added to the door.

The Transition of the Fool to his death. Is the Narrative of the Tarot starting with the fool and ending with his Soul (The World) after experiencing all influences good and Bad. Minato gets 1 point for Inspiration.

Yu Nurakami 

Like Minato, Yu also left his town to enroll in high school. But unlike the hero before him, Yu moved from the city to the small farming town of Inaba  to stay with his Detective Uncle Dojima and his daughter, Nanako. Things looked like that Yu was going to have an uneventful year at school.

That is if it wasn't for a killer who dragged his victims into a world in the television and crucified there bodies on telephone wires in the cover of fog.

Yu would Discover the Connection Between the Murders, the TV World, and the Truth Behind the Urban Legend of the Midnight Channel. But when he found he could travel into the TV World himself. He needed his own Persona to do so.

Yu is a handsome young man, who is Charismatic, Witty, & Stylish. A great cook, an artist, with a great sense of humour.....And THE WORST EXAMPLE OF THE FOOL'S CONTEXT!

Don't get me wrong, Yu is a great Character, But These Qualities are not earned or Learned like the others, they are out of the Box. Ok he can Learn other things in his social links but he knows so much already. Yu would be a Shoe in for a Magician Arcana, But as a Fool, he's too Powerful! Yu gets no Points for Inspiration.

Igor

One of 2 recurring characters. Igor and the Velvet Room, a pocket dimension between the waking reality and The Cognitive world. Only available to those who has signed a contract, Igor has guided the hero in his understanding of personas since Persona 1. But it's Persona 5, where he becomes a social link in the progression of the story.

It's in the rank 10 event, where you fuse the twins back into Lavenza, where you learn the truth. The Igor you were in contact with is a fake. He is in fact the false God Yaldaboth , who Igor made a wager with, what would humanity do with the power to change hearts? Would they change society or use it to continue the stagnation of human life?  Yaldaboth TRICKED Joker, by stealing the desires of there targets, they unknowingly stole there free will! Turning down the false gods deal for power in exchange for Humanity free will with unlock the the battle.

Acting more like a flawed program than a god, Yaldaboth is the fool on face value. And not a good deep example of it's meaning!

"G"



One day, after the main events of Street Fighter V, the Tech Savvy Rashid was watching YouTube, when he came across the Live feed of a Strange Gentleman. Dressed as Abe Lincoln with a long Blonde Beard, and golden Tattoos, the man Preached of World Peace and Unity...with him as the unchallenged President of Earth! Rashid Challenges G in New York for Clout, with the idea of throwing the match for G to have more views. However unlike Failed Child Actor Vs Failed Rapper's "Completely Unscripted Double knockout" G didn't get the memo and wiped the floor with the Arab Street Fighter.

G is the president of Earth....and that's it! Being Defeated by the Illuminati leader, Gill, and interrogated afterwards, G Continues to spill his Rhetoric, Saying he will Unite Humanity, Not explaining How or Why. The Vagueness and his rumoured Identity as the Robotic Killer, Q, adds to the mystery and the potential of good or evil. Rose faced G and using her Clairvoyance, found no soul. Oro concludes that in the wake of Bison's death, that G is nothing more than The Concept of Tyranny given a new Form.

G's mysterious circumstances makes him a perfect fool.

Round 1 points

Minato-1

Yu-0

Igor-0

G-1

Round 2 Perks for the hero

Since Minato and Yu, are the heroes they hey no points. Igor has an invested interest in his charge's "rehabilitation" and as such, gifts Joker many powers. The power to fuse Personas into stronger monsters, to perceive hidden things with his minds eye. These skills are vital in the gameplay.

G does not help the heroes not does he join the villains, he is canvassing for presidency of the earth, and that is it.

Round 2 points

Minato-1

Yu-0

Igor-1

G-1

Round 3 influence on their world.

Minato is a being protecting humanity, but had to be reminded why. 

Yu Nurakami, while not a god, returns to Tokyo, after solving the killings, and killing his own false God. Saving his Cousin's life and making sure that the evil in the TV World never returns!

