TNA FINAL RESOLUTTION AND AD BREAK THOUGHTS

Change of scenery this time around. not using a cafe computer i got my own at last! but this isnt coming from my house its beaming from my parents house so lets get started!

video package is a christmas themed package. sorry put x-mas with tna together and i'll have flash-backs to the barb wire x-mas tree match!

TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
MOTER CITY MACHINE GUNS VS BRITISH INVASION(C)
USA Chants to start this off! the crowd behind the guns,doing what they do best quick tags in and out.Brutus "mr Sky Tv" Magnus stops that momentum dead with a bearhug.sabin gets the tag to shelly who double teams with round kicks and takes out the Brits with stereo Planchas to the outside! Shelly back in with magnus and big Fubuki from the former Gladiator.tag to williams and leg scissors by the veteren. gory special applied by williams. as the ref was checking on shelly brutus took out sabin in the corner. Tag and B.i's hit there Neck-tie Finisher bit of show boating cost the champs as Sabin gets the Hot-tag! ddt by sabin gets 2 shelley hits a suicide dive.tag to shelley, shelley hits a Sliced-bread but only gets 2 magnus hits his Tormenter but doesnt pin. guns hit there dropkick ddt combo followed by the crossbody/stunner combo.but the brits hit the Hart Attack and its over!
WINNER AND STILL TAG CHAMPIONS:BRITISH INVASION 3/5

AD BREAK: NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS MORE THAN STRONGMAN LIFTING HEAVY THINGS!

TNA KNOCKOUT CHAMPIONSHIP
TARA VS O.D.B.
Val (thats the ringside girl!) looks terrified taking poision the spider. Way to earn your pay-check, Maria-clone! Tarantuala into a flip senton to start this one! but its mostly the one dirty bitch with power moves like shoulder breakers, scorpion death drops foldway slams but a roll-up gets tara the win!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: TARA
GOOD MATCH BUT CANT TOP THE CAGE MATCH FROM LAST MONTH 3/5

AD BREAK: ITS BEHIND YOU YOU BASTARD!

Another hype video for hogan to take TNAs money and run, bruther!

FEAST OR FIRED MATCH
LETHAL CONSEQUENSES(JAY LETHAL AND CONSEQUENSES CREED) VS CODY DEANER VS BEER...MONEY(ROBERT ROODE AND COWBOY JAMES STORM) VS WORLD ELITE(ERIC YOUNG,KEVIN NASH,SHIEK ABDUL BASHIR,KIYOSHI,HOMICIDE AND BIG ROB) VS SAMOA JOE

in a side note, body builder Marissa Coates is nashs new valet since Coates has wrestling training. she is defintly a step up from the useless Girl from survivor that nash had dirubg the summer

AD BREAK: look at the size of this coconut!

Bashir gets case 2, big Rob gets case 4 nash gets case 1 samoa joe the final case

CASEHOLDERS:JOE,NASH,BASHIR AND STEROID MAN!

AD BREAK: NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS IS AN UNDERRATED CHRISTMAS FILM

BACKSTAGE: KURT ANGLE AND AJ STYLES
ANGLES SAYS HE WANTS A TITLE MATCH

THE REVEALING OF THE CASE CONTENTS
Nash: tag team title shot so i guess it could be young and nash challenging for the belts
Samoa Joe: World title shot(naturally)
Steriod Man: X-Division shot(better throw those pills away)
Bashir: fired(dont worry shawn come back under a mask disco dance a bit and call yourself Kebab man!

AD BREAK: Every Russian bar has a trapeze act in it!

8-MAN TAG MATCH
RHINO TEAM 3D JESSE NEAL VS "HERNANDICE"" SUICIDAY" THE BLACK POPE AND MATT MORGAN
As per the rules of the tag match on impact hernandez must fight 1-4 for 5 minutes cross body to start this off.rhino hits a belly to belly but Super-Mex counters the gore into a pin
RHINO IS ELIMINATED
Here comes the calvary in hernandez' partners but Fail hits a chairshot on hernandez  hernandez returns the favour suicide gets a 3d for his troubles!
Hernandez, neal and suicide are eliminated

burke uses his boxing skills to the delight of fans but gets the 3d
the pope is eliminated.
its 2on1 now as morgan gets fuck him up morgan chants 2 carbon footprints later and we have a winner
WINNERS:MORGAN,HERNANDEZ,POPE AND SUICIDE

AD BREAK WATCHING THE DARTS AS WELL DURING THE BREAK. PART TO WIN

LAST MAN STANDING
SCOTT STEINER VS BOBBY LASHLEY
Steiner out with lead pipe. krystal is ejected from ringside with steiner now stalking her. but its a trap and gets a pipe shot to lashley back inthe ring and lashley hits a jackhammer. he tries for the dragon sleeper but gets out of the ring he does it so quickly that steiner may be injured in that leg.another pipe shot followed by a ddt powerslam a low blow. steiner is the one of the toughest fearless wrestlers there is dont believe me? who else would do a frankensteiner with an injured leg. end comes by krystal hitting steiner with the pipe steiner is out for the 10-count

winner:Lashley 3/5

MICK FOLEY AND ABYSS VS DR STEVIE AND RAVEN
Raven with a kendo stick stevie comes out with a steel chair that says USE ME ABYSS this is a wild match with weapons inthe end stevie got covered in barb wire and elbow dropped for the loss.
Winners: foley and abyss.

angle wins 2/1 against wolfe 4/5
aj retains against daniels 

OVERALL: GOOD SHOW NOT GREAT! BUT GOOD. ALL EYES WILL BE ON HOGAN TO SEE HOW LONG BEFORE HE'LL FUCK UP TNA!

SO THATS IT MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY AND HEALTHLY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY READERS!

i just bought a computer!

bought a computer today as well mobile internet the connection is slow but at least i have blogger and can reply to youtube.

