The Enlightened will return in 2013!

Hello everyone!
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas which is why i haven't been updating since November. And what an exciting year i have planned!

ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE!

• The Flippies 2012 awards
• royal rumble results
• Tna Genesis results
• We are at the cusp of the 200 post the closest ppv to when the 199th post is written and regardless of cost that will be the 200 post.
• It wouldn't be the new year on the Enlightened page without taste-testing the new limited edition walkers crisps. They shall be tested as soon as they are available!

BOGGER BOX OFFICE SCHEDULE!
The search for 80's lad will come to a stunning end this year but expect more twists and turns than a bag of corkscrews!

• Janurary-Eamonn reviews Semi-pro
• Februrary-Joe-jack reviews Ghost town

At the end of the ghost town review I will make a special announcement!

THEME MONTH: OLD VS NEW! 1993-2004 Dandy format vs 2012 format

(Welcome to theme month, for those looking for Turning point or survivor series results look elsewhere. October is always my cutoff point for wrestling, got to save money for the you-know-what in December.)

We continue my first theme month since joining TGWTG in September. And with Doug Walker retired as a reviewer its only fair that we, the other forum members, pick up the pace. So I'm sure he won't mind me "borrowing" the Old vs New format, this one time!

If you were here last week, I told you that the Dandy comic is closing down and in my retrospective, I said it was due to the format drastically changing. But was it as bad? Is the comic from the year it dies just overlooked? or am i just wearing Nostalgia Goggles when looking at the old style?

I have 2 considerations,

1. Any strips with the same characters will be compared
2. the left-over strips will be treated as one entry and be compared

So Let's Begin
Cover
Again, for those who read bogger box office, You'll know i don't have a scanner or google links, You have to take my word for it, or Google Image search the issue number . For the old style i couldn't find in my search all over Leinster a 90's era dandy so i got the next best thing a 04 comic(issue 3276) before that years reboot. For the new style i picked up the latest issue (at time of writing the manuscript of this review)(issue 3600) in Dublin.
on the old style we have the format that has made the dandy so popular: a 3-panel strip or a"free laugh" this was always the best at it entices the reader to buy it as opposed to a splash page cover of scene that probably is not in comic itself.

The new style cover does not have that problem, as it's cover scene of Nuke Noodle picking up Matt smith and beating up Daleks with him as a weapon(Really!) is repeated inside the comic. the fact that it's drawing readers to a scene repeated is not as surprising as reading a different story about Dan.
Winner: old style.

Desperate Dan
 (Davidson/Harrison version vs Jamie Smart version)
The most famous Dandy character of them all has being there since issue 1, but in 2 years the design has being changed as well as his story dynamic and personality. A desperate Dan story always went like this.

• Dan sees his friends doing an activity (e.g. Skipping)
• Dan breaks the MacGuffin for said activity
• Not wanting to upset his friends, Dan, fixes the broken toy
• Dan uses a bigger stronger thing to use for himself (e.g. Telephone cables as skipping rope!)

In issue 3276, he is at the Highland Games Playing caber toss with cabers his size, he inadvertently sets up telephone poles for the entire Grampian region!
The Jamie Smart version sees him changed, removing his cast and putting him in more western style adventures on the back page. Here in an encounter with Billy the kid (a...well, a kid) Dan comes off as a bully not the gentle giant/Friend to all children as he is remembered.
WINNER:OLD STYLE

Bananaman
(Steve bright version vs Wayne thompson version)
Worldwide Bananaman is well known his 1980s cartoon voiced by the goodies has being picked up by nickelodeon in America, the format hasn't changed as it's still a homage/parody to Silver age comics. In 2004 we had the 103 tv episodes reprinted in the dandy as Bananaman's original creator had passed away. In the new version we has a cartoonly brightly coloured original story albeit short being demoted from 4 pages to just one. But the new style gets the point for originality.
WINNER: NEW STYLE

Keyhole Kate
(Sid burgon reprint vs Paterson/metcalfe reprint)
I admit, i never liked Keyhole Kate stories, who looks through keyholes has anyone ever looked through keyholes is a better question! The character has being uncancelled so many times that she was officially discontinued in 07.
WINNER: NO CONTEST!

Cuddles and Dimples
(Barrie Appleby version vs Nigel Parkinson reprint)
The Anarcistical Babies never failed to get a 9-year old me in stitches, or their long suffering parents and pets for that matter. in the old style Dad is trying to teach the parrot to speak for the pet show. But the babies are causing mayhem causing dad to shout threats, which the parrot relays in front of the judges, kicking Dad out of the pet show.
the Art shift in the new comic saddens me. the anarchy is now a growing pains story about the misunderstandings children have about how the world works. the grotesque features of the babies are stylised and the parents clothes modernised, and the dialogue of the babies is less childish. Her in a reprint before being axed, the boys think mum is laying an egg. Pretty tame if you ask me!
WINNER:OLD STYLE

Winker Watson
Steve white Manga-esque version Vs Steve white original character design
The story of the school-boy who lives in a boarding school surviving teachers,rich kids,bullies,his bumbling uncle as a P.E. Teacher, bank robbers and even aliens hasn't lost his charm. still a 2-pager, the newer stories are now part work, rather than a one-shot every week.
WINNER:NEW STYLE!


OTHER CONTENT WAR!
Old(jimmy's green Genie, Ollie fliptrik, Brain duane, Blinky, Sneaker,Owen goal, Hyde and shriek, Bad max)
vs New (Blubba and bear, Madvertisement, Bully Beef and Chips, Corporal Clott, Spotted Dick, My Dad is a Doofus, Brass Neck, Silly Moo, The Bogies, Puss N' Boots Nuke noodle,Beryl the Peril, George version Dragon and 3 pages of comic shorts)

As strange as it sounds the comic from the year the coffin nails are hammered, has more 90's era characters in it but only because the sad fact that they are reprints. the Modern era stuff are all flash designed with very little movement drawn into them. However the old style wins out with its eclectic mix of styles, humour and themes,While the stuff in 3600 original content looks like it was drawn by the same person, striping these new characters of any unique qualities or personalities.
OVERALL WINNERS: THE OLD DANDY!

THEME MONTH: CHILDHOOD ON PRINT: THE DANDY STORY

By Eamonn Bermingham
Winter
In Ireland, it seems to come earlier than other season and it's presence is felt by everyone.
The sweet scented wind? Replaced by bone-jarring screaming gusts. Brief rainfalls? Consolidated together into Stone splitting showers, And frost that malignant little offspring of water that can turn the smallest of inclines into Everest.
But with the threat of winter comes the promise of Christmas, Lights brightening darker nights, Tv Channels showing toy ads in the evening(Even non-Family friendly channels like Crime Network have toy ads!) and the shops in October has a being Christmas display towering over the little crappy Halloween display only for the shop had to move the Halloween display, on Halloween!,  to add to the mass of this display juggernaut.

The newsagent of a small town is perfect example of the approaching madness, Oranges and their ilk are shifted by box-fulls like mad, comic racks are filled with annuals and honestly, unless your German, who has eaten a croquette before December?

But Next year, the Christmas Tradition of the annual will have 1 casualty. This year on December 4th! the Dandy will close it's doors

But where did it all began?
Well, It all started 74 Christmases ago...
1937
I don't have to tell you why the comic became so popular so quickly, offering an escape back to childhood dreams at a time when Reality created a Monster. However, even the Dandy did their part on paper, Making Desperate Dan into a marine and sharing it's rota with its stable-mate the beano turning both comics from weekly to fortnightly during the war's paper shortage. They also had a strip called Hermy and Addy where Hitler and Himmler were turned into bumbling idiots. This shared rota went away in July 1949 as  the in-universe rivalry was resparked when the comics became weekly again. Usually if a character told an old joke or was unfunny, the phrase "did you read that in the beano" was the response.
these days we have a similar phrase "Did you hear that from Irate Gamer?"

A year after it's debut something was created that would change the comic game forever.
The Dandy monster.
It was the worlds first annual. Made entirely of reprints, today the annual is no longer reserved for comics. As licences such as cartoons, tv shows and wwe all have annuals. Anyone can get an annual it seems, One of the worst I've seen is an annual to glorified Bananarama/Bangles tribute band,Atomic Kitten.

In 1940 the dandy was entirely different to any other comic on the market, even its modern issues can't compare. While i grew up on its eclectic humour back then the stories themselves were varied, you had comedy, satire, sight gags, action,and (yes really, it seems so strange now!) TEXT Stories.

In 1954, The popular Desperate Dan character got his own annual. this lead from the former cover star Korky the Kat sharing the cover with Dan to finally in 1985, Dan became the sole cover star, Cuddles and Dimples became the stars in 2000, but complaints by long-term fans hated the change and by the Christmas double issue, Dan returned to the cover once more.

In 1982 the Fun-size Dandy, a smaller pocket book of one long story was released, Usually a strange cross-over with two characters that usually did not co-exist (Jonah and Puss 'n boots for example) as well as the on-going "Who's the strongest" between Dan and Bananaman, Funsize had Characters that didn't appear in the main comic, Such as Blinkenstein (where blinky is an UNDEAD rip-off of Mr Magoo!) and Barmy Army, As it was recalled when the licence to print a Dad's Army strip fell through. In 1999, Y2K was the storyline excuse why Some characters from fun-size appeared in the main comic. In time the funsize dissolved and the new character were left by the wayside.

In 1985, the ailing Nutty and Hoot! comics was merged bringing now loved Dandy alumni, Beryl the peril, Bananaman, Dimples,Bully beef and chips and Jocks vs Geordies.

Then in 2000, the champagne was uncorked in Dundee, with 3007 issues under its belt, the dandy became the 3rd oldest comic in the world and the second in the English language. For those asking, the order goes:

1. Il Giornalino (1/10/24)
2. Detective comics (March 1937)
3. The Dandy (4/12/37)

Then in 2004 the first coffin nail was hammered,

Feeling that the competition from America was heating up, The dandy went through a dramatic over haul. replacing the newsprint for a glossier paper, the free-laughs on the front and back was replaced by a splash-cover and adverts. and the price jacked from 70p/1 Punt/€1.20 to £1.20/€2 despite the beano, the more popular because of television, retaining its style and beating the others in sales, Then in 2007 yet another rehaul, this time changing the very foundation of the comic.