Since Ryu is the hero of Street Fighter, and the World Card's Representative, his interactions will be what is used for each character. which is hard when the context of the game is a tournament, meaning that they may or may not meet. And Ryu.... doesn't know what to make of the eccentric, saying just that if he beats him in-game. G if he defeats Ryu continues to be as obtuse, as he his to everyone.

Final points

Minato-2

Yu-1

Igor-2

G-1

The winners are Minato and Igor.

The Magician



The 2nd card of the Major Arcana, Is Designated as 1. A more Mature Fool is now dressed in a subdued fools uniform. Over a table lies Various Charms or props. Over his head the symbol for infinity. Like the way the fool went from freedom to employment, this card means Transference from one state to another, experience, Charisma, Adulthood, Initiative but reversed means naivety. It's Governed by the planet Mercury, God of Travelers, Thieves and Medicine, all those like our Magician here are treated with Fascination and Mistrust in equal measure!

Representing the Magician, we have P3's Kenji Tomochika, THAT ONE GUY, Yosuke Hamamura, P4's "Prince of Disappointment", Persona 5's Morgana, The Suave Hero of our times, and Dhalsim, The Yogi of Street fighter!

Round 1-Inspiration!

Kenji



Kenji is that one friend. You know that guy who Just turns up and is not really your friend and you can't get rid of? Kenji is that Guy, When you get Chinese for the first time in the Strip Mall, He becomes your friend as you are trying to eat, and it only gets worse as he goes to your school. As the story progresses, you learn he is convinced he's in a relationship with a female teacher, giving him extra classes after school. It's only when he learns of her Engagement and her transferring away to stop the embarrassing behaviour by Kenji is when he is talked out of proposing to her. When he realizes how stupid he has been, he gives you the Homemade Choker he made for her. This Item like many in the social links will be prove that you can fuse the most Powerful Persona of each Arcana.

Kenji is Plain, Annoying and Uninteresting....and that's the point! He is the Inversion of the Magician card. He's Naive, He cannot be that smart, if he's taking Grinds, he has no real friends bar yourself and his only window to the outside world is a sitcom, that may or may not be the root to his behaviour.

Yosuke



As the son of the Regional Manager of the Supermarket Chain Junes, Yosuke was Moved from the city to the small farming town. It looked like Yosuke was going to die of boredom in the Boonies, unless Something big were to happen.

So when a Newscaster was Murdered, and the girl he had a crush on who witnessed it was then killed, Yosuke along with Yu, discovered the Tv world.




Not knowing that the humans who enter the TV World, have their true feelings broadcast, Yosuke heard Saki's voice admitting that she was leading him on for a bigger payday, that as the daughter of a grocer, she thought it would be a great revenge on the Supermarket that ruined her family. This is when he Was Confronted by his own Inner Thoughts, A shadow of himself! As the shadow accused Yosuke of only wanting to solve the crime for his own ego. It turned into a Monster when it was denied. However it was quicky dispatched by Yu and when Yosuke resolved these Feelings, his shadow became his own Persona, Jirayah.



As the son of the manager of the Big Faceless Supermarket chain, Yosuke and his family are the brunt of hatred of the local shopkeepers. He is also getting death threats via text.

You are roped into working as a shelf stacker, after some female staff fail to turn up. The same students in earshot of Yosuke talk about how Saki had eloped but returned to raise money, and decided to string along the lovesick son of the man that "ruined" her family for more money than she deserved. This causes Yosuke to fire the 2 girls for speaking Ill of the dead, though he does realise that Saki hated him. Yosuke settles his feelings of rage and jealousy of Yu in a fist fight that comes to a draw, earning you the Buddy's Bandage, proof to that you can fuse the Magician's most powerful persona. He vows to live in Inaba, after gaining an appreciation for it, to live everyday, for the days Saki couldn't.

As the Confident and lovesick Teenager, Yosuke is a fun-loving boy who at first let's everyone walk all-over him. He feels trapped being stuck in a Boonie town, Despite the Money, this frustration is shown when you first meet him, when his bicycle's brakes fail and he drives headfirst into a bin. This want of freedom is why he convinces the others to invest in Scooters.