Eamonn

WWE tlc results

ECW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH LADDER MATCH
SHELTON BENJAMIN VS CHRISTIAN
this is a respect match so both men get a decent amount of pop. a single fan chanted we want edge you may remember a roh vs tna show where a fan chanted that at Christian and christian said Edge fucked your girlfriend too! Killswitch early but countered into backbreaker. monkey flip by the champ but the gold standard land halfway up the the ladder! christian gets bloodied by head-shots! and the medic comes outand this hot crowd chanting we want blood! the champ has a big whelp that covers his right eye! the match continues though as  shelton goes for a Cannonball Senton of the15ft ladder! a ladder is set horizontal on the apron. stinger splash by shelton gets him a ladder in the face! but that momentum stopped by Dragon whip. shelton climbs the ladder but christian sneaks behind and reverse ddts him. but the agile benjamin hops the rope like a cat back onto the ladder powerslam bennamin tries for the strap but is dangling 20ft and down! christian does the same later! end comes by christian frog splashing through the prone ladder

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION:CHRISTIAN
last week he said that he and shelton will steal the show and they did just that!

Drew McIntyre is new ic champion

WWE WOMEN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
MICKIE JAMES VS MicHHHelle McCool w/ Layla El w/ The worst english accent ever

Personally i think that Phemon Phuckers comments about mickies weight was disgusting especially when they were said by  a women who cant bend over to tie here shoe in fear that she would puke!
i would go for a Mcrib right now

anyway stalling done
WINNER AND STILL FUCKING MAIN EVENTERS TO BEAT GENUINE TALENT: MCCOOL

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP TABLES MATCH
SHEMUS VS John FUCKING CENA
both men get a mixed reaction. a bit of trivia if shemus win the title he would be the first irish champion in 75 years! anyway powerslam to start the match by shemus followed by a Celtic Sword attempt but cena counters like a pussy bicycle kick running bear hug countered cena tries to the super F-U but it fails as falls out on the table

WINNER:AND NEW WWE CHAMPION SHEMUS

TAKER RETAINS

DX NEW TAG CHAMPS!

SO THATS IT! JOIN ME HOPEFULLY FOR SOME TNA RESULTS AND MAYBE A CHRISTMAS THEME MOCK THE WEEK!

GLOSSARY OF WRESTLING TERMS PART 3

RINGSIDE ITEMS

Apter-mag

a magazine that protects kayfabe named after bill Apter a former pwi writer and current writer for fighting spirit

Blade-see blading in part 4

Bucket-wrestlers are obligated to fight 300 days a year. if they are sick there match is put first in the card so they can leave early. if not there is a bucket that they can vomit into. the vomit is then turned into John cenas script!

Chairs-weapons

Dirt sheet-a magazine that makes fun or insults wrestling. most mma magazines and the guardian sport section in the 70s were these

first-aid case-self-expanitory

paper-free or comped tickets

so that it! join me for part 4 its a big one! merry christmas and a happy new year!

Breaking news umaga found dead!

was going to conitue my 4 parter of wrestling terms but months ago i said that umaga should be in tna and was sure it wasnt the last time he would here of him that the strap match that he had with punk was a MOTY contender and he shouldnt have being fired the next day

well i fear that it is my unfornunate responsibitly to tell you that Eddie "UMAGA" Fatu has died last night of a suspested heart-attack

he was 38.

Clearly a fantastic wrestler former ic champion who should be remembered for his 9-month winning streak, his fall count any-where match with Jeff Hardy, his shear toughness especially standing bleeding like a tap after 4 sledge-shots by HHH, and the afforementioned strap match from this year.

outside the ring Fatu was troubled with drugs having 2 suspensions on his career. but in the ring he was a believable seller selling the Samoan spike (thumb to the throat finisher) like it was the most painful move in the world.

Eddie you were to good for WWE and now you are too good for earth
thank you for entertaining the most fickle of audiences,
the wrestling fans

Eddie Umaga Fatu
samoan wrestler.
former Intercontinantal champion
1973-2009

glossary of wrestling terms 2

part2-jobs in wrestling

part3-ringside items

Agent-a former wrestler that relays bookers orders to wrestlers and brings wrestlers to the medic.

booker-the writer for the storylines and decider of matches.

colour commentator-a wresler that provides the humour and expierience to the commentary

diva-a vague term for all the female workers in wwe.

enforcer-a wresler posing as a second!

jobber-a wrestler payed to lose. they dont have contracts to the company

low carder-a wresler that beats jobbers and loses to mid-carders and main eventers

mid-carder-the 2ndary belt holder, the former champ and its contenders.

main-eventer-the world champ, the former champ and its contenders.

play-by-play-the commentator that explain the match and calls the action. he usually has a brodcast or sport background.

manager-a person who manages wrestler he drives for him. manages his money and makes sure he arrives at his appearances.

valet-a female manager that just provides arm candy!

TURNING POINT RESULTS QUICKIE

will be quick long story short i dont have a computer of my own. i using an cafes computer near a river and the river is flooded and i fear it will get worse so my review of twi-shite: poo moon will have to wait!

amazing red retains x division belt against homicide in an always exciting opener!

odb and taylorita beat lazy von erich, Velvet the jobber and madison the jobber. it was pants!

british invasion beat beer money with a distaction by kevin nash. nash stole the legends belt from eric young to seemingly give to hogan.

in a match that they wre building for months it payed of well. as tara powerbombed the 350 pound kong in a fantastic cage match.

team 3d and rhino beat the team of hernandez, matt morgan and the black pope the crowd were hot for this match and it was great.