Issue 3426 saw the Dandy struggling to adapt to times, calling itself Dandy Xtreme, it's adaptions would see the comics downfall. Now priced at a ridiculous €3 And stuffed with a polybag along with cheap-ass poundLand toys (as free sweets with comics became outlawed in Britain's Child health laws, Thank you Jamie Oliver!) the cover stars were now licenced characters from tv games and movies. For the first time since war was declared, the dandy became fortnightly once more and now the Dandy originals under the thrall seemingly of advertising the cover star du jour, had their strips now themed to that character. Not even the Dandy's relaunch in 2010, redesigning the character to their original formats, and the acquisition of comedian Harry hill to has his own comic, strip becoming the new cover star demoting Dan to back page, could save the comic, for the last 2 years the main content has being reprints so now in December with 3609 issues, 75 years, 3 tv shows, 8000+ weekly sales, a Licenced desperate Dan wham bar! a computer game, a collection of stamps and a statue of desperate Dan in it's birthplace of Dundee. The Dandy will be gone.
...BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!

Plans to turn the comic into a web-show is in the works, this years annual has already being released for this christmas is said to be a tongue-in-cheek tribute to 75 years. with sales so great a 2013 annual has already being announced.

So this Christmas, as all Christmasses, are a time of remembrances, so this year, if looking  through your newsagents display, Look out for a comic annual for a child's present, it'll will like introducing it to an old friend!

IMPACT WRESTLING PRESENTS BOUND FOR GLORY 2012

On Sunday, the "Wrestlemania in Winter" Hit America, Naturally it wasn't a big enough deal for British television to show it live without ad-breaks!

We are Live in Phionex, Arizonia.

X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
RVD VS ZIMA ION(C)
A very awkward sounding bell is sound and Vam Damme has the Hammerlock. Whips the Filipino Champion into the corner, catches him with a springboard kick. Ion with a counter goes to the middle ropes, Twisting missle conectts, followed by Tornado DDT, Zima throws Rob to the outside, Follows up with a Suicide Dive. Back in Zima reddens RVD with deafening chops. RVD signature Monkey flip is countered by a low-blow the ref didn't see. Missle dropkick gets 2. Ion changes tactics by playing the submission game stretching RVD in a Abdominal stretch. RVD overpowers hits the rolling thunder and then the Five Star Frog Splash.
WINNER: AND NEW CHAMPION: RVD 3/5
So when was RVD a cruiserweight and since when did you see a cruiserweight with a belly full of cookie dough icecream, Mang?
AD BREAK: POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT, AFRO!

TV CHAMPIONSHIP
MAGNUS VS SAMOA JOE(C)
They have being the best of friends, the worst of enemies, and now they are vying for the gold.

Armbar by the Champ, Fireman's carry by the English Challenger. Sucker punch by Magnus followed by his 5 moves of doom, Clothesline, knees in the corner, knee Trembler, Sudden Impact and finally Magnus' Rarely seen finisher. The Mag-Daddy Slam...I'm sorry but it needs a better name...I got it!...Magnus Hits ...THE MAGNUS OPUS!...but it only gets 2! Samoa joke hits the Atomic Drop, Back splash Powerslam, Magnus tries to leap frog but his countered into a powerslam. Stf by Joe and after 3 attempts the Joe-Mission is locked and that's all she wrote!

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION:JOE
I SAID SINCE DAY 1 OF THIS BLOG,THAT MAGNUS IS A WORLD CLASS WRESTLER, MOST PEOPLE DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW. TONIGHT, HE MADE THE WORLD SEE WHAT I SAW!
AD BREAK: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA'S DON'T YOU WORRY CHILD IS A FITTING TRIBUTE TO THEIR ENDED CAREER!

STREET FIGHT
Bobby Roode vs James Storm
It just turn into a Bloody brawl, King BLOW Was as useful as the back of a clock! After Roode oversold the Closing Time, Storm smashed his face with a beer bottle before hitting the Last Call Kick.

Joey Ryan is now a member of the TNA roster thanks in part to a returning Matt Bore-gan! and the Tag team match was so boring! i feel asleep! But Hernandez and Jobbo The Eagle won. Yes it's being 2 years but I Still want to rub in the fact that Chavo was Jack Thwagger's  Thoaring Eagle!
AD BREAK: DID THAT WOLF JUST DISINTEGRATE THOSE CAVEMEN?

TNA CHAMPIONSHIP
TARA VS MISS TESSMACHER(C)
Oh now i see why the bell ringing has being off all night. Some Local DJ is the timekeeper who practically had to be nudged by Christie Hemme and Val to Start the Match!
SHAMELESS PLUG: CHECK OUT DANDY MONTH IN NOVEMBER ON THIS BLOG!
Headscissors by Adams when we return to match in progress, Kick to the ribs by Tara, Followed by a Chokerbomb. DDT by the champion. Broke then hits her with ...a move I've never seen before. And I Pride myself on knowing every move and hold, Hence my "ENLIGHTENED" Moniker! But Tara hits the Widows peak. 3 Title changes on the run? Look out Aries!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION:TARA
So Tara's "Boyfriend" is revealed to be Big Brother's Jesse Godderz. If he's a got contract to wrestle then this is the first, last and only time you'll see me call him Jesse Godderz, because from now on he's...you guessed it! GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER!

REALLY TNA? FIRST YOU TRY AND HIRE J-WOWW, THEN RONNIE FROM THE JERSEY SHORE, NOW THIS SHALLOW GENE POOL FROM BIG BUGGER?

STING AND BULLY RAY VS ACES AND EIGHTS("BIGMAN" (WES BRISCO) AND "ARM BREAKER" (LUKE GALLOWS)W/Joseph Park
This was a brawl until a new member of Aces and eights revealed himself. The New member was demasked and revealed to be...DEVON!
HOLY DOUBLE TURN,BATMAN!

TNA WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP
AUSTIN ARIES(C) VS JEFF HARDY
So Meth has a new gimmick to pile on to his continuing stack of drug-induced marketability a red demonic looking mask/helmet that look like the head of Yoshimitsu! Out next comes the Champion who has being wearing the Green Eye as of late when it comes to Hardy. Both men get mixed reactions, in fact, i believe the crowd maybe split straight down the middle. Great Wrestling back and forth to start this Main event of the evening. Side head Scissors by YoshiMethsu into Sunset flip, Handstand to get out by Aries!, Front Suplex by Hardy. Repeated knees by Austin into Hardys Back then an elbow drop, Swanton gets nothing but Knees! Austin using his knees to dish out most of his offence, now going to his Backbreaker, Snapmare, Dropkick by the champ, Hardy up Front suplex again. Off the ropes Corkscrew by Aries! Aries with a front facelock, trying to lock in the Last Chancery Hardy counters into a move he's never done before, A Cesaro Lift! Into the Wishbone legdrop.  Suicide Dive that busts Aries open. Incensed, he puts Hardy in the ropes with a crushing neckbreaker, Drop kick by Aries, he has one of the best in sport! But as he rises, Hardy gets the Twist of Fate but only gets 2 Austin splays a prone Meth Hardy onto the top rope from a Frankensteiner Brainbuster gets 2, whipped in the corner Hardy scores a running stunner, then the Twist of Fate then running on adrenaline, Perch on the top corner-buckle and hits the Swanton.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION:HARDY 6/5
IT WAS ALL CHANGE TONIGHT, ALL BUT 1 TITLE CHANGED HANDS, A FORMER TAG TEAM WHO SPLIT BOTH PASSED EACH TO GET TO THE OTHER EXTREME MORALITY CHOICES, AND DESPITE THE INEPT GUEST TIMEKEEPER THE RETURN OF BORE-GAN AND THE DEBUT OF A NEW Z-LIST CELEBRITY GOBSHITE, WE ENDED THE NIGHT WITH MATCH FOR THE AGES!
Follow me on Youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

November Update!

As Mentioned In my Winter 2012 update, I Will celebrate 75 years of British comic goodness that sadly, will close it's doors in December. This month's theme Month will be Dandy theme month.

Containing:

• OLD VS NEW: 1993-2003 format dandy vs 2012 Format Dandy
• Childhood on Print: The Dandy story
• More Characters than Street Fighter!: The Dandy Characters!

Find me at the TWGTG FORUM as EnlightenedIrishman or friend me on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

IMPACT WRESTLING PRESENTS: NO SURRENDER

With a month til the "Wrestlemania In Winter" Bound For Glory, the Bfg series comes to a close.

BOUND FOR GLORY SEMI FINAL
JEFF HARDY VS SAMOA JOE
We had this match on Impact last week, It was a ppv quality match. Hammerlock by Joe into a sidelock, throwing Meth to the ropes and knocking down with a huge Shoulder barge. A barrage of Kicks in the corner by Joe, ends with brawling onthe outside. Back in the ring Joe with an Atomic Drop, the stunned Hardy gets a big boot and Back splash for this troubles. whipped to corner, Joe hits his signature Clothesline/Spin kick combo. Snapmare, into a Samoan Nerve Hold into a more effective choke, throwing out hardy, Joe with the Tope On the outside.

Ad Break: Sharing nothing but a wrapper and an L-spaped Driveway!

Headbutt by the Samoan submission Machine,Enzirigri by Jeff, Hardy makes some offence with a clothesline, followed by the wishbone legdrop the whisper in the wind.Hardy charges, Urunage by Joe in the corner. Twist of Fate followed by an Anaconda Vice.Sideheadlock by Jeff gets 3
WINNER: HARDY
BETTER THAN THE MATCH THEY HAD ON IMPACT 4/5

Backstage, James storm reminds us that Bully ray eliminated him from the bfg last year, and for claiming that he was the leader of Aces and Eights.

Ad Break:Steve Coogan in a speedo? I think my eyes need to bleach my eyes!

BFG SERIES SEMI FINAL
BULLY RAY VS COWBOY JAMES STORM
This imatch was the reversed coin-side to the last match, the last match was fast and thrilling this...was not! In ending Bully ray won by a Dusty finish and an assist from Bobby roode's with a beer bottle. So all that building up storm was so he can lose in a dusty finish WTF?, TNA CREATIVE?
AD BREAK: RESIDENT EVIL 6: AS LONG AS THEY DONT MAKE A FILM, I'M OKAY WITH IT!

TNA KNOCKOUTS MATCH
MISS TESSMACHER (C) VS TARA
As always Taryn Terrell(the former Tiffany, and former Mrs Drew Macintyre) is referee. To steal a joke from wrestlecrap, YAY!
Collar and Elbow tie-up to start, Adams with Armringer, countered into a Wristlock by Tara, countered into a Headlock Takedown  by the champ, countered into a legsweep into a Stand-off. A chain of roll-out leads to rope break. Tessmacher complains that Tara made the first pin gets slapped by the vetern Tara, Following up with A springing Clothesline and the Arachnaphobia, Superplex and the Widows peak is countered into ...(sigh) A FUCKING ROLL-UP!
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: ADAMS
After a match that good it ends with the cheapest of all moves, the non-finisher, THE FUCKING ROLL-UP!