As the second in command of the Investigation Team, it was him who almost Killed Nadatame. Which was out of character for the cool and calm Yosuke. And if you let him, Nanako will die, ending the game!

Also In a strange note, the Arrival of the Supermarket, mirrors that of the Rise of Lidl on the late 90s. Which is treated with Wonder and Distrust, like our Tarot Magician

Morgana



When Joker and Ryuji are taken prisoner in the Castle of Lust, a 3rd prisoner helps them escape. Not a Man, but Claiming not to be a cat, The Creature called Morgana claims to be a cursed human, robbed of his Body and his memories. He does however, have knowledge and expertise of this Cognitive World. When the others return to reality, Morgana follows them, though he has indeed taken the form of a real cat, though he can still talk and be understood by those who have been to the Cognitive World. 

Morgana takes a Mentor role for Joker, under the guise of a pet cat. Teaching the Phantom Thieves, the way of Stealth, Combat, and the crafting of Infiltration Tools like lockpicks, even the knowledge that Shibuya is also a hidden palace called Memontos, used for the side Quests and grinding. Somewhat Sauve, Morgana tries to flatter Ann to get noticed.  He has a rivalry with Ryuji, who he sees as pig-headed. Morgana cannot control his animal urges when treasure is about. Until he has a prophetic dream, of him been created in the Sea of Souls, meaning he is a Shadow.

This sends him into a downward spiral. He leaves the Phantom Thieves to start anew with the then inexperienced Haru. When they Reconcile the Cat) Shadow makes piece with his identity. In the final battle to save Humanity from Yaldaboth, Morgana Learns that he was a Contingency plan set by Igor, before he was replaced by Yaldaboth. After the final battle, the Barriers between world seemingly send Morgana home to the Cognitive World. Only for him to reveal that he gets to stay in this world. Though he may not be the handsome man to sweep Ann off her feet he is glad to stay with this friends.

With his knowledge of the Cognitive World, but none of himself, Morgana is truly both sides of the cards inspiration. Having a courage and ego despite his small frame and Formless Origins, Morgana became the Wingman, Touchstone and Confidant, that more often than not, Steered Joker in the Right Direction.

Dhalsim




In the many crimes Caused by M.Bison's Shadaloo Syndicate, it was the building of a damn, that caused a peaceful man to go to war!

Seeing the Suffering of his village, Dhalsim, A devotee of the Fire God Agni, Meditated on the matter and came to a course of action.

So he wrote a strongly worded letter to his Government Official!

OF COURSE NOT!

He shaved his head bald, covered himself in Blood Red Paint, wore a Necklace made of the SKULLS OF DEAD BABIES! and ordered the temple's Elephants to knock the Damn down!

However, no matter how many times Dhalsim stopped Shadaloo's schemes, they would return, it was only when he teamed with the likes of Charlie Nash, Guile and Chun Li to deal with Shadaloo as a whole they could do what he cannot alone. Though not successful in facing Bison Himself, Dhalsim returned to India, thinking he was a failure, however in the months he was gone, his wife Sally had given birth to his son, Dhatta. Thinking of the future, Dhalsim"s focus became Different. From Avenger to Defender. To angry young man, to Father. From Devotee, to the mantle of Master, Gaining the Local Beat cop Mahesh as his Devotee.

Representing the Transference aspect of the Magician, Dhalsim is one the few characters who has aged. But also of the Tricks on face value. In Street fighter 4, He has claimed his yoga fire are illusions, it only hits those who hold some negatively In their hearts. Despite that Dhalsim takes his devotion to pacifism and detachment of material gain seriously, even leaving tournaments if dangerous foes or long travel cannot be avoided. Dhalsim has truly lived his life on the path given to him.

Kenji-1

Yosuke-1

Morgana-1

Dhalsim-1

Perks

You only gain the Homemade choker from Kenji. That's it. As one of the NPC confidants in P3 the depth of storytelling should make up for no item or stat gain....but Kenji is not that guy!

Yosuke gains abilities that are standard with other playable characters, so his unique abilities are giving food and grocery items to the hero, opening up the option for Calvary attacks when they get scooters.