Desmond wolfe (formerly known as Nigel McGuinness) put up but was shut down by angle in a pure wrestling classic! it had the crowd chanting this is wrestling. the moves were solid the story telling was believable, and every move was sold to a tee. it gets my rare 6/5

the pace was slowed down a bit by the main event as aj styles retained against Samoa Joe and Christopher daniels. a good match but there was so many on that night!

so thats it it may be a while before you hear from me hoplefully id be having a laptop of my own for christmas

Survivor series predictions

wont be watching it but here predictions.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP 3-WAY MATCH
JOHN FUCKING CENA VS HHH VS SHAWN MICHAELS
money would be on: Fucking cena

world heavyweight championship 3-way match
UNDERTAKER VS CHRIS JERICHO VS BIG SHOW
Money would be on: jerishow to implode! taker to retain

team Kofi(kofi kingston, mvp, mark henry, r-truth and ecw champion christian) vs team orton (randy orton ORTONS BITCHES LEGACY, cm punk and william regal)
MONEY ON: orton due to kozlov and jackson interfience

team morrison: (ic champ morrison,evan bourne shelton benjamin, matt hardy and finlay) vs team Guy from mtv and not a wrestler even if hes the us champ! (miz, jack swagger, sheamus,dolph ziggler and drew mcintrtyre.) money on morrisons team

team face divas vs heel divas
face divas(Mickie james,eve torres, kelly kelly, gail kim and Divas champ melina perez) vs heel divas(micHHHelle mcCool, beth phionex,Layla,jillian and Alicia fox)

you will noticing that the crap divas are on micHHHelle team to quote simpsons "for protection...and to be seen!"
 money on Backstage power wins over hard work and talent any day!)

so thats it wont be watching survivor series have to save my money for christmas will focus mor on tna to end this year will review the rumble in janurary. never missed the rumble does i. see you for turning results next wednesday!

glossary of pro-wrestling terms for beginers Part 1 the basics

Welcome to the ENLIGHTENED PAGE, dear reader. if you have been on this blog before you would now that apart from any random rants and wrestling results, that i do a monthly theme for instance april i told you stories of april fools on a grand scale this summer i did i monty python month.and lets no firget my why wwe is sucks and why tna is the future pieces.

this month its a 4-piece on wrestling terms.

note: don't be confused if i put in British wrestling terms because i am indeed Irish stop asking me if we pay for things with potatoes!

Face-a "good-guy" in a match he wins matches cleanly. John FUCKING Cena is my example.called blue-eyes in britian

Heel-a"bad guy" in a match. he is a wrestler who cheats to win Randy orton is my example

Tweener-an "inbetweener" a wrestler that is neither heel or face. he is either a popular wrestler who cheats(the late, great, Eddie Guerrero) or a heel that is so good that he has earned the fans respect. (Kurt angle)

Attitude Era (1998-2002)-the change from family values to more edgier and at times lewder material.

Angle-the storyline reason that 2 wrestlers are feuding. it could be for the title to gain the services of a manager revenge or something more obscure(Al snows revenge for his dog!)

botch-a fucked up move (lesners shooting star press at wm19)

Bump-move that roughs up the user and recipient  (shane's Leap of Faith)

Bury-when a wrestler is driven down the ranks by a loss (Triple h is hated because he buries wrestlers) compare Push

Business-the wrestling business!

Pop-the cheers
cheap pop-to mention the name of the town or praise the local team
canned pop-recorded cheers

Heat the boos for a wrestler
cheap heat insulting the town or local sports team

card-schedule for the nights match

cross-promotion-when two promotions have a trade agreement

Curtain call - the break of kayfabe that show that the heels and faces are in fact friends in real-life!

Draw-a wrestler that does exactly that draws money and people to events.

Fall-a pin.

Feud-As part of angle there is a feud. this is a series of matches between wrestlers these last months or even years.

Finisher-moves that usually finishes the match.

Green-inexperienced (Boring Rhodes is my example)

Gimmick-any act to succeed in wrestling.

Hoss-a big wrestler that is clumsy in the ring(Mark Henry)

house show-an un-televised show

indy-a wrestler who is independent of promotion. an indy-show is a bunch of wrestlers. fighting in small venues.

invasion (2001) the storyline of wwf  by wcw and ecw. after this all the 3-rosters and became wwe

job-to deliberately lose to make the opponent look good.

Juice-blood or sometimes steroids.

Kayfabe-Pronounced ka-faybe, this Pig Latin like word for "fake" basically anything thats not real in the past "breaking kayfabe" as it was called would nearly get you killed.

knockout-like boxing matches, wrestling matches could end by knockout.

Legit-anything that isnt kayfabe. angle is a legit gold medalist.

mark- Taken from the word  for a cons victim, a mark is a fan that thinks wrestling is real. they are generally looked down by smarks and wrestlers alike(called dumbs in Britain)

to mark out-to cheer wildly.

the Montreal screwjob this match that changed the monday night wars.the betrayal of bret hart in this home country of Canada. hbk put hart in harts own finisher the ref called a non-existant submisssion. Hart spat vince. canadian wrestler left in droves and the bell centre was burned down by angry fans.

muta scale-a scale made by smarks in tribute to the loss of blood suffered by the great muta in 1994 by Hase  it starts at0.0 mutas and ends at1.0 mutas (also called flair scale, Foley scale or Helmsly scale

near-fall-a two count

over-an emotional reponse to a wrestler.

promo-an interview by a westler to promote himself ,a match hes in and  the event its in.

put over-when a wrestler either says postive things for another wrestler or have a great match with him.

Psychology-simply put the the emotional input of everyone involved in a match.

Push-when a wrestler is raised by a win. (Christian recent match with Yoshitastu helped push him.)

Rest hold-submissions that let the user gain his breath and composure(sleepers)

Rib-pratical jokes

screwjob-an unrehearsed finish to a match. compare swerve.

sell-to convince the audience that certain moves are painfull

Signature-moves that get 2-counts

Smark-a smart mark or simply smart is a fan that loves wresting but knows its pre-ordained. they usually know much about the inner-workings of wrestling. compare mark

Sports Entertainment-the term coined by vince macmahon to call his product its safe to say that bullshit acting and plugging merch comes first than wrestling.

spot-a move that used does little to no damage but is aesthetically pleasing (examples, undertakers old school, etc)

squash-to beat an opponent without resistance from him/her

stable-a group of wrestlers with the same manager or modus operandi, (Heenen Family, Main Event Mafia,N.W.O)

Swerve-a planned double-cross.