Austin Aries versus Armbreaker (Luke Gallows) ended as a no contest when the A's&8's ambushed Aries and Jeff Hardy.

AD BREAK DON'T MAKE ME THROW THIS HUMUS!

X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP:
SONJAY DUTT VS ZIMA ION:
Dutt takes advantage of Ion's Afro by pulling his Hair.Ion pissed off hits a Go-behind take down followed by an Armdrag. Head sciddors by dutt whos shoulder is heavily taped, goes for spinning elbow that gets caught in a gut buster. Suplex By Ion gets the Crowd to chant "get a haircut. Hostile Makeover by Ion gets 2, another headscissors by Dutt, Powerbomb by Zima, and an Armbar.

AD BREAK: Don't listen to Ed Sheeran and Devlin's Watchtower or Jimi Hendrix will be rolling in his grave!

....Well that Ad break by Challenge was very nessarcery, as we return to quick pins and the finish, Zima hitting a Gory Slam
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Zima ION

RVD defeated Magnus in a tv Quality match.

Challange much like Bravo before them have no clue how to show Wrestling the Following match for the Tag team championship was cut to ad breaks, In between the video package, the intros, and the match itself, streching out the match more than it possibly could. I Don't know if i mention this before but because Challange is too lazy to show TNA PPV'S LIVE(Despite being took over by sky who show WWE PPV'S LIVE!) The show is defered with ad breaks streching the ppv to 10pm-2am. by this time the tag is shown at 1am GMT, a point in time where the station bosses must say"screw it the show we are showing must not be important, let's make the AD BREAKS LONGER!, Ruining the pace of tag team championship match! Well i've Ranted enough about Sky's stupidity lets rant about Tna's Stupidity, as Daniels wins the match by blinding styles with his Apple-tini

At this time it's 2:20 after another commercial break. the Final of bfg series was just brawl really as an injured hardy was whaled on until he countered the Bubba Cutta into the Twist of Fate.

Well that's it! scroll down for thoughts and predictions of Night of (most of the) Champions.

Final card to night of (most of the) Champions!*SPOILERS!*

That's right despite having a month long tourney to find a new champion for a new brand, NXT, Because FCW has being rebranded as Nxt, it will continue has Florida championship wrestling did. I.E, as a separate entity to WWE. Meaning the NXT BELT CAN ONLY BE CONTESTED, DEFENDED AND WON ON NXT, OR NXT BRANDED-HOUSE SHOWS!

Now to the actual ppv. All matches are in ascending Title Importance.

YEARLY COMPLETY UNNESSARCARY NON-TITLE MATCH
Dolph Ziggler vs Blandy Bore-ton!
The walking, talking push killer win beat Dolph but it'll be for this:I Strongly believe Ziggler will cash in the MiTB briefcase either this Sunday or after.

DIVA'S TITLE MATCH
Fail-a(C) vs Generic Blonde with Big Tits!

How shit is Eve "Botch"Torres?
 SHE EVEN BOTCHES THROWING PEOPLE OVER TOP ROPES!
THAT'S RIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS, Kaitlyn wasn't even supposed to win the battle royal. And now we have 2 perky Faces who will dance, taunt and be idiots until Torres will interfere causing a DQ.
That is if she Doesn't Botch Her Run-in!
I just hope Beth's sabbatical is a short one!

Tag team championship
THE 2 BLACK GUYS CREATIVE HAS NOTHING FOR(c) VERSUS THE 2 MAIN EVENTERS WHO ARE FEUDING
EVERY TIME! NOT THIS! DONT KNOW WHAT I'M ON ABOUT? READ THE FOLLOWING IN Michael Cole's Voice:

• These two men can't get along how can they coexist?
• Oh my! Kane is hurt he has to tag
• Oh my! Kane and Bryan with A Double team, I have Never seen that Before!
• ....And they Won! these two men who despise each other are Tag Team Champions!

ANYTHING BUT THAT! Put Bryan in a Match with Charlie Sheen like you wanted! Make See No Evil 2: The Sequel! Just Don't give us this Same Kane/Whatever feud Cop-out you always do for the tag-belts.

U.S CHAMPIONSHIP
Antonio Cesero vs Winner of Pre show Battle Royal
There will be a battle royal(Contestants:Uncomfirmed)  to face Antonio Cesaro. Obviously Every constestant will be wrestlers who don't have a match. But it won't matter. Cesaro will beat that man on sunday to start of a fued as he has just ended his fued with Santino.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
GOBSHITE FROM MTV!(C)VS CODY RHODES VS SIN CARA VS REY MYSTERIO
Mangement has teased the Idea of turning 1 of the 2 masked men in this match Hell. Sin cara you're turning hell! Come on! it wont be Mysterio the man has spent 15 years being Face that not even a Hard Turn to ease him into this new role will be enough. Either Way expect Rhodes or THE GOBSHITE! to leave with the strap.

WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP!
LAME-ARSE(C) VS Alberto Del Rio
See above But if they don't execute the plan with Ziggler. I say sheamus to win.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP(C)
CM PUNK LOSES TO....I MEAN VERSUS....John Cena
There is no Nexus, There is no Rock, There is no giving up title shots for your best friend, Just a straight match in your home town(which Hates you has well for wearing a Yankees t-shirt in your Title Match debut!) So the dices are fully loaded and the deck is stacked in Cena's favour. Would you have it any other way?

I won't be watching the show but i will have thoughts about it!

THANK YOU FOR 2000 VIEWS!

And here is my announcement!

I have Joined the famous That Guy with the Glasses Forum in an attempt to get more readers. I would like to thank you all for your support over these testing 4 years and Dont take this the wrong way, but I only became The Enlightened One after you made me. So this blog is not my creation, it is the creation of your patronage.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Eamonn Bermingham

Bogger box office hallowe'en special update!

Turns out that Nostalgia Chick has already reviewed Wild wild west and unlike me and spoony doing a tekken month at the same time, I made the same jokes she did. So the review is cancelled in lieu of something TBA.

That is all!

WINTER SCHEDULE 2012

Will be winding down into the new year this will be because i wont be ordering anymore ppv but will still review the ones broadcast in Britain for free.
ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE
Sept-DEC tna and free wwe ppvs Only!
Nov-Nominations for the flippies 2012
December-MONTH OFF!
subject to change (there may even be a DESPERATE Attempt of a theme month, I'm sure it will be a DANDY Sendoff!)

I will also at the cusp of 2000 pageviews and i will make an announcement that will change EnlightenedTowers forever!

BOGGER BOX OFFICE SCHEDULE

Today-Eamonn reviews thunderpants
October-Hallowe'en special-Eamonn reviews Wild Wild West
November-Eamonn Reviews Black Night
December-A Culchie Christmas Carol: A Fable of 4 Partes

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT IN GETTING CLOSE TO 2000 VIEWS! I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT MY READERS AND FRIENDS ALL AROUND THE WORLD!

Summerslam 2012 quickie

In the Pre-show match, Antonio Cesaro is the new United States champion. Besting Santino in match that should have being on the main-card.

The event proper started with Chris Jericho vs Dolph Ziggler. Cole made the fact that Y2J has not won a single ppv calibre match all year. However Jericho defeated Ziggler in a dynamic bout.

Charlie Sheen was not in attendance, thank Goodness, As Kane tapped to the move now dubbed the NO!-Lock. What's next? Bryan gets an indecisive gimmick and calls it the MAYBE SO-Lock?

Rey mysterio, dressed as batman was defeated by Bane, or rather MY Bane, THE GOBSHITE FROM MTV! Rey couldn't take the Inter-Worthless-Now-it's-on-a-Pointless-Z-list-celebrity-who-should-be-in-the-Jungle-talking-to-Ant'N'Dec-eating-kangaroo-balls-by-now title. (BITTERNESS? WHAT BITTERNESS?)

I had to laugh at Cole trying to portray Lame-Arse as a working class hero. Yeah the man from Tallaght,(which is an affluent suburb of Dublin Town) who worked as an I.T Consultant who got a job because he's Hunt-uh's work-out buddy is a real example of us blue-collar bozzos(!)

Anyway Sheamus retained, despite Alberto's foot on the ropes. Just goes to show even the refs know what side the bread is buttered.

Gone but not forgotten,A.W Was over despite being fired. Why? because During the Kofi/truth vs Black Cena/O'Neill there was a "Kobe Bryant" chant. As predicted by me the fiery tribute to there manager was not enough for the prime-time players to win. And #MillionsOfDollars quickly became #BusFareHome!

Punk won after a restart in the match after a double submission.Punk is using heel tactics...and they still cheer Punk! We ain't never gonna cheer for Cena, WWE, HE STILL SUCKS! UNDERSTAND?

Before the main event, 15 minutes wasted on Kevin Rudolph seeing the theme for summerslam. Aren't you glad we had this and not the U.S Championship, or RYDER or REKS AND HAWKINS?
Oh, and to make it more pointless, Divas, Spanish Announcers and Michael Cole all danced and mimed to the song.

Finally All it took was going to the well a few times for Lesner to get a tap-out victory via that Brutal Kimora lock. Lesner was far from solid-looking after trips Punched Brock in the stomach, taking advantage of the stomach problems Brock had all of last year. Despite breathing like someone drowning, Brock defeated the boss-man in a shocker!

SummerSlam 2012 Predictions

YES, SO MUCH FOR MY MONTH OFF!

Sunday night sees the Descent of the Perfect storm but before we get to that here is all the other titles in Importance.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
C M PUNK (C) VS BIG SHOW AND JOHN FUCKING CENA.
So the wwe twitter followers said they would like to see rock vs punk at the royal rumble. and some are some Suprised at the heel turn. ER..DUMBASSES! YOU ASKED FOR THIS! AND IT'S NOT LIKE PUNK WASN'T VOCAL ABOUT ROCKS MAGICAL TITLE MATCH FROM NOWHERE!
As for match itself the rumble is janurary so i bet punk will drop the belt so he can win back prior to the Rumble.

Due to the joyride storyline Adr versus sheamus will offically not happen. stay tuned for more details.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
GOBSHITE FROM MTV (C) VS REY MYSTERIO
I see this in the middle of ppv to build the excitement after the tag match. Miz to win because somehow they think putting the belt on a reality tv attenion whore is progress!

