Night of champions results

26/7/09
Philadelphia, P.A.
SOLD OUT!

Legacy vs Chris Jericho and MYSTERY PARTNER
Jericho steals the mic of Lilian Garcia who gives him a look like "fuck this! I'm glad I'm leaving to work on my second album!" Jericho cuts a promo on edge, who got injured. he could be out for a whole year. but the mystery partner is big show who has a new look a Taz-like singlet and a Taz beard. he starts up with Cody Rhodes,who i sweare is one of the strangler monsters from Parasite Eve 2. this match has a stipulation this is a no holds USED match. as jericho flies to the outside rhodes does all his moves. are you ready?
punch
punch
kick
kick
punch
punch
kick
kick
THROW A FUCKING SUPLEX, RHODES!!!!
MY GOD!
well after that technical display (!) people are chanting for Jericho he tags show and thankfully the Colossal Clutch flushes this crap!
winners: jeri-show
**/5
if Legacy are the future of wwe then our future is fucked!

backstage cm punk cuts an interview making fun of the fans stating that Jeff Hardy fans are future druggies. he names all kind of thing that will lead to by supporting hardy. when punk mentions marijuana
there is a MARI-JUANA! (CLAP-CLAP-CLAPPY-CLAP!) chant that was funny!

ecw championship
TOMMY THE HUT(YES I LIKE STAR WARS SO WHAT!) VS Christian
big pop for dreamer but a bigger pop for christian. i wasn't expecting that!
two bitch slaps start this match. Christian tries Corner Pendulum kick but gets countered into neck-breacker ecw chants in the home of ecw E-C-DUB E-C-DUB E-C-DUB! FIGHTS ON OUTSIDE. Striker says that tommy had a barbeque with 200 of his fans are you sure that fat load wasn't eating all that food until fans showed up? crowd claps along to christian. tommy counters Killswitch into DDT Back into Killswitch ENGAGE!
winner and new ECW Champion...Christian
both the new and former champions bro-hug as the crowd cheers loudy! Great match! ****/5
Backstage big show says him and Jericho are not friends. Is'nt that what split up Jericho and Edge in the first place?

United state championship six pack challenge
Swagger vs Carlito vs Miz vs PRIMO? vs Mvp vs Kingston(c)
Primo is replacing Big show in this match i heard a good put down in the intro of this match

"They gave him the keys to the city. the next day they changed the locks!
this match is so quick i cant type the action fast enough. Miz works Kofi in the corner one thing that bugs me. why does that gobshite does a turn-table gesture? yes i know he was on a Mtv program BUT SINCE WHEN HAVE MTV SHOWN MUSIC?
any way the always exciting Tower of power-plex is pulled off. Kofi retains by pinning carlito.
winner:Kofi Kingston ****/5
Backstage:Orton bitches about big show very slowly

Womens championSHIT match
MicHHHelle McNotCool vs Melina
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh yeah er...
Winner:mccool 0/5

wwe CHAMPIONSHIP
John FUCKING Cena vs HHH vs Randy orton(c)
Reason 86 why i hate cena: he calls himself the champ when he is'nt thats likw J.K Rowling calling her first book Harry potter:DONT WORRY THERE'S GOING TO BE A SHIT LOAD OF SEQUELS! IT GIVES THE PEOPLE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!
any way formal intros Cena booed hhh cheered orton booed. Orton leaves the ring to make cena and hhh fight each other.
it doesn't work.
anyway this match we've seen this match all year so i'll just skip to the end
HHH puts orton in a Sharpshooter while at the same time cena locks on the STFU (That's SUBMISSION THATS FUCKING USELESS)
Orton taps
Winner er.... wait legacy come down to help their chief man-bitch and Orton pins Cena
winner....Orton
5/5 stars because Cena didnt win.

Maryse Ouellet vs Mickie James
Toy womens belt
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i was asleep sorry winner James
Intercontinental Championship
Dolph ziggler vs Rey mysterio
Ziggler comes out with Maria Kannelis. is that Bimbo a heel now whatever she sits on a chair at ringside. i hope that chair isn't used as a weapon(!) Jim ross said that Dolph hold his colleges record for most pins 87 thats very impressive. this match is very quick and very exciting!
Ziggler has thrown rey to the side where Maria is sitting. now we know how this goes, the manager attacks the opponent. Ok Maria, hit him. HIT HIM!
or stand there looking pretty. Or as pretty as a MOUTHBREATHING BIMBO COVERED IN SLAP COULD LOOK I MEAN A WRESTLING CLICHE AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN DO IT!
of course in recent months all we hear about maria is that she has her new clothing range which she is wearing.
CLOTHES BY MARIA.
TAN AND HAIR BY TANGO!
and she has a feather in her WTF ISTHAT? is she a greek american indian whats her Indian name? Dancing With Strippers?
okay back with wrestling Dolph hits a cool gutbuster from the second rope but rey counters into 619.
winner rey
worlds championship
C.m. punk vs Jeff hardy
Only in wrestling you could hear BOOS for an anti-drug campaigner and cheers for a man whos house burned around him!
okay i'm out of time
Winner:hardy