Shoot-to do something or say something in a way that kayfabe is broken.Wrestlers calling 3d Dudleys

Turn-to change from heel to face or vise versa.
-soft turn a change that is seen for miles of (Bastista)
-Hard turn: a less believable turn(rhino had to flip-off fans for them to boo him)

Work-Any part of wrestling that is fake or the business side to wrestling.

wrestler's court-there is code of conduct and hierarchy in the world of wrestling.Crimes included ribbing a main eventer.

next is part 2 jobs in wrestling

Bragging rights results

Live from the city that gave us the greatest wrestler in the modern era, Kurt Angle we are in Pittsburg.
Lets get it started!

Video package about the 7-7 match. the winners get a trophy. would it not make sense to give them numbers 24-30 AT THE RUMBLE!?

SMACKDOWN VS RAW MATCH
THE MIZ VS JOHN MORRISON

a nice tie up to start this match-up.john is schooling Miz. this crowd hates the miz. he goes for a reality check countered into moonlight drive countered. we get a look at the trophy in side is blue the other is red that is one ugly-ass trophy! kicks exchanged. then the Flying Chuck followed by a Corkscrew Plancha. miz drop john of the the ropes for...the...win?
WINNNER: THE...MIZ?
BULLSHIT!

we get a video package of the tag match on smackdown. nobodys out. People held down by hunter in

Backstage Boring calls R-truth a "second rate wrestler"

SEGUE TIME!
POT: HEY KETTLE! YOUR BLACK!
KETTLE:DONT PLAYER HATE SNOWFLAKE!*
*(with apoligies to Blacks everywhere)

DIVAS 6-TAG MATCH
MicHHHelle McCool, Beth Phionex and Natalya Neidhart Vs Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim and Melina Perez
MicHHHelle comes out in a black druid Robe in a cross on the back. Yeah thats Subtle! gail is mnisused in WWE and Kelly could sell a move to save her life. and boy does this match sucks! i've took out my Diveer Reader. to read Kelly mind and see says
"i need a tag. i dont think i could do a headscissor for 15 minutes and two kicks anymore. all women in .Melina tries to Perform her Last call 3 (it needs its own name!) but beth counters into Glam Slam.
Winners Smackdown!

Backstage:hunter says that he will replace anyone with the first person he sees.hornswoggle is chased out

Step up by Maylene and the sons of Disaster is or theme song tonight. i like it!

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT 4-WAY MATCH
UNDERTAKER(c) VS CM PUNK VS REY MYSTERIO VS BATISTA
Formal intros Shitista booed,Rey cheered,Punk LOUDLY BBOED,Taker LOUDLY CHEERED!

Punk starts this of with cheap shots. punked on the outside Rey hits a Seated senton. back in Punk hits a Superplex on the champ. Rey hits a huracanrana,countered into a Last Ride, Spear! into ropes 619 gets 2. Spinebuster gets 2. punk back in Go To Sleep gets 2.dave pins but Hells gates locked in.Punk saves Dave!
Last ride after Pepsi one. boo-yay spot with taker vs Shitista.Chokeslam gets 2 Tombstone countered into bastista bomb Rey gets the pin.
Bastista is angry with rey throw in out
Double clothes line
taker rises up Tombstone
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION:UNDERTAKER

AFTERMAT(C)H: MYSTERIO AND BASTISTA
Rey congratulates,taker helps bastista up defends everyman for himself rule of 4-ways.but DAVE goes nuh-uh bitch! and clotheslines the fuck out of oscar.

YAY! NOW ITS COOL TO HATE DAVE!

SMACKDOWN VS RAW 7-7 MATCH
RAW(HHH,SHAWN MICHAELS,BIG SHOW,BORING RHODES,JACK SWAGGER AND MARK HENRY) VS SMACKDOWN( CHRIS JERICHO, KANE,MATT HARDY,FINLAY,R-TRUTH,TYSON KIDD AND HARRY SMITH)
Okay team raw is wearing raw shirts and team smackdown is wearing smackdown shirts .you all know whats going down someone is going to betray the brand. Hardy pulls the shirt of swagger so swagger is going to betray raw and triple h is wearing a shit at all. i wonder...Finlay in with hbk. if there was ever a dream match int would be this.Sweet Chin Music but finlay made the tag to the Harts and go for the Hart attack tag Jericho in and chokes out shawn with shirt Dahm i thought Jericho was the traitor. smith in Saito Suplex gets two. tag to Kidd Springboard elbow Misses. hhh 3 spinebuster after each other stacking finlay,smith and kidd. Boom drop by kofi recersed into walls of jericho. everyone in for some Mayhem. Big show tells kofi that he will double team in a Rocket Laucher but instead Chokeslam! bif show is the traitor!
WINNERS TEAM SMACKDOWN: 4/5 THEY ARE THE BEST ON WWE THE SHOW WITH NO JOHN CENA!

after package for orton vs cena fued that started when they were babies, backstage boring blames kofi for losing the match for them ok
1 being swerved is not an excuse to blame for a loss
2 you werent even tag in offically boring if you were i would have pass out by your presence ofyou anti-charisma or as Pratchett calls it Charis'ntma.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP IRON MAN MATCH!
John FUCKING Cena vs Randy Orton
Orton 5 wins
Cena 6 wins
WINEER AND NEW WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA

OVERALL: DAHM I'M GOOD! I PREDICT EVERY WIN AT BRASGGING RIGHTS. I WAS SO HAPPY WITH THE EVENT AFTER HAVING MIZ BEAT MORRISION THAT IS. BUT I/M SO GLAD THAT SMACKDOWN WON THE MATCH AND THAT FUCKING CENA DOES HAVE TO RUIN FRIDAY NIGHTS!