U.S CHAMPIONSHIP
SANTINO (C) VS ANTONIO CESERO
NOW THIS IS GOING TO BE SPECIAL!
The former Claudio Castenogli (whose surname I butchered and i'm sorry) has being on a tear. The Swiss unique blend of techinal skill and hardnosed aggression has granted him a title shot. I believe Antonio will make history as wwe first swiss title holder. 1 request, WWE. Change him to face or change his music to something more sinister. No-one can stay mad at someone who comes out to Chelsea Dagger by the Frattellis!

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
THE TWO BLACK GUYS WHO CREATIVE HAS NOTHING FOR(C) VS THE PRIMETIME PLAYERS
As you may know by now, A.W. Has being fired for saying a comment on live T.V about the Kobe Bryant Rape Case.And accused wwe via twitter of double standards. why? well 7 years ago During cena's rapper gimmick during his fued with big show. Show said this rhyming couplet

                          You think you can beat me, Cena, you can't cos I'm A giant!
                          In my world you're a white girl, And I'm Kobe Bryant!
And that was when it was actual news! And no complaint were made then. I agree with A.W. Double standards indeed.
As for the match itself, The primetime players are at  a disavantage without their manager but expect them to put on a show in respect to their fallen mentor.

CHRIS JERICHO VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
Accussing someone of losing their touch is a dangerous thing but not if your opponent is a man who would anything to be famous except HIS JOB! All year Jericho has being focused on concerts and pitching television pilots that he seems to ne losing his touch. Ziggler is hungry and ready but needs to drop a main event calibre star. And he will. Why? Because Jericho is leaving to cut a fourth Fozzy album no-one will hear or buy.

THE DEPUSH OF D.BRYAN!
Daniel Bryan vs Kane (wHHHo Booked tHHHis sHHHit?)
The invite has being sent by wwe for Charlie Sheen to be in attendence. (Or he can appear on Skype to give a running commentary to what we just saw!) If he does turn up then the Boycott will begin to turn Daniel Bryan FACE! and boo Sheen when they have their match.

Main event(Funny how that worked out!)
HUNT-UH...VERSUS-UH....LESN-UH!
THIS WILL HELD UNDER SHOOT FIGHT RULES I.E A REAL FIGHT.
AND EXPECT TRIPLE H TO STILL BURY LESNER!

Well thats it! I will se you on monday for full results.

THE 1000TH EPISODE OF MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Welcome to my review of raw, Where as of last night. the entire landscape of wwe has being changed.

We start out with Vince McMahon introducing DX. Later Michaels and HHH brings back the rest of Dx. as for X-pac, we all know he "ate" Chyna in their porno, But it looks Pac has eaten all of Chyna. He is well fat. After making fun of Shawn losing his smile, and posing in  PlayGirl. This bring out Damian Sandow who promptly gets buried by his boss.

First match of the night  was Jericho, ADR and Ziggler versus 3 card carrying members of Triple h's Brown Tongue Brigade, Mysterio, Sin (enough) Cara and Lame-Arse. Ziggler swerves Jericho for the faces to get the win.

Backstage i Loled when May Young revealed her "son" a guy in a Hand costume.

Foley returned to manage Brodus to squash Thwagger. I know how good Clay really is. Give him a  chance to use a bigger moveset.

The wedding was called off when Vince reveled who the new Raw Gm is.....AJ! Well it'll still put her tv but not as a wrestler as we would like. Remember  when she was on the indie circuit and she defeated Fail-a and Michelle McTaker when they where joint champions? Neither does WWE. VIDEO OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN IS THEIR MOTTO.
Apart from You Have To  Be as Tall As Me to Get A Push-uh!

The fun didnt stop for Bryan as the rock came out and made fun on the short (when is 5,10 "short") Superstar calling him Frodo and a Oompla Loompa. Rock revealed he will be number 1 contender at the Rumble in Janurary. facing who ever is champion. he ended by giving rock bottom to Bryan.

GOBSHITE FROM MTV IS THE NEW IC CHAMPION. As long as he is only holding minor belts i will be happy not to see the chimp faced moron on tv.

After chastisting Heymen, Brock Lesner vs HHH IS ON FOR SUMMERSLAM!

More embarresment for Ginger Nuts as he faced Lita. she introduced the APA .All the past legends opponents swarmed the ring to overwhelm the Jobber.

Kane vs the Jobbers of many nations(Mahal, Hawkins,Reks,Hunico. El Actuallio Asamoano and Mcintyre)
became Kane and 'taker vs J.M.N! it was deemed no contest.

Finally in a twist that no-one saw coming, C M Punk turned heel after an assist from big show. rock made the save for cena then Punk swerved us all. A unexpected gm, a 2 ppv matches made, and the most popular face is turned. Truely the Landscape has changed.

Mitb discussion.

Saw the repeat last night. Must say not impressed. All matches discussed will be of ascending title importance. for those who just started to follow this blog, That means Non-title matches first, then Diva's, tag,Us, Ic world and Lastly WWE.

Curt "Tin-Jerker" Hawkins and Tyler Suks lost but refused to put over RySuck. Hawkins and Reks not without fans this night, but will have to do something more drastic to get attention.

How bad is the women's Division when Generic Blonde With Big Tits (Katlyn) got on tv? She is rarely seen on tv as she is terrible when eve and Katlyn got into the ring i was expecting the entire ring to be sucked into black hole of botched moves. Faces won but do you really care?

the tag championship match was cancelled for monday night so instead we got Black Cena and Shite-us O'neill versus El jobberco Uno and El Jobberco Dos. Colons won making the number 1 contenders look like less than nothing.

In the ppv opener, Ziggler proved to the world that he is every bit the main eventer winning the title shot. Sandow and the Italian proved useless additions relying on doing "comedy" moves (I WAS SCREAMING AT THE TELLY WHEN SANTINO PRETENDED TO BE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS) Nonetheless Ziggler will be ready for his first (Offical) World title reign.

And he could be facing this man, Lame-arse! defeated ADR in a very pedestrian match.

In the Raw mitb, John FUCKING CENA -you know the rest!

And finally Cm punk year of dominance continued despite shenannigans from A.j and his opponent Daniel Bryan. But wont stop there was time will be wasted on the 1000th raw for Yet Another Wedding Angle!

See you tuesday for results on Raw 1000th episode!

Tekken month:top 10 tracks(Warning! *SPOILERS!*)

GOD NOW I KNOW HOW THE SOUNDTRACK TEAM WORKING ON TAG 2 FEEL.

With 15 years of atmospheric tracks, whittling them down to 10 was no small feat and one that will debate and agrument. So let fate bring those who heed the call, this is top ten tekken tracks.

Nunber 10.
HEAVENLY GARDEN/FALLEN GARDEN(TAG 2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evzrS5wS-8
Many people were shocked to find out that Jun was to be the final boss in tag 2 not true orge, However, if it's all about the entrance, then appearing FROM THE DEAD, IN A BALL OF LIGHT, NUKING TRUE ORGE AND STEPPING OUT INTO A RESPLENDENT VISION OF HEAVEN AS THIS PLAYS IS UNDER STATING IT'S AWESOMENESS!
And if you it's think it's over, think again. at the 1:50 mark, this happens
Wow, you talk about the complete oppossite!
You take a calming track and then it drops a dub-step bassline from nowhere into an aggressive-sounding track, while at the same time is composed of the same melodies and instruments. Thats what it is a corruption. The stage is now night , with rotten flowers and water is now Liquid latex or what ever it is      (J)Unknown now wears. And it fits perfectly what ever has bought jun back has corrupted her.

Number9
HALL OF JUGEMENT(AKA JIN'S THEME)
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcLplcQ-8
I'm expecting backlash for this having so low for one reason alone: Over-Saturation.
Its was in 4 in the vault. in devil within on 5, Jin and Xiao's pandora form theme in SFXT and gained the hall of judgement name in Tag 2. And after 4, With his new moveset that you had to re-master and the whole selling out your divine mission for a throne crap, Jin has lost favour with the fans. his Initial theme,though is standard.
You can listen to this in your throne all day, blissfully unaware that your mother, cousin and girlfriend are conspiring to kill you!

Number8
JULIA'S THEME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYnjHcB3DM8
There are piece of music that reflect the personality of the charectors. Jack-2 man of artificality, Armour kings monument Valley and both of Xiaoyu's original tracks. But none capture Julia's reluctant nature to fight than this track builds and builds until the guitar hook brings it on home. Yeah she maybe reluntant to fight but i punished many a player in Sinnott's in Cortown with X AND CIRCLE, CIRCLE, CIRCLE, CIRCLE!

NUMBER 7
ANGER OF THE EARTH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsqSRmenf1g
We had piece of music that explained charectors, Now we have a piece music that describes the background! Fighting during an earthquake while a volcano destroys all including a church showing us that fate in god is no match for Mother Nature.

TIED FOR 6!
FALLEN COLONY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSKUVpcF-Xw
AND MADE OF STONE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLzZakiVoiA
These are here for 2 Noodle Incidents in the Tekkeniverse, Namely how did Big Ben get blown up on a beach in Devon? and When was Washington Dc built by Bloody Stupid Johnson?(NO NOT BORIS!~But the incompent artisan builer of Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld)
Since steve is a Londoner I'm surprised that no-one has ever mentioned this or asked any of the 20+plus American charecters if Obama needs a cherry picker to gets to his office?
These are never asked, and probably never will!

Number 5
QUIET INTERIM REPORT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf65nkeBe8ky
Lets talk about Boss Music. Usually it helps to strike a balance between Tenseness and Listening Enjoyment. Too tense, like monument valley and you run too quick making mistakes. Too aesthetically Pleasing, You get caught in the moment and still lose. This Strikes a perfect balance.

NUMBER 4
SPARKING!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_CO64-fvKA
Imagine the scene You are Harada's staff working on T5. Tekken 4 has being visiously panned by critics. But all is well.X and Square and the 4-button super-charger is back, the stages are a mixture of walled and classic free-roaming arenas. Most of the cast whose moves where absorbed by orge are back. Combot is put the same bus as are  the Mariachi band that supplied 4's BGM. But how do you show that you've done your homework?
WITH AN BIG ASS INTRO!
And by God isn't the intro all kinds of awesome!
The first is the direct ending to 4. After Jin hands his Daddy and Gran-daddy asses to them, Both are awakened by a helicopter that shoots pods into Honmaru. As the pods reveal themselves to be Jack-4s, For the first time since-ever!, 'Hachi and Kaz team up to take out the killer robots, Until Baztardya in True Bastard with Dada Issues Form, turns on 'hachi, throwing him into the Jack who bundle, then blow up. as Raven looks on confirming the death Heihachi as he cuts a Jack in half.
-Okay intro over lets play this ga-
#I'M HERE NOW~!
wait a second intro?
Yes the Lyric above starts the second intro as Sparking! become bgm. as an intro its really a roster call of who's in the game as well as showing us which of the new charectors are face and hell (Clue: saving kittens,Good! Killing elderly men, BAD!). Its up here for being a rock track and sounding like Linkin Park.

