python final countdown

4 The pearl harbour recreation society
Premise: a group of house wifes beat each other with there handbags

3. the Lumberjack song

im a lumberjack
and thats ok!
i sleep all night and i work all day!

a chorus line repeats line in the 2nd person

i cut down trees
i eat my lunch
i go to the lavotry
on wednesday i go shopping
and have buttered scones for tea.

chorus repeats line in 2nd person

hes a lumberjack and hes ok
he sleeps all night and he works all day

i cut down trees
i skip and jump
i like to press wild flowers
i put on womens clothing
and hang around in bars!

chorus line repeats line in 2nd person but looks at each other worryingly when they sing "he puts on womens clothing and hang around in bars?"

hes a lumberjack and hes ok
he sleeps all night and he works all day

i cut down trees
i wear high heels
suspenders and a bra!
i wish i was born a girlie!
just like my dear mama!

chorus line sing have way through before they leave giving abuse to the lumberjack

2 Nudge nudge wink wink
Premise: a streetwise jack-the-lad type annoys a posh man about his wife
so are you married
yes i am
does your wife...er....go does she go?
yes she does travel she's from torquay
torquay eh say no more say no more down south eh nudge nudge wink wink! say no more! well now does she have any hobbies?
what on earth do you mean?
is she into.....photography? holiday pictures?
posh man(angrily) WHAT I YOU TRYING TO IMPLY
Jack: i'm not saying anything i just want to know if you and your wife
WHAT???
had sex
yes!
and whats it like?

and the number 1 monty python moment is was there ever any doubt?

THE DEAD PARROT!

cleese: yes i have a complaint
Palin: and whats the problem?
i bought a parrot an hour ago and look at him
oh is he asleep?
hes not asleep he's dead!!
(Palin pushes the cage) look he moved
he did not!
look he is asleep!
with his eyes open!
when i sold you that parrot he was on that perch!
yes about that! On closer inspection i saw his feet were nailed to said perch
he's asleep!
he is not asleep look(cleese bangs parrot on counter and shouts in its ear)HELLO POLLY PARROT!!! see its dead
Now it is
look its being dead for hours its bit the big one, its played his last card, it shuffled of it's mortal coil and joined the choir invisible. it's an ex-parrot!

Palin: fancy a pint?
Cleese: thought you'd never ask....

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