THUMBS UP SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFSTOP SMACKDOWN WON!

Ok so that it! Join me on friday for a scary top 10 at bogger box office.scarier that whats in joe-jacks wellies

BOUND FOR GLORY

OKAY JUST A QUICKIE! because i slept threw the main events and its ruin the feel of the post if i do play by play of just the other matches.

Red retains x division championship in a thrilling opener

Taylorita (Taylor wilde and sarita) beat the beuatiful people 2.0 in a borefest

eric young defeated nash and hernandez is a compentent effort

3d becomes IWGP tag champs and british invasion trade up to tna tag champs in a great tag match always (booker t was seriously injured. beer money also competed)

odb beats kong and tara to retain knockout womens title and the medriocity continues!

Abyss proved himself more than a rip-off against the original mick foley in a brutal(thats in a good way!) Monsters ball!

Matt morgan defeats kurt angle (spits out drink!) yeah it unbelievable and (i kind of )watched it!

YOU THAY YOURNAME IS  JOE AND YOUR THAMOAN, WELL I SAY FOR NAME IS JOE ....AND YOUR A BATHURD!

AJ RETAINS THE TNA TITLE
STING MUST NOW RETIRE.
AFTER THE MATCH STING GAVE A PASSIONATE SPEECH TO A STANDING OVATION

PHEW GLAD THATS DONE AND ON MONDAY ILL DO IT AGAIN FOR WWE BRAGGING RIGHTS!

bragging rights update

Vince must have listened to us, because they have changed team smackdown.

7-7 SMACKDOWN VS RAW TAG MATCH
TEAM RAW

• HHH
• shawn michaels
• Jack Swagger
• Boring Rhodes
• big show
• Kofi kingston
• Mark henry

vs Smackdown

• Chris jericho
• kane
• replacing dolph ziggler-finlay
• replacing shad gaspard-Harry smith
• replacing JTG-Tyson kidd
• replacing Eric Escobar-matt hardy
• replacing drew McIntyre-R-truth

NOW ITS A FAIR FIGHT!
Money on Smackdown, Jerishow splits up drops the belts to either Harts or (sigh) DX  on raw or smackdown.

Bragging right predictions

god this month is killing me!

i have bound for glory results on wednesday,this for monday and a top 10 on bogger box office to do halloween week!

still i do this for you the faithful readers,

ok lets get this prediction started

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP IRON MAN MATCH
John FUCKING Cena vs Randy Orton(yes AGAIN!)
this will be the first ever 1:15minutes iron man match with 15 minutes thrown in for Ortons ring-walk!
money on: since they are advertising cena and dx vs legacy for Raw is London, strongly doubt cena is leaving raw!

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 4-WAY
Undertaker vs Rey mysterio vs DAVE Bastista vs C M punk
Money on: Dave to turn into a jackass...well on camera as well as in real life...by turning on Oscar!

SMACKDOWN VS RAW MATCH
John morrison vs THAT GOBSHITE CALLED THE MIZ
money on: Morrison

SMACKDOWN VS RAW DIVA MATCH
RAW FACE DIVAS VS SMACKDOWN HEEL DIVAS
oh a divas tag match oh we dont see that every  week on Raw(!)
money on:who cares?

7on7 smackdown vs raw match
Team raw:

• Triple H
• Shawn Micheals
• Jack swagger
• Kofi kingston
• Boring Rhodes
• big show
• and mark henry

vs team smackdown:

• Chris Jericho
• kane
• Dolph Ziggler
• JTG
• Shad Gaspard
• Eric ESSSSSS-CO-BAR!
• and Drew Mcintyre

money on:
so vince you are telling me that finlay knox the harts and r-truth are not good enough for team smackdown but 2 BLACK STEREOTYPES, A MALE CHEERLEADER, VICKIES BOYFRIEND AND A COMPLETE UNKNOWN FROM SCOTLAND ARE THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?

RAW TO WIN BECAUSE ITS VINCE'S BABY!

so thats it i'll be happy to see the end of this month. join me on thursday for bound for glory and ad-break thoughts.

tna Bound for Glory predictions for wednesday

i'd appreieatte everyone not giving me results until Wednesday

all matches in title importance

TNA WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP
TITLE VS RETIREMENT
AJ STYLES VS STING
Money on: sting retiring

LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP 3-WAY MATCH
KEVIN NASH VS HERNANDEZ VS ERIC YOUNG
Money on :Young (no, really!)

X DIVISION 5-WAY MATCH
AMAZING RED VS SUICIDAY VS THE BLACK POPE VS HOMICIDE VS DANIELS
Money on: Pope
Wishful thinking:hit someone over the head with a tambourine! the crowd loves it!

TNA TAG AND IWGP TAG BELTS 2 FALL MATCH
(1ST FALL-TNA)
(2ND FALL-IWGP)
FULL METAL MAYHEM(TLC) MATCH
BEER MONEY VS MAFIA VS BRITISH INVASION
Money on: first fall Beer money to win
second fall bristish invasion to retain

KNOCKOUT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ODB VS KONG VS TARA
Money on:Kong

KNOCKOUT TAG CHAMPIONSHIP
TAYLORITA VS THE BEUATIFUL PEOPLE VERSION 2.0
Money On: BP v 2.0

TNA VS MMA
SAMOA JOE VS BOBBY "2 PAY CHECKS" LASHLEY
WINNER: Lashley

MONSTERS BALL HARDCORE EXTREME!
ABYSS VS MICK FOLEY
Money on: this will be a proving ground for abyss. but id have to give it to the master foley

there is also word that there will be an appearance of a certain bleach blonde injurny feigning piece-of -shit  from Green bay at BFG-Yay! looks like i was right about the big money contracts for wwes scraps

will have results thursday
dont tell me results before wednesday!