3-WAY TIE FOR THIRD!
CYBORG NINJA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3wwOJG8RVs
Yoshi's 2nd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc0MTQGzwoo
And No Eyes, No Ears...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsvB0s_bI9U
All these have on thing in common they all belong to one man...alien...robot...whatever he is, Yoshimitsu

Yoshi just may be the charector people thing of when they think of Tekken. So ugly and yet so likable. and of all the charectors filled with different personalities. it's the alien that is the most human. All the tracks are immersive techo(in the case of No eyes, no ears-Trance-like) Tracks.

NUMBER 2
EMOTIONLESS PASSION(AKA KAZUYA'S THEME)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G53GWYxRGq8
Seeing and hearing all these tracks as bought back some memories, but hearing this back a painful one:
I Hate The Mist Step!
Before Tekken 3 made the mist step a move that everyone has, it only belonged to the man quickly dubbed as Baztardya, and boy howdy, didn't the Cpu abuse the move so much it didn't take long before you where lying on the ornate carpet, counting lights.

And the number 1 Tekken track is...
BLACK WINTER SKY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVFnXKpiH5M
If I'm playing a game for the first time, i watch the entire intro from start to finish, so i get the feel of the story and game Quality. And of all the tekken intros, all of them great, Black winter sky is simply acoustic gold. With charectors showing less polygons since there first outing, we are treated to a dynamic Intro, with motorbikes, thunderstorms, exploding shops and a sweeping shot of the hall of kazuya's mansion as the sub boss fly around, ending with Angel holding Kaz in a possessive Manner.
Very telling considering who Angel really is.

So there you have it.
Normal Service to resume tomorrow when i give my opinions on Last nights Money in the bank PPV

Tekken month:Eamonn reviews Tekken Live Action.

This months theme -Jin's theme-Tekken 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcLPL8cQ-8
Welcome to Tekken Month here at The Enlightened Page. Many Have been Wondering why I;m reviewing a film here and not on Bogger Box office.
2 words.
Old Shame.
Back in 2009 I said was excited about the tekken movie as i saw the first stills and liked what i saw.
The GamesMaster did an interview with Harada that said Optimum payed him and his Staff NOT to overview the production, we feared the worst.
And what was the worst?
Missing  charecters, Misplaced Etnicities and a yoshimtsu costume from Eurosaver!

So let's Insert coins to play Tekken live Action.

So Instead of the actual tekken storyline we are plunged into a shitty rip-off of Running Man, where it's really 2034, not present day and the world is now run by corporations not  governments.

Okay is this about the "war" between Mishima Zaibatsu and G-gorp? because they are not countries. Never onces did Heihachi or Kazuya invaded countries, Jin tried to invade Spain but the U.N. stopped that shit cold just like in real life.
And if it was always the cause that whole continents were ALWAYS controlled by companies wouldn't  stating the nationality in manuals be pointless? Nina was always refered to as Irish. I never saw her referred to as being from "Brikhausen" as they call Europe here.

We begin the film proper as Jin (john Foo) evades Kalishplosions in his fetch quest for an Internet Router. He lives in what was new york (now called Anvil, yes really) in the USA (now called Tekken, Yes really)

After being payed by $500 by Bonner, Jin watches a press conference held by Heihaci(played by Tsang sung from Mortal Kombat), Jin buys coffee, an orange and a bar of chocolate(all illegal here!) from Tiger Jackson and...wait what?
They are giving speaking part to an actor to play a one-shot character?

We Cut to Heihachi and Kazuya (played by a white actor) Inspecting the Jacks(Really the tekken Force, but hey if actually got Namco to watch the film then it would never have came out with the amount of mistakes to correct!) At least they get something right, Kazuya despites his father still.

Jin returns home to his mother, Jun making this film around the tekken 3 storyline hadn't the timeline being butchered.
So Mother and son have an arguement which goes something like this
-Mom, why did you train me to fight while banning me from the tourney?
-Well. its got nothing to do with the Angel I turn into and the Devil Kaz turns into forcing us to have the sex that conceived you!
-WHAT????!?
-NOTHING!
Whatever! Here's hoping you don't die, so I'm forced to join tekken to find answers to your murder!
Aaaaaaand five minutes later, she's dead!
Searching the rubble that was his house, he finds Jun's tekken worker I.D.

So Jin goes to the open match run by Steve fox (Luke Goss)
Don't remember him? let me refresh you're memory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OiXa4R0esy
Don't ask me which he is, they all look the same. 

So Jin defeats Marshall Law(wow, Law just can't catch a break, First Forrestt gets in a bike accident, He loses his restaurant, and now he was sent into space in the Pandorra with Paul ,and now this!)

Oh and just to piss off fans further Tekken is now Cagefighting, because tekken is not known for open fighting in stunning backdrops, no, it's known for repetitive moves in confined spaces.

Steve becomes Jin's agent and they head to Iron fist stadium
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic4LfioBxBE
Did you enjoy that piece of legit tekken action well have it destroyed by the next scene
Kazuya having a threesome with Anna and Nina!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6utE5APd4wA
Even Lee had his ass handed to him by both for even suggesting that in Tekken Amine, But Kazuya? He doesn't have the time between Killing his son and father repeatedly to have time with the ladies.
Next night,(as all this was shot at night) Kazuya reveals the competitors.

• Raven(G-Corp,making him Arabic and not Canadian) Played by a Wesley Snipes Lookalike, because he didn't need the money(Ironically,Snipes was popped for Tax Evasion in 2009 when this was in production!)
• Eddy Gordo(ValenCorp) Now an "underground enforcer with a bounty on his head"
• Dragonov-Who has a healthy tan for a Goth!
• The Williams Sisters(representing Eyderdex, Making them...South African?)
• Christie Monterio (from Veltrocorp, Making her Australian, More on her Charecter Assassination later!)
• Miguel Rojo(Making him a Cannon emigrant)
• Yoshimitsu(you can see the zip on his costume's back)
• And Finally Bryan Fury who all things considered looks more like he's supposed to.

So Jin starts some small talk with christie.Christie in the tekken games looks like this
http://www.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Christie
if you scroll down on the above page you will see Kelly Overtun who plays Christie in this film.
Word of God from Harada tell us claims Christie's Design is based on this women
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmMULiwetU
Can we get a picture of Kelly Overtun and beyonce together?
Wow(!) It's like they were seperated at birth(!)

First Round, Raven defeats Eddy, Jin Defeats Miguel, After his Match Christie invites him to go clubbing, ending the scene with a kiss that will upset Jin/Xiao shippers and Christie/Eddy shippers. As Christie leaves, Jin is attacked by the Williams Dressed as Ninjas. Steve is pissed that Tekken is rigging the competition.

Round 2, Christie vs Nina, Whose famous Catsuit is now a bikini and assless chaps, is defeated by Christie.
Backstage Kazuya blackmails Bryan about his Cybernetic enhancements, Paying him€1000,000 for the service of killing Jin.

Yoshimistu vs Jin is next. Kaz launches his takeover of Tekken. Steve gives Jin his power gloves. Kaz reveals during the fight that he is Jin's father.
Heihachi saves Jin after Jin Kills Yoshi.

All the fighters get detained, Kaz tells Jin that Yoshi is alive but ratings spiked so high the remainder of the tournament will be to the death.Raven,Jin, Christie and Steve have a break out, leaving the Williams to rot, They rescue Heihachi and take him to Anvil City, Where Jin told that not only is Kaz his father, he is a Rape Baby.

The Jacks destroy the safe house and kills Steve and Heihachi and captures christie.

Under the new rules, Bryan kills Dragonov, And Kazuya taunts Jin. The game does it better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIHbRpzXW1Y
Raven gives Jin words of encourgement before the final:
JIN VS BRYAN
As he found out in Tekken 4, Bryan's Malfuntioning Cyperparts actually enhance his strength, But using a diving kick from a tower, Jin Kills Bryan.

Kaz goes to fight his son with axes.
Lets finish this!
Christie escapes distacting Kazuya long enough to lose.Returning home, Jin becomes Leader of the Resistance.
Hopefully the Resistance has supplied a Throne Room for him to sit and look Emo on.

THIS FILM SUCKS!
You can see that this was no effort to make an actual canonic experience for fans. Miscast actors, most of them the wrong race and Incessant Terminology of Tekken terms, make this a detached experiece of actual tekken storyline.They're some good points, the costumes makes the actors look the Tekken Fighters...from a distance. But the fight scences, Kalishplosions and collapsable walls in some fight scenes make look like an episode of Power Rangers.

Not the kind of thing a fan of Martial Arts films wants to hear.
But if you want to read how to do a Tekken film RIGHT, Stay tuned to boggerboxoffice.blogspot.com

CREDITS
Tekken live action Review was Written, edited and compiled by Eamonn Bermingham
With clips from:
Tekken Live Action
Russel Howard's Good News
Tekkenpedia
With music:
Jin's theme from Tekken 3
When Will I Be Famous by Bros
Girls(Who Runs The World?) by Beyonce
All clips belong to there respected owners, all Rights Reserved
Tekken is the property of Namco/Bandai
and Tekken live action is produced by Optimum Releasing.
Follow me on youtube on http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment.

Slammerversary quickie

I know another quickie. Unless sky bothers their asses to show tna ppvs Live instead of deferred days later, then I may be tempted to watch an ILLEGAL stream.

Anyway. Austin Aries defeated Samoa Joe in a literal and figurtive show of Strength. Aries, the 190-something cruiser lifted Joe, the 250-something heavyweight in the Brainbuster.

Garret Bischoff did something that his Daddy tried to do for years-Set wrestling back 30 years. If they was any doubt Hogan trained Bischoff. then the Archaic moveset of body slams, sleepers and Standing ddt, as a finisher!, should answer you're question!
Kid Kash returned to face an also returning Hernandez. Hernandez looks like he lost weight as his flying moves got more air and distance. He could be a major title threat again, as talks of disband Mexican America are making the rounds.