Morgana is the same but he like the confidants in his base game, is more personable. While sharing moves with the other Phantom Thieves, Morgana teaches Joker how to make Infiltration Tools. To pickpocket his foes. Handy tools for a thief!

Dhalsim is sought out by Ryu for his Spiritual Advice to Control the Dark Hadou. He has beaten Ryu many times as Ryu and Evil Ryu so he has seen him at his best and worst. But more often than not, he has Kept Ryu on the straight path.

Kenji-1

Yosuke-2

Morgana-2

Dhalsim-2


Influence on the hero and his world.

Kenji seemingly has you as his friend, and the others in your class can't even remember his name!

Yosuke is the second in command of your team, and takes it seriously, though of course compared to Naito who is a professional Detective, is out of his league, so his theories don't hold water. It was taken out, but lost voice recordings show Yosuke could have being romanced by Yu.

Morgana is the Mascot of the game, funny given that Persona 5 is an 18 rated game containing themes of Child Brides and the Apocalypse! Morgana is your wingman, nothing Joker does passes without his approval, from training to missions, to making sure Joker goes to sleep.

Dhalsim is a kind hearted Altruistic Devotee and later Master, who takes his vows seriously, to the determent of his win loss record. However, he has used his powers to do good. He convinced Rose not to commit Suicide, he gave Cammy free will, and has controlled Ryu's soul from becoming evil many times, before Ryu could learn the power himself. The fact a new generation of Fighters seek him out to train in his story in 5, shows how much Dhalsim means to his world.

Kenji-1

Yosuke-3

Morgana-3

Dhalsim-3

The winners are Yosuke, Morgana and Dhalsim

Join me next week when it's Ladies night. As we cover the Priestess and Empress Cards.





Tuesday, April 13, 2021

A Tentative Summer Schedule for 2021

 Greetings from Ireland. Eamonn Here with a heads up of the Reviews I will be doing over the summer. But let's not Kid ourselves! In the return to Normalcy, reviews will be cancelled Since i was called by  Social Services to arrange my Covid Jab...Which is up in the air, but it means I will have to drop everything if my appointment has a date!

be that as it may....I Can Announce what will be Reviewed No Matter What!

ENLIGHTENEDTOWERS SUMMER SCHEDULE 2021

  • NEXT WEEK! Taste Test 2k21: Tayto Sandwich Flavours 
  • THIS SUMMER: THE WWE DRAFT!
  • June: Money In the Bank
  • August: Summerslam
(SUBJECT TO CHANGE!)

BOGGERBOXOFFICE SCHEDULE

2 TICKETS TO HELL-MACHINATIONS OF THE MARA

Ticket To Hell, My Double Feature Event Returns...But this won't be the Triumphant Return Everyone wanted, No This will Leave People Reeling, On the Review Side of the Event I Review the Modern Rom-Com Double Pack. And the Films Within

  • April to May 2 TICKETS TO HELL
    • Joe-Jack and Satanic Ostrich Reviews I Love you, Man!
    • Eamonn reviews Dinner For schmucks!
  • JUNE: MEN IN BLACK INTERNATIONAL
  • AUGUST: DORA THE EXPLORER, THE MOVIE! (YES REALLY!)
IT'S JULY ! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

In what could be the Last time I do this for Bastille Day, July will Continue With New Episodes of Code Lyoko Return to the Past Now!

And that is the Schedule as it Stands, Please Refer to my Twitter account (@RealEnli) if any changes are made!

Thank you for all your Support!

PEACE!

X-

EAMONN AKA ENLI

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

WRESTLEMANIA 37 PREDICTIONS

 It's being a while, hasn't it, since i did a predictions post, what with Smackdown being live on Friday Nights. But Smackdown is Pre-Recorded this week, and all matches were confirmed last night, so lets get to the Second ever 2 night Wrestlemania

NIGHT ONE 

(ALL MATCHES ARE LISTED IN TITLE IMPORTANCE!)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

BOBBY LASHLEY (c) w/MVP  VS DREW MCINTYRE

Whether it's deliberate, or Happenstance, but i think the year for Drew will be Bookended perfectly by the end of night one, Last year winning the title on night 2, and this year losing the title shot on Night one. 