7 DIVAS TRADE MY THOUGHT

this week a trade of 7 divas took place on raw and i want to share my thoughts of it

RAW

Melina Perez to Raw is Diva champion
YES-I think Melina is a fantastic worker and i think she can elevate Jillian from a crap gimmick to a serious Worker

Bella Twins to Raw
NO-exactly what are the twins payed to do? wrestle? ring announce? valet? IT WOULD HELP IF YOU WERE GOOD AT DOING ONE OF THESE THINGS! plus the novelty of twins has worn of.

Eve torres
YES-Greatly improved in the ring when she hit that moonsault and won I marked out in lines of:

OH MY GOD A MODEL THAT CAME IN KNOWING JACK ABOUT WRESTLING WON A WRESTLING MATCH WITH A HARD WRESTLING MOVE! THEY FINALLY BROKE THROUGH TO THESE BIMBOS!

SMACKDOWN

Mickie james
YES-MicHHHelle McCool is getting to big for her Phenom Phucking boots. so mickie will kick her ass!

Beth Phionex
SEE ABOVE

ECW
ROSA "no dinner" Mendez
YES-THIS WOMEN NEEDS MORE WORK! (and i dont mean Gastric Surgery!-BOOM BOOM)
I saw the Diva Bowl match (which i am embarrased to say i did) and in the spotfest where everyone hits finishers. Mendez hits...A SIDE SLAM!

Really?

WHAT IS THIS THE FUCKING 80S?
 i think her finish should be like a Sub-zero fatality except of covering people in frost she should cover people in puke-cement(i'm not kidding) then smash them with a hi-kick! she'll be shitcanned before the year is out i think!

ozzy osbourne to host raw next month snoop dog to host next week

as you know i dont like rap music at all. mainly because i dont like hearing about the amount of hos someone "macked" (i think thats the word) or how much money they make. but in america and not ireland(sorry big things popping i know you read this) snoopy poopy doggie dog (or what every his name is!) is a big star i sure he will have a GLACK ON A POLE MATCH or rename the women belt as the bitches belt.

but next month is going to be OZZY FUCKING OSBOURNE HOSTING RAW FINALLY SOMEONE THAT THE WORLD KNOWS AS A CELEBRITY

not some footballer
not some basketball
not some idiot from access hollywood

THE Prince of darkness ozzy osbourne. lets hope he curses so much that they give up on the pg-13 bullshit!

the flippies 2009

Okay i know the blog is only up for 10 months but im going to do an awards post of the best of worst of pop culture. i havent thought of the catergories yet but when i do i'll let you know i will post you comment and i will tally the votes at the end

Hell in a cell results

Live from new jersey! Lets get this train rolling

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
C.M. PUNK VS UNDERTAKER HELL IN A CELL
Formal intros Taker loudly cheered, Punk loudly booed!
Punk is whooped around the cage early. but Punk fights dirty and crowd hates him for that! punk takes out taker but butts his head on the cell! chokeslam countered into Go To Sleep into tombstone into a chopblock. this leads to chairs. last ride gets a two . Old school gets countered into an STO! but chokeslam and tombstone for the win!
WINNER AND NEW WORLDS CHAMPION! UNDERTAKER
taker leaves the ring limping.

Bragging rights seem to be a Smackdown vs raw ppv but not ecw Because Vince doesnt give a shit!

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!
JOHN MORRISON VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
NON CELL MATCH
good wrestling exchange to start of followed by dolph ducking a punch "no not the face"
Mr Ziggles chant to ziggler imagine if he had a worst name like Spirit squad Nicky! who would go by a name like that! oh! anyway a starship pain is dodged following up with roll-ups shot halves jack-knifes banana spilts and other pins. Re-Todd is getting on my nerves! Fame-asser than Zigzag in the ropes! Starship pain ends this match.
winner and still champion:morrison

BACKSTAGE:OSCAR AND DAVE!
This is how vince punishes his wrestler for drugs give them title matches he is a real bastard that vince! burn the witch!

they have 4 eejits dressed as the turtles for a promotion for the crap looking game

mickie james defeats fox

JERICHO BEATS rey myssterio and Shitista!

cena loses title so this fued will be the end of me!
 macintre beats r-truth
kofi retains
dx beats Legacy

OVERALL:WHY? WHY? WHY UNDER LAST CHANCE RULES HAVE THE HEEL WIN? WHY? HAVE TAKER CURTAIN JERKING? WHY NOT HAVE MID CARD CELLS? WHY CANT YOU GIVE NEW WRESTLERS AN INTERVIEW FOR THEIR CARECTOR? WHY GIVE SUSPENDED SUPERSTARS TITLE SHOTS? WHY PUT IN A MATCH THAT WOULD BE BETTER ON SMACKDOWN? WHY PUT A NON-TITLE MATCH AS THE MAIN EVENT?

okay there was nothing wrong with the matches just the booking made no sense.

THUMBS UP FOR THE MATCHES
THUMBS DOWN FOR PRESENTATION!

so thats it! i hope you join me again for tnas answer to wrestlemania Bound for glory i may finish welcome to the mindfuck for hallowe'en and Joe-jacks moonshine is turning people into zombies in night of the living braindead this halloween week at bogger box office. he will also share his top 10 scariest moments in between filling zombies full of lead!

this is the enlightened one saying keep on keeping on!

hell in a cell update!

new match added for tonight!

NON-CELL MATCH
R-truth vs Drew McIntyre
Money on: Mcintyre

see you tomorrow!

and because of pay per view i wont be doing a bogger box office this monday it will be next monday!

Hell in a cell clarification

sorry i forgot 2 matches! again in title importance

TAG CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
JERI-SHOW VS BASTISTA AND REY MYSTERIO (NON-CELL MATCH ?)
money on: Oscar and Dave!