Putting womens belts on talentless bikini models must be contagnious as Brooke Adams (Tessmacher) is the new Knockout champion. In a roster that contains Mickie James, Angelina Love, ODB,Velvet Sky, Tara and Katie Lea Burchill, they put the belt on Brooke Adams? oh and to avoid confusion between her and the new signed (for only a year!) Brooke hogan,Adams  has dropped her first name ala Hernandez and Kazarian. Because we can't tell a blonde woman from a brunette one(!)

Joseph park(Abyss) won his match when a fake abyss(one of bully rays students) put Bully ray through a table.

Finally appartently, because challenge shows the entire event from 10pm-2am with no repeat as you will now by now. Aj and angle are the new tag champions and Roode retains his juggernaut sized Inital title run against the new Tna Hall of Fame inductee,Sting.

It looks like the Raw on this week as not the 100th episode so i will watch it. in 5 weeks time and review it.
Stay tuned next month for my big Tekken theme month. Ending with the Exclusive review of Tekken Blood Vengeance!

Summer update.

Giving the Size of Tekken month for next month, and the fact that i'm reviewing Slammerversary On Thursday, A full review of Raw's 100th episode is cancelled.
However i still plan to give my thoughts about it in one way or another.
That is all.

WWE OVER THE LIMIT 2012 Quickie

We started the show with this match in progress.
No 1 contenders battle royale for winner's brand secondary belt.
It was won by christian who later defeated Cody Rhodes later that night. Christian is your new I.C champion.

Kofi and R-truth retained against Zig-Swag. I don't like that these 2 former and future world champs are demoted to the tag division. He's hoping Dolph takes Zack Ryder up on his offer.

Layla defeated Beth AND NOT A SINGLE FUCK WAS GIVEN ON THAT DAY!

Sheamus defeated ADR, Bore-ton and Chris Jericho in a match so boring, i fell asleep. I woke to see the last five seconds of Brodus Clay squashing GOBSHITE FROM MTV! With Miz being recently and solely blamed for wm27's failure. It's about time Miz should realises that he Never belonged in the wrestling ring.

After those's turkeys, It was NO BULLSHIT TIME! as Punk and Bryan contested the best half hour of wrestling all year! If didn't see the match, SHAME ON YOU! for missing a classic. Punk won amid controversy, he rolledup the YES! LOCK and tapped as the ref's hand counted the fall. It's not over between these 2, that i can promise you.

RySUCK defeated El Actually-o ASamoan-o (Camarcho). Please explain what is Ryback's alignment? Is he face because of the canned cheers? or is heel for the way he destroys people.

And Big show returned to Swerve Cena to save Johnny Ace's job. I'm sure the explaination given to Show lastest Turn(You can set your watch to these turns, they are so predictable.) was Ace promising his job back if he took out Cena. The match itself was a full blown comedy skit, With bell shots, water poured down Ace's trousers (Real Mature, Cena! No Wonder The Wife Left You!), and Fire extinguishers. But you know by now that if a heel is threatened by being fired,  he wont be.We Are Not Stupid, Vince!

If you liked this, Stay tuned for the 1000th raw episode review. And Tekken Month in July.
Subscribe to me at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment.

Summer schedule 2012

Here's what I have in the Ganderbag for you this summer.

THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE
May-Winning Nxt and tough enough...Is It Worth it?
June-PPV RESULTS WILL RETURN BY THEN!
August-Mantatory Month off. (scheduled to change!)

BOGGER BOX OFFICE SCHEDULE
May-1 Ticket to Hell-Eamonn reviews Silent Hill (3-parter!)
-Ending to be choose by you by amount of page views.
 this will end the current story line and begin the new one in June, Starting with...
June-Constantine.
August-Eamonn reveals the REAL sequal to Ghostbusters!

JULY IS TEKKEN MONTH ON BOTH BLOGS!
THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE FOR JULY

• Review of Tekken: Live Action!
• top 10 tekken music
• Family Counselling Will Not Sort This! The Complete backstory to Tekken.

Bogger box office.
Eamonn reviews Tekken:Blood Vengance

You like?Tell me at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

TICKET TO RIDE: SATAN THE BASTARD SON OF THE HUMAN RACE: PART 2

(THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FICTION AND THE CONCLUSION BACKSTORY OF THE DEVILS DVD STORYLINE AT BOGGER BOX OFFICE.)

The creature loomed over Eamonn, His taloned fingers flexing into an invitation to sit in a cinema seat.

Did you enjoy that little entrance of mine? I have no imagination of my own, but i had a feeling you would appriceate it!
who are you?
OH PLEASE! HORNED HEAD? CLOVED FEET? FIRE BRIMSTONE AND LOST SOULS? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?
(SIGH...)
Humans....If didn't need your imagination to survive...i would just kill you there and then...
what?
Let me explain....let go back to the begining....

 I dont remember my birth or childhood. i doubt i even had one. Life had step out the primoral ooze and i still felt...Ancient. For millions of years I was shapeless, nameless. feeding of the pain and death of animals feeding on themselves. That was until monkeys where sheltering from a thunder storm.

The troupe of monkeys where in a tree when a branch was stuck with lightening and set ablaze. The sheer joy of discovering fire, replused me, and their discover of music only digusted me further. That was until one monkey got a little overexcited and wanted to take the fire.
(One of monkey leaps into the flames and catches fire. the entire troupe bellows in worry)
The pain that came from interrupted happiness, worry, death and mourning. This intense pain i gorge upon. to the point. that the monkeys were aware of my presence. I was hit my their stones. I had become flesh. It was then I realised that i should wean myself to only taste the the glorious pain of this new species.

However it was not easy. As you spread to the entire world, your species branched into different cultures. Discovering art, music and religon and litartute and theatre, only served to deter me as if i couldn't feed on fear i my victims imaginations were too strong. Like my ill fated battle with Dante.

Dante was dying after years of exile so i offered him life. if he created me a name and army and a nation for that army. And so Hell was created by his great machinations. But he came to me. and wrote me in as a prisoner of my own domain. A Creature born of fire, Encased in ice. But the omem of the comet gave me a lease of life. and you sell your soul after reviewing Leap Year, even if you meant it as a joke, Sealed both of our fate. And now Eamonn Bermingham prepare for your Judgment!

WHAT EVIL SCHEME DOES THE LORD OF DARKNESS HAVE FOR OUR HERO? WHAT FILM CAN BE SO BAD THAT IT POWERS THE DARK ONE HIMSELF? FIND OUT DEAR READER NEXT MONTH (MAY 2012) ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE AS WE TRAVEL COURTESTY OF OUR....
ONE TICKET TO HELL!

TICKET TO RIDE PART 2: SATAN,THE BASTARD SON OF THE HUMAN RACE! part 1

(The following is a work of fiction and is part of the backstory to bogger box office's Devil's Dvd storyline.
(Eamonn wakes up after being teleported after his review of sex and the city two. He rises from a carpeted floor to stand only to realise that he is not on solid ground. but in a train compartment, hurtling at speed. cracking his head of a table. using it to prop himself up, Eamonn ventures down the train's corridor.)
"I know this place"

(Venturing down the darkened corridor. Eamonn finds that train's decor very strange. the tables are in fact deskstops the windows are old movie posters and the carpet is red and sticky. going to sit down he falls but notices at the last minute that the chairs a foldable.)
"Its a Cinema lobby! they made a train to look like a cinema lobby. this the Ticket to hell express I created as a metaphor! but  who made it real?"
(The train whistle blows loudly like an air raid siren turning the air into a thick mist.)
"....whoever is driving this train."

(Entering the engine room the a working projector is displaying a railroad towards the camera in a continous loop.)
"best not to touch that!"
(Going over to the boiler he sees something circular spinning wildly in the white flames.)
....SO YOU HAVE FINALLY WORKED OUT THE TRUE POWER OF MY DVD!
"Your dvd? Then that means..."
(smoke bellows from the boiler, as a feathery form comes out. Over the tannoy system, a familer piece of music starts to play
                                     #Please allow me to introduce myself,
                                     I'm a man, of wealth and Taste
                                     Been around for a long, long years
                                     I can leave your soul to waste!
                                     I was around when Jesus Christ
                                     had his moment of doubt and pain.
                                     I Dahm made sure that Pilate
                                     Washed his hands, and sealed his fate!

(an explosion depenses the smoke to reveal the Devil.)
                                  # PLEASED TO MEET YOU!
                                  HOPE GUESSED MY NAME!

TO BE CONTINUED....NEXT WEEK!

TICKET TO RIDE PART 1:A BRIEF DIAGNOSIS

(the following work of fiction is a brief synopsis of the current Devil's Dvd storyline on the sister site. bogger box office.)

february 2011
To celebrate pathofenlightment's then 3rd birthday, Eamonn along with Joe-jack and 80's lad, reviewed the Inception. the surperb sci-fi put Eamonn on cloud 9 so it did. So Joe-jack issued eamonn to the challenge to watch sex and the city1. In March the film made eamonn tempt fate and say that there was no film worse. Then the comet landed. and delivered the impossible. A film worse than satc.

LEAP YEAR!
The Racically driven film sent his patrioticly Irish blood to boil. and in his rage, said to sell his soul to the devil. he was then put in a coma for a whole month. May came so did the 2nd 3 tickets to hell event. the invasion of the local supermarket in protest of cheap dvds driving dvd shops out of business was the first example of the devil's dvd power to send plot items from the reviewed films out to the real world. So by sending the plane from sleath. Eightie's Lad blew up the supermarket with the owner inside. eamonn was left on the ground where he was attack by a rent-a-cop! eamonn defeated the temp with a superpower the Hadou-Kara punch as an intentive Satan looked on.
Satan was not the only ones to infintarate our world. Frank from Donnie darko left a cryptic warning.

"HAVE YOU SEEN A LITTLE GIRL? THIS HIGH WITH BLACK HAIR ? YOU WILL IN 11 MONTHS!"
As well as a demon disguised as Drunk-o Drew Barrymore to kill Eamonn. After a break, Eamonn hit the devil where he lived. with review of Avatar. but he never showed up, bar an ouija board marker than told Eamonn that this year. there will only on film being reviewed for Ticket to Hell. The tension was running high between the 3 heroes. even at Christmas, as a usually laid-back Eighties lad was home-sick and tired of modern life. In February,Eamonn returned to SATC 2 and in his anger got captured. But providing Joe-jack a(sigh!) Nappy Lorry to find Eamonn. leaving 80'S Lad alone with the devil. Promising to sent him home via portal in the film Hot-tub time machine! Lad's disappearance led to a computer programme under the the earth crust to activate a "Universal Deletion Protocal"

But that is a story for another day!