I think MVP has us all fooled, i think" Breaking up" the Hurt Business was all but a long con, to keep the belt on Lashley.

MONEY ON: LASHLEY

SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S TITLE

SASHA BANKS(C) VS BIANCA BEL-AIR

It took an unnecessary team-up, to make this rivalry and it doesn't work! Both woman work the Same gimmick and it's uninteresting.

MONEY ON: ONLY TWO WOMEN'S BELTS SHOULD CHANGE HANDS THIS WEEKEND AT IT'S NOT THIS ONE!

WWE RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

THE NEW DAY (KOFI KINGSTON/XAVIER WOODS) (C) VS AJ STYLES AND OMOS

The NEW DAY? Community? (OK THAT'S MY ONE PER POST!)

MONEY ON: OMOS IS AN X-FACTOR, I ASKED AROUND IF OMOS GOT PREVIOUS MATCHES IN THE INDIES AND GOT NOTHING! TOO CLOSE TO CALL, BUT EXPECT A CARRY JOB BY STYLES!

TAG TEAM TURMOIL MATCH FOR THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP FOR THE TAG TITLE MATCH AT NIGHT 2

ACTUAL TEAM VS JOB TEAM 1 VS JOB TEAM 2 VS JOB TEAM 3

I am pissed that once again, the women's division is directly or indirectly putting over a man! The only thing they can do right, is booked Right Team, or should i say, Book the RIOTT Team. This will also be the first Mania Tag Turmoil match at Mania in 17 years!

MONEY ON: NAOMI AND LANA (WHITE COTTON PANTIES, PAL!)

Speaking of matches that haven't being done in years

STEEL CAGE MATCH

COL. MCSWEATYBOLLIX VS PROUD-BOY BRAUN!

It's Being 35 years since the last mania cage match, Yes, it was wrestlemania 2 when the standard cage was put out! They may say it was to make Braun Brutal, But i think it's because in a cage they cant do the stupis train sounds spot they made Braun a joke on Socials.

MONEY ON: SHANE WITH HELP FROM ELIAS AND TRIPLE R: RYKER THE RACIST ROADIE!

SPEAKING OF BEING A JOKE....

GOBSHITE FROM MTV AND JOHNNY LASTBRICK VS BAD BUNNY AND DAMIAN PRIEST.

Do i even have to say it?

NEXT!

SETH ROLLINS VS CESARO

Now, this will be the Highlight and the Sleeper hit of the Night. I will be looking forward to this more than anything! 

MONEY ON: CESARO!

NIGHT 2 PREDICTIONS

TRIPLE THREAT FOR THE WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP

EDGE VS ROMAN REIGNS (C) W/PAUL HEYMEN AND JEY USO VS DANIEL BRYAN

Way to cheapen the 10 year struggle to get better and Royal Rumble win, Guys!

And i like Bryan, But this? It kind of left a bad taste in my mouth! Still, it's pretty obvious who is winning!

MONEY ON: EDGE!

WWE RAW WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH

ASUKA (c) VS RHEA RIPLEY

Get your Popcorn ready, because the only women's match not infestated by a Wine-Expert Clown will be explosive! After the Baffling Conclusion of last years Title Match! Rhea is back on her Redemption Arc!

MONEY ON: RHEA

PR DISASTER ON A POLE MATCH! (NIGERIAN DRUM MATCH FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

BIG E (C) VS APOLLO CREWS

....JUST DON'T LET HULK HOGAN GET ANYWHERE NEAR THIS MATCH!

I don't even know what kind of match this is.... I'm guessing No Dq if the Drum is a weapon! maybe it is on a pole!

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!

MATT "#NOMEANSNOBRO!" RIDDLE (C) VS LAME-ARSE!

I think Sheamus will Win, Riddle is a bit Scummy, ok a LOT Scummy and it's affecting me on calling his matches fairly.

POSSIBLE CINEMATIC MATCH!

RANDY ORTON VS SOUTHERN FRIED FIEND W/ ALEXA BLISS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGHbNPn10Tw

WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH 

SHAYNA BAYSZER AND NIA ANTIVAX VS WINNERS OF TAG TURMOIL

MONEY ON: SCENARIO 1-AGAINST RIOTT SQUAD-NEW CHAMPIONS

SCENARIO 2-AGAINST ANYONE ELSE?-SQUASH!