Hell in a cell match
Dx vs ORTON'S BITCHES LEGACY
Money on: what do you think?

thats it i hope, for now!

wwe Hell in a cell predictions

(all matches in title importance)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
LAST CHANCE HELL IN A CELL MATCH
 john FUCKING Cena vs Randy FUCKING Orton (AGAIN!)
if orton loses he will not have another shot at the title.
money on: Cena so we dont have to see this fucking match next month!

World heavyweight championship
Hell in a cell
C.M. Punk vs Undertaker
money on:'Taker
Wishful thinking run-in and reveal the next victim of the streak!

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
(NON-CELL)
John Morrision vs Dolph Ziggler
Money on: a great match! dont care who wins
Wishful thinking:Please dont have the crowd chant "mr Ziggles"

US CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT
(NON-CELL)
Kofi Kingston vs Jack Swagger vs The Miz
Money on: Kofis had the belt for a while now so it will change hands...to Swagger! but NEVER to A GOBSHITE FROM A MUSIC STATION THAT DOES NOT PLAY FUCKING MUSIC!

DIVA'S (TOY WOMEN'S) BELT (NON CELL)
(YEAH DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE A CELL MATCH?)
Mickie james vs "Anyomious" Alicia fox
Money on: Fox, so she can get a backstage interview and a backstory we know nothing about her!
is she a heel? is she a face? Was she in toe with La famila all the long? where is Gabriel? what is her motivation for challenging james? what? GOOD GOD WHAT?

SO THATS IT! COME BACK MONDAY FOR THE RESULTS AND DONT FORGET FINALLY THE ROCK WILL COME BACK TO SMACKDOWN!

No surrender results

live from-Forget It!

Tna knockout tag team championship
TAYLOR WILDE AND SARITA VERSION THE BEUATIFUL PEOPLE
as everyone knows by now Love was in the states illegaly and faces a 10 year ban from usa. so Rayne and sky are reunited. i have to say velvet is hot! And Gregory helms dumped that? what is he blind? there is lots a tag in and out. finish is Taylor German suplexing Job-girl Rayne

Winner Taylorita

Ad break:Up looks stupid even for a kids film

Taylorita celebrate in the back. sarita says something in spanish

Eric young vs Hernandez
Eric is interviewed and he is not in his wrestling gear i smell squash
the bell rang...and the bell rang!
winner hernadez
again a squash match just like last month who is booking this oh yeah russo!

Backstage Matt Morgan
BLAH BLAH DNA BLAH BLAH title BLAH BLAH Future BLAH BLAH BLAH!

TNA X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
DANIELS VS SAMOA JOE
....vs ads!

Ad Break:6am Mcdonalds where you can shout at foriegners for fucking up your order first thing in the morning.

where back! and it starts with a tope to the outside back in a neckbreacker gets two for the fallen angel. Crossbody gets countered in a urunage by Joe followed by a....nerve pinch! way to break that stereotype Joe(!)
Power slam by joe. but daniels fight by with a flurry of offense a bulldog gullitine legdrop follow by a split moonsault. Taz calls Joe the Samoan possum. Beuatiful roll through into an ankle bar. followed by a cross-face. Remember C***s B****t! Diamond cutter by Daniels for momentum! cross body hits this time. joe hits a half nelson suplex. chris hits a S.T.O BUT JOE COUNTERS INTO Muscle buster into the angel wings into the Joe-mission!
winner and still x division champion! joe

Ad Break: KANYE WEST IS A GAY FISH!

Fall count anywhere match
THE BLACK POPE ELIJAH BURKE VS "SUICIDAY"
Suicide Attacks burke backstage
suicide into the wall. followed by suicide elbow drop to burke.head bang on the table.follow by a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCK BODY DROP! into dumpster.Elijah steals a golf cart(way to break the stereo...etc) Burke sets(up) a table and end comes when sucide misses a legdrop and burke pins him
WINNER:THE BLACK POPE ELIJAH BURKE! great match but lose point for the finish 3/5

ad break:I'M NOT 25% AUSTRALIAN! BUT I DO LIKE BARBEQUE AND SHIT SOAPS!

odb vs Cody Deaner
winner odb 1/5
ad break:are the M Burger suppose to look that tiny!

TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP $50,000 Dollar Match
Abyss vs Kevin Nash(C)
Foley out ringside
ad break: what is the big deal about Halo?

there is general hosiness abyss is distracted and jackknife after a tazer shot
Winner Nash!
Ad Break:Real Italian Pizza! Made in Germany

Lockdown
BEER....MONEY! AND 3D VS Mafia and BRITISH INVASION
ENTRANT 1 WILLIAMS
ENTRANT 2 JAMES STORM
ENTRANT 3 MR SKY TV BRUTUS MAGNUS
ENTRANT 4 ROODE
ENTRANT 5 STEINER
ENTRANT 6 DEVON
ENTRANT 7 BOOKER
ENTRANT 8 BUBBA
DOUBLE SUPLEX ON THE ROOF! END COMES BY WAY OF DWI
WINNERS 3D AND BEER MONEY
RATING 6/5 YEAH DAT GOOD!

ad break: no didnt meet my husband at my dating servce i met him through friends like normal people!

backstage rhino
real man dont do mma real men wrestle

RHINO VERSUS BOBBY "TWO PAYCHECKS" LASHLEY
YOU THAY YOUR NAME IS RHINO AND YOUR A WAR MACHINE I  SAY YOUR NAME IS RHINO....AND YOUR A BATHURD!

ad break thoughts: CSI IS AWESOME

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
AJ STYLES VS MATT MORGAN VS STING VS ANGLE VS HERNANDEZ
WINNER STYLES AS FANS AND CONFETTI FLOOD THE RING ANGLE IS HELPED OUT LOOKING DEJECTED

OVERALL: quite the mixed bag!great good and crap but there was something for everyone tonight. one the basis of lockdown and styles back on top THUMBS UP!

winter schedule

all events subject to change

Thursday 24 september-No surrender
1st monday of october-Bogger box office Gamer or Meatballs!
october-hell in a cell
halloween-bogger box office special: nioght of da livin' brain-dead: top 11 scary filliums!
1st monday of november-Bogger box office review
November Bound for glory
November-surivor series
December-mock the week: things you dont want to hear at christmas!
December-bogger box office special its a Kulchie Kinda Khristmas!
December-TLC PPV
December-top 10 christmas repeats worth repeating
(not including any rants i may have)

Breaking point results

13/09/09

BREAKING POINT FROM MONTREAL,QUEBEC, CANADA
So expect HBK to be booed!