THE PEOPLE'S WRESTLEMANIA! ONCE...IN A LIFETIME

SPECTACLE. GRANDEUR. LEGACY.
THESE WORDS ARE USED TO DESCRIBE THINGS  THAT SHOULD BE BEYOND DESCRIPTION. TO THINGS THAT BINDS THE WORLD TOGETHER. WHEREVER YOUR READING THIS, BE HAPPY THAT THE STAGE IS SET FOR A GREAT SHOW.

America The beautiful was sang by Garcia. I Suppose it saves wwe money. Money that should be used to bring back the Fink!

Video package focuses on the once in a lifetime match.

Sheamus bet Bryan in 18 seconds. I know you're Hunters best friend but come on!

Kane destroyed Bore-ton with a super chokeslam!

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
BORING DASHING JUST PLAIN CODY RHODES VS BIG SHOW.
Drop kick by Cody is caught in mid air into a Gorilla Press into a beal. Cody is in the corner he gets show's signature frying pan chops. Leading to a bodyslam a stinkface and finally the Linkara Punch!
I AM A NEW CHAMPION!
*PUNCH!*
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: BIG SHOW

DIVAS MATCH WAS BULLSHIT!
Maria Menoues contributed nothing to the match.But somehow after gingerly climbing the ropes for no reason, she won the match.Crowd were in beths corner all match. RIP WOMEN'S DIVISION!

UNDERTAKER VS TRIPLE H!
Both men start by trading punches. Taker headbutts HHH.On the floor, taker irish whips hunter and pushes shawn away. Hunter is thrown through the the steps.Back in the ring, Trips with a facebuster to taker answers with a clothesline. Old skool. Followed by introducing the steps in the ring. Leg drop by taker.DDT by Hunter. Pedigree countered into back body drop.Hells gate but triple H gets out. hhh and hbk agrue. Sledgehammer. hell's gate on Micheals, hunter saves his friend with the sledge.. All the 3 legends are down. Little Naitch in to replace shawn but is taken out. Sweet chin music pedigree. But the streak lives on! Snake eyes, legdrop. Tombstone!
WINNER UNDERTAKER 20-0.
With whelps and bruises covering his body like a tapestry , this year the deadman wins and leaves of his own power. exhausted the best they can muster is a hug, If this is the end, then what an end it is. The 3 heroes riding into the sunset, filling us with the hope that some day they will return.

Team johnny won thanks to Eve, and now GOBSHITE FROM MTV, Who got the pin will get a title shot now. the match was doomed from the started when the Bella swanks did the ring intros. By the way, accoeding to Nikki Bella someone who waves a flag is called a "standard-barrier". Good to know!

Chris jericho failed to wrest the title from punk. Jericho is leaving at the end of this month to Support(let's put it into persceptive, people!) in the download festival in Donnington,England.

And Finally, the rock defeated Cena in the match that lives up to hype. Cena's showboatting cost him. and walked into the Rock Bottom! the crowd was up in arms for the local hero. I Feel sorry for new jersery next year for even trying to top this show!

THE PEOPLE'S WRESTLMANIA: FINAL WAVE OF PREDICTIONS!

OVERBOOKED 2012!
TEAM LAURINITAUS

• David SHITunga
• Jack Swagger
• Dolph Ziggler
• Mizark Hungry
• GOBSHITE FROM MTV!
• And Drew Mcintyre(with John Laurinitaus, vickie guerreurro and twin skank#1

vs Team Long

• Santino (US CHAMPION)
• Zack Ryder
• kofi kingston
• The great khali
• r-truth
• and Booker T(with teddy long, hornswoggle,aksansa and Twin Skank#2)

Breaking news! Christian is out of wrestlemania due to reagrravating an ankle injury during the weekend causing him to be replaced by CELEBRITY ATTENTION WHORE! Alberto is not on the injured list but will not be back in time from the PR tour in Peurto Rico. Mysterio is still injured and won't heel in time. Am i Angry that Miz has a match? no! because it's a throwaway match. No-one will remember it. and i'm pretty sure most involved will be futured endevoured by years end.

well that's it join me monday for all the fallout from Sundays Wrestlemania 28!

Victory road quickie!(re:are you sure Russo Got fired?)

(sigh)
Why do i even bother to stay up and report it when its shown THREE DAYS After America?
Anyway Storm bet Bubba in half a minute.
Aries retained against Zima Ion. I love that Zima has being transformed into the most hated man in Wrestling.

Eric Bischoff started a fued with Jerermy Borash of all people! If this becomes a match i will pack in watching Impact for good!

Devon defeated Robbie E with an assist from Brooke Hogan of all people! Devon is your new tv champion

In another Title bout, Crimsonberg turned on matt Bore-gan in a swerve you could see from space. Joe and Magnus (who need a team-name!) retain.

Despite having an entire roster of ready and hungry contenders Gail kim CURB-STOMPED Madison The Jobber! I mean Maddie GOT PWNED!!!!!!!

Angle defeated Hardy in a world class bout.

and finally, in the worst finish I have ever seen in a wrestling match, Sting KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT on a steel chair delivering the Scorpion Death-drop! the match wasn't even a title match! It makes the champion look weak and it makes its opponent (even one as expierienced as sting!) Look amatuerish!

Well thats it! i will have news on the 12 man tag as soon as all members are revealed!

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THE PEOPLE'S WRESTLMANIA:THIRD WAVE OF PREDICTIONS!

New match signed

NON-TITLE DIVAS TAG MATCH!
Poor Beth Phionex! This time last year at Waste-of-a-mania she was buried and used in a comedy stint. Upon turning heel she was become champion and has being on a tear, But as i said they had to turn compentent heels like tamina face and somehow Nattie's disrespectful flatulence gimmick is to turn her also.
But Beth has no competion. Kong is a new mother,Tamina had her shot, AJ is a heel as is Nattie and Naomi who came second in NXT 3  IF YOU REMEMBER is a dancer! so who is left?

Sigh.....
BETH PHIONEX AND EVE "BOTCH" TORRES VS KELLY KELLY AND SOME SKANK FROM E!

REALLY? YOU'RE DOING THE CELEBRITY PARTICPATION THING AGAIN?
OKAY SNOOKI IN A MATCH IS ONE THING! WE KNOW WHO SNOOKI IS IN IRELAND!
WE DON'T KNOW WHO MARIA MENTOS OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS...IS! WHO IS SHE? YOU ARE A GLOBAL COMPANY AND YOU ARE BRODCASTING, NOT JUST SOME SKANK THAT HAS NO BUSINESS IN YOUR RING BUT GOING AGAINST YOUR CHAMPION!
HOW DISTRESSING WILL IT BE FOR FEMALE FANS TO SEE A WOMEN WHO HAS TO WEAR A BIKINI TO RAISE RATINGS GO AGAINST A WOMEN WHOSE GIMMICK IS PURE FEMINISM!
ARE YOU SURE VINCE IS NOT IN CHARGE ANYMORE?
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH

I'm going to have a rest in a dark room if you like this bookmark, press follow at the top right corner, or friend me at youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

THE PEOPLE'S WRESTLEMANIA! SECOND WAVE OF PREDICTIONS

This is an update as of wednesday 14th of march.

NEW MATCH SIGNED!

RANDY ORTON VS KANE
I don't like them.
I hate Now hate everything about Orton. His slow, Runs-on-battries ring walk, his one-word-a-milliea promos. and the Roster screwing mega-push that made Christian who busted his ass last year to become champ, only for orton to make his run as champ for 2 days!

And then there's Kane...
Everytime I see this tired, immobile slab of meat get pit on the shelf, we think he is done. but then we have to watch through crappy vignettes to realises he's coming back.
And he comes back...Stronger than ever and more irritating...
Like Thrush Or Something!
Anyway, My prediction for Kane Loses to...I mean, versus Orton.....WORK IT OUT!

If you like this press follow on the top right corner, or friend me on Youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

THE PEOPLE'S WRESTLEMANIA-FIRST WAVE OF PREDICTIONS!

(this post is only predicting the outcomes of the signed matches as of the first week of march only.as according to offical wwe sources.and televised announcements)

THE ROCK VS JOHN FUCKING CENA!
1 third of 'mania's triple Main Event, Its the Rock versus the Fruity pebble, the Bramha Bull vs the Bramha Bullshit! It's the Marine vs the Tooth Fairy! this time exactly 10 years ago. the rock lost to that old Hack Hogan to put him over! However hogan came back to (snigger!) wrestle. Rock is not back on the roster. So why would he put himself over when he is leaving to film again? Despite this it's in his home town so unless they want to pull a Jim Ross in Miami. expect the rock to lay the smackdown on J.F.C'S MAN-GINA

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!
Now this is going to be something special also! C.M. Punk the man who this last year was at the crux of telling McMahon to take his job and shove it, is headlining the main-event. His opponent? Chris jericho, possibly the best Canadian wrestler in the past decade (except for that guy we can't mention!). Jericho believes that everyone has rip-off him in someway. and the main person doing it is punk. I think punk will win simply because Jericho is leaving AGAIN. This time to play in his band that is supporting a bigger band, or to runner-up in a game-show or host a game-show that will get axed in its first season.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!(YES! YES!YES!YES!)
Ironically this match was on the card last year but was cancelled in lieu to that michael cole/Jerry Lawler debacle! Our man Sheamus will take on the increasingly heelish Daniel Bryan. This will be a very high octane clash, and one with a sense of importance. As you know there is a storyline that Johnny ace is wanting to dethrone Teddy long and become Double GENERAL MANAGER! And both men has picked sides so this match, that will go either way,will most likely change the battlefield completly.

THE STREAK!
HELL IN A CELL!
HHHVS UNDERTAKER III!
Every year , for the past 4 years, i have said Undertaker the easiest bet i ever made. That was until we saw those leaked photos of undertaker, Bald, grey Old and tired, Its was a shock to many. And the focus of Taker's gimmick is now that is finding opponents that could end his streak, not being retailiated after they cost him a title match like every single other match in the streak. this will be the second time the cell will be at mania, the winner of the first match? taker! the man with most hell in the cell experience? HHH! EXPECT IT TO ROUGH! EXPECT IT TO BE BLOODY!

EXPECT IT TO STEAL THE SHOW!