KEVIN OWENS VS SAMI ZAYN W/ FAILED CHILD ACTOR!

At this rate, Vince should personally rip up Sami's contract and give him the bus Fare to Jacksonville! Money on: FUCK LOGAN PAUL! IF SAMI DECKS THAT BASTARD HE WILL BECOME THE ULTIMATE FACE! 

Results will be up Monday For both Nights. Have a great week with Takeover and the hall of fame and Prelude, and if you are not burnt out on wrestling Join me on Twitter @RealEnli

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

TASTE TEST 2K21-ICE CREAM REVIEW-13TH BIRTHDAY SPECIAL

 A New Year and New Limited Edition Icecream have Sprung from Nowhere. Usually You have to wait til St Patrick's Day for them to appear, But on Sunday the 12th, the day this blog was created 13 years ago, The new Heartbeat International (aka HB, WALLS, Mika, Frisko, Streets, etc!) released these. Its's a small review, as it's almost a set routine now: 1 Magnum, 1 Cornetto, and 1 Kids Range Item

We Will be Starting With the Latter Going from Cheapest to Dearest (though it's now shopkeeper's Discretion on how much they can charge for an item!)



TWISTER PEEKABLUE

Package Colour: Sky Blue With Swirls Imitating the ice-lolly on both sides, A photo of the Photo of Triple Helix Shaped Pop is shown (With the Yellow Photoshopped not to look like Piss-Yellow) Next to A slice of Mango, a Slice of Green Apple, Half a Strawberry and Blueberry! The Package also Lauded the new shape (Twister is a Double Helix and how the Treat is made from Real Juice and is Responibly made for children!)

....which MEANS THIS ITEM WITH ALL NATURAL SUGARS FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES IS PROBABLY WORSE THAN ANY ONE CAN OF MINERAL!

Calorie Count: at least it's a Respectable 278

An Ice-lolly of 3 intertwined Colours and Flavours-Pink Strawberry, Blueberry, Urine Yellow Mango and apple somewhere in-between!

Taste: Get the Wet-wipes Ready, Mams, Cos this is a Shirt-Destroyer. Mere Seconds after taking a bite, and the whole thing Gives up the Ghost. Flavourwise, It reminds me of a Smoothie made from scratch. Delicious, but be wary when buying this for Young kids as it will melt off the stick!

 


CORNETTO SOFT CHOCOLATEY

Package Colour: Brown with Plastic Top

Calorie Count: a square 900!

An extra Soft Version of Classico, sans Nuts. So it tastes Nice! SO WHAT? you can get this in any Petrol Station or Bread and Milk Shop with an icecream Machine and ask for Syrup yourself already. PROBABLY CHEAPER TOO!

MAGNUM DOUBLE GOLD CARAMEL BILLIONAIRE


Package: (Couldn't find image of single Purchase ) Sepia with Stripes of gold,Brown and Orange. 2 Caramel chocolate Buttons sit under the label.

Calorie Count: 964

Biscuit and Pecan and Vanilla Ripple icecream, a layer of Caramel sauce, Covered in a Caramel glazed white Chocolate shell with Biscuit Pieces.

5 hours after digesting the last one. It's the €2:90 main event, Heartbeat's signature treat.

Taste: So Clearly Heartbaeat has not learned there lesson from last year's Ruby chocolate Magnum and again, opted for a ripple flavoured like the exterior! It's Just Lazy-LAZIER SINCE THEY DONE IT TWICE IN A ROW NOW! If i hadn'r being doing these for years now, i would say on it's own merit, this is pretty good. But it's making me pine for when they would release multiple limited editions over a summer, like the seven sins Magnums or the Cornetto Love Potions!

Well here's hoping that sated your appetite for a while. I won't be back til Wrestlemania in April, but if you want to see me play Movies and Booze, Tweet about Wrestling or shouting at daytime tv and gameshows, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @REALENLI!

SEE YOU SOON!