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
BORING DASHING JUST PLAIN CODY RHODES VS GOLDDUST BIG SHOW!
So Dustin is denied his Last Hurrah, And Big slow will be facing Rhodeth! Cody has being getting on our collective nerves with his embarrassing Big show moments vignettes, Showcasing the tomfoolery that goes into booking show for 10+ years straight.
I predict that show's  big Linkara Punch will correct Cody's lisp by the night end!

Walkers mystery flavours review

It is offically the fouth year of this underground sensation that is the enlightened page. 4 YEARS AGO....When this blog was created, it was an entertainment blog... My Own Entertainment. then i Discovered Doug walker, Lewis Lohvag and TheWrestlingfan.com and thought....What if i made their style of reviewing to critique wrestling? and so this blog is categorized as a wrestling blog.

However, the reviewing of crisp flavours by walkers was the very first thing i ever did.

THIS YEAR WALKERS has introduced 3 mystery flavours inspired by(and i'm quoting here!) "Britain's favourite ingredients and flavours!"

THE BLUE PACK
Crisp is yellow with green herbs and a strong garlicky smell
it is the returning GARLIC BREAD flavour from the World cup walkers review.

THE GREEN PACK
Crisp is gravy covered with herbs dotted here-and-there,
It is an improved CHICKEN DINNER from last year's red nose walker's review.

THE BURGUNDY PACK
This one required a lot of thought!
The crisp is covered in a brownish-red spice and covered in black pepper
Don't quote me on this but i think it's an ITALIAN SAUSAGE of some sort.

Well that's it!
there won't be a review of elim chamber but there will be wrestlemaina specials up until wrestlemania.

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FEBRUARY UPDATE!

Due to personal affairs and the sheer size of March's Bogger Box Office review, the results for Against All Odds is cancelled.

However monday's review of the Limited Edition Walkers is still on!

THAT IS ALL!

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2012

In the Steel cage match, Bryan was lucky to fall from big show's grip, rather than i don't know-be booked to WRESTLE!

The heel divas won against the face divas in an 8-person tag. Beth and Nattie did all the work as the Bellas seemed more occupied with the cumbersome ribbons in their hair.

Kane vs Cena was deemed a no contest, when Kane destroyed Zack Ryder again.

drew was squashed by brodus. I can't believe how over Clay is.

Ziggler gave it his all but was unsuccessful in reaching his goal against C M Punk. it was such a good match. Laurinitaus, fearing his job safety was forced to call it down the middle.

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
ENTRANT#1 GOBSHITE FROM MTV
Best rumble ever! There'll be no repeat of "Waste-of-A-Mania" this year.
ENTRANT#2 ALEX RILEY
...And in 2 seconds riley is eliminated.
ENTRANTS 3 AND 4 WERE R-TRUTH AND CODY RHODES
Beuatiful disaster on Truth.
ENTRANTS 5 AND 6 WERE GABRIEL AND PRIMO
Truth is eliminated but gives miz the Little Jimmy to the outside.
ENTRANT#7 MICK FOLEY
Primo is eliminated
ENTRANT#8 Making an entrance in a busted up Datsun. and using his boss' music
RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
This is ricardo's face turn. he bet up rhodes to seal it. and elimed justin
ENTRANT#9 SANTINO
Ricardo is eliminated.
ENTRANT#10 EPICO
Miz and rhodes are back in and foley epico and santino are eliminated.
ENTRANT #11 KOFI KINGSTON
and hits the Boom drop.
ENTRANT #12 JERRY LAWLER
Fist drop and then he is eliminated, returning to the announcer table.
NEXT 3 ZEKE, MAHAL AND OUT FOR REVENGE ON HIM, KHALI
Jinder is eliminated. then zeke.
HUNICO IS NEXT FOLLOWED BY BOOKER T
Kofi is thrown out but does a handstand to stay in!
NEXT 2 DOLPH AND HACKSAW!
Hacksaw is eliminated then booker and khali.
ENTRANT 20: MICHEAL "ATOMIC HEATZ" COLE
ENTRANT 21: KHARMA And Cole is eliminated then Hunico.
but then she's eliminated
ENTRANT 22: SHEAMUS
Kofi is eliminated.
ENTRANT 23-26 WERE ROAD DOGG, JEY USO, THWAGGER, BARRETT.
Dogg is eliminated
NEXT ARE DAVID SHITUNGA & BLANDY BORE-TON
Double rope ddt
Uso and barrett are done.
NUMBER 29: CHRIS JERICHO
Shitunga is eliminated
AND FINALLY THE BIG SHOW AT 30!
ORDER OF FINAL ELIMS.
SWAGGER
RHODES
MIZ!
ZIGGLER
SHOW
ORTON
JERICHO
WINNER OF THE 2012 RUMBLE: SHEAMUS HAS BECOME THE FIRST IRISH MAN AND FIRST EUROPEAN TO WIN THE RUMBLE, BUT DONT COUNT OUT JERICHO JUST YET!

SO THE SMACKDOWN MAIN EVENT FOR WRESTLEMANIA IS IRONICLY THE MATCH THEY CANCELLED LAST YEAR!

SHEAMUS VS DANIEL BRYAN(C)
I DOUBT THEY WILL TURN THAT INTO A DVD EXTRA!

Well that's it!

THE FLIPPIES 2011

It's that time of year again where we look back at the year past and ask...what Gobshite tought Michael Cole wrestling was a good idea?

Yes its the return of my awards post the flippies. and we start with a new Simpsons-theme award.

DOCTOR MONROE WAS SICK!
(RETURN OF THE YEAR: THE ROCK)
When the wwe website revealed that Mania was going to have a host, the entire IWC groaned with indifference. the rumour was Justin bieber was to perform. So when the rocks music roared through the arena the crowd came unglued.Despite an absence of 7 years. Johnson had the same energy and charisma that his rival john cena would kill for.

MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION
(FUNNIEST THING OF THE YEAR: Z! TRUE LONG ISLAND STORY)
With nothing more than a camera, his friends and i guess $20 dollars worth of props, Zack showed us that if given the screen time, he can be entertaining. the massive cult following turned the one-time jobber into an internet star and eventually the current (at time of writing) U.S. champ. It just goes to show that if you put your heart into believing in something, that it pay-off big time in the long run.

WORST.EPISODE.EVER!
(STUPIDEST THING THIS YEAR)
I should put Michael Cole. but i was going to induct a promo when Brie was champion who said she wanted to draft all her competition to smackdown,despite the fact that the Diva's belt is DUAL-BRANDED! It had to be stupidity incarnate to top that! so this ham-fisted manouver wins . It is of course...
MATT HARDY FAKES SUICIDE ON FACEBOOK!
To all wrestlers following in Z-ryde's footsteps. Don't become Fatt Lardy! the former Impact wrestler lost his job by posting message which fans deemed suicidal. Even his closest friends were worried that Lardy had gone to all night diner in the sky.Hardy was fined for Misdeminour wasting police time.
But the stupidy from hardy didnt stop this year. 3 months ago hardy was photoshopped-imean photographed naked with new girlfriend Reby sky. Many people didn't think it was him but i'm convinced it was.

His Rolls where covering her boobs!

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH!
(best exit or most awesome thing)
HUNT-UH VERSUS UND-UH TAK-UH...10 YEARS LATE-UH!
Despite me calling it Waste-of-a-Mania by me on wrestling united, One match was fun to watch. And if you thought that a match between 2 top draws and not for any title would be a phoned-in affair...
you were sadly mistaken!

MAUD'S FUNERAL
(SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR)
EDGE RETIREMENT
Admit it! you never saw it coming!
After retaining the title at mania and keeping ADR'S Destiny at bay, the fact that the next night edge came out in street clothes was a worrying sight.
And we were right to be worried.
As Edge's Pelvis was so damaged, if it took another heavy knock, he could be paralysed, In a wheelchair or worst case scenario,Dead. but for his services in the ring it had being announced that Edge is the first inductee into the WWE HALL OF FAME CLASS 0F 2012!

THE HOMER(WRESTLER OF THE YEAR)
Despite James storm,Bobby Roode and ADR Having their first world's title reigns and a consistant string of 4-5 star matches all year, 2011 was Year of The Punk! With his contract expiring Punk came down and Shot a Promo so legendary, Veterern Sports hack Jim Rome thought it was real! Yeah it was a worked shoot, but admit it! you enjoyed every minute of it!

THE POOCHIE
(WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR)
MICHAEL COLE
It started innocently enough.To build up the identity of the General Manager(who was anticlimaticly revealed to be johnny ace!) Mick Cole The Dick-hole became drunk on power. all year Cole has annoyed,enraged and embarrassed fans who payed €22 this year to watch "WASTE-OF-A-MANIA" on box office. From having a man-crush on GOBSHITE FROM MTV!,to being a total mark for wwe whenever Daniel Bryan had an iota of success. While the push to announce on both shows seems to be permanent, Please cole stick to announcing. IT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT! BARELY!

THE MARGE
(BEST WOMEN WRESTLER)
Congrats to Beth phionex, the most strongest most beutiful flower to grow from the pot of dirt that is Women wrestling in this decade. Expect a long reign and a face turn from compentant heels like Tamina and Nattie just to make the title mean something again. But that what happens when you give the title to the likes of Kelly, Eve "Botch" Torres, and Brie bella (all three who may or may not have f**ked Johnny ace for their jobs!) honourable mentions for gail kim, Nattie and A.J Lee. no-one else did anything of merit this year.

THE LISA
(WORST FEMALE)
FOR THE SECOND YEAR RUNNING ITS THE BELLA TWINS
But don't worry girls, i heard Hooters is STILL rehiring!

MY PLANET NEEDS ME!
(GOOD RIDDANCE!)
MICHELLE MCTAKER QUITS VIA TWITTER!
Fellow members of the IWC! WE HAVE THE POWER TO BUILD CAREERS LIKE ZACK'S, WE ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO TEAR THEM DOWN!
In a move that will eventually see her quit the 'E in spectacular form! Michelle mcCool joined twitter. was illundated by tweets that stated the obvivious that marriage to taker has gave backstage power and her long title reign was due to her abusing that power rather than beating her opponents. (how many times this year did she win due to interference from Layla,Dq or Count-out? too many too count) Despite saying that she has left due to "a pile-up of injuries". the I.WC Can say that the quality of wrestling has went up a notch. To Notch 1. Ces't la vie.

Drop me a line at http://www.youtube/user/ThePathofenlightment
And will see you soon for results on the royal rumble.