Jeri-Show vs Mvp and Mark henry
the last time he was here jericho hit a fan for getting up in his face. so they are booing him.

both mark henry and mvp have mods on there red jumpsuit so they look the same!
so i guess they are a team with matching suits? its jericho vs mvp after a hesitant start i have to say the quality of the live feed sucks! it looks like im watching a speaker-phone.the two useless heaps big men tag in. Big show is over in canada. henry lifts show of his feet. its leads to a double clothesline and tag. quick offence by porter leading to the Ballin' Elbow. Jericho hits the walls but mizark makes the blind tag
this leads to a massive spear by show to mvp. Jericho tries for a snap but mvp LANDS ON HIS FEET WOW! big show hits Knockout punch
Winners: Jeri-show 2/5

Backstage:ORTON'S BITCHES Legacy
i swere if i didnt know my wrestling i would thought that cody was the Gay Brother

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSIP
Kofi Kingston vs the miz
They scrapped Ziggler vs Morrision for this?
winner Kofi 3/5

the offical theme is Unbroken by lynard Skinard. FREEEEBIRD!

Sumission count anywhere
dx vs ORTON'S BITCHES LEGACY
The crowd chanted You screwed bret at Michaels.HHH said it was all hbks fault that got a huge pop from the crowd.Legacys theme sucks i rather listen to baby trying to outcry a smoke alarm.Hbk and Boring fight in the crowd and in the stalls HHH at one instance used the crossface which got an angry reaction from the crowd.next DiBiasie is put through a catering table food fight.in the end Legacy hit a upside figure four to win
WINNER:LEGACY(NO REALLY)
Backstage and orton has an awesome promo as the rarely seen crazy orton. Better than one-syll-a-ble-at-a-time Orton

NEXT MONTH HELL IN A CELL WHERE EVERYMATCH (you should care about ) is a hell in a cell!
KANE KANED KHALI
POINTLESS! 0/5

BACKSTAGE:CM PUNK
PUNK beats up hardy for his arrest and Jimmy wang flickers the light for a rib and gets whoops in his ribs!

ECW CHAMPIONSHIP RETAINED 3/5

Pat patterson come out for some reason! this brings out Ziggler who calls patterson a QQQ-dont do it,COWARD(oh thank god!)and Ziggler kicks patterson in the guts! this brings Morrison out!

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
John FUCKING Cena vs Randy orton i quit match
im going to enjoy this!
Cena misses a shoulder tackle and flies out the ring like an idiot!
orton whales in with monitors handcuffs and kendos cena eventually get free uses the STFU (THATS SUBMISSION THATS FUCKING USELESS) FOR THE WIN

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION:FUCKING CENA
lets just hope there is no rematch in 3 weeks
4/5 because Cena had his ass kicked!


UNDERTAKER VS CM PUNK
Punk audibly said canada sucks! Fight outside to start this off Chairshot to Taker its all taker so far Old school followed by CHOKE SLAM BUT Punk hits a stiff Roundhouse but taker slaps on hells gate
WINNER AND NEW WORLDS CHAMPION: THE UNDERT-
WAIT A MINUTE!
teddy long came out and said that vickies bannd on the hells gate still stands and this match continues
Punk his anaconda vice the ref calls for the bell but taker didnt tap!
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION :C.M PUNK
OH MY GOD! VINCE DID IT AGAIN IN MONTREAL A SECOND SCREWJOB!

OVERALL: A SECOND SCREWJOB!!!!???!!??
WHAT A DISAPOINTING SHOW IT DIDNT DELIVER AT ALL! THUMBS DOWN!

Breaking point update

one more match added

United states championship
Kofi kingston vs (sigh) THAT GUY FROM MT-FUCKING-V!
Money: the wrestler to win the wrestling match, not the douche looking for 15 minutes!

why tna is the future of wrestling part 3

the top 11 best of the roster much like the wwe best on the roster.

11. mick foley
there is noting more i can say about foley that you dont know all ready. just keep the humour to a minimum.

10.doug williams
the anarcist is a 20 year vet one of the best finishers in the planet that is cool to say CHAOS THEORY!

9.BEER....MONEY!
For a mashup team at a tournament to one of the most consisent teams on the the roster a shining example of the tag teams strentgh!

8. Eric young
from chicken suit, superheros and falling over himself! its about time he grow some balls!

7.kyoishi
just needs some more tv time

6. Odb
finally won the "knocked-up" championship but needs to lose cody deaner.

5. Rhyno
is a heel because he hit the jobber he was training? how does that work anyway he may join the main event mafia

4.sting
a sting vs aj styles retirement match maybe in the works. that will be a fantasic match

3.taz
i dont think he came just commentate he may lace up the boots once last time!

2 shiek bashir
 you hear his comments on the war last week as he asked who is the real terorist and crowd chanted usa he said yes it is you! brilliant!

1 daniels
just a main event waiting to happen!

Breaking point predictions

with only 6 matches on the card and the show on SUNDAY, expect these matches to be stretch out or new matches added as you know by now all matches in order of importance.

wwe championship
John cena(again) vs Randy orton (again) in an i quit match(AGAIN!!!!)
Money on: cena because a Submission Thats Fucking USELESS is still a Submission!

World heavyweight title
Submission match
C.M. Punk vs Undertaker
Money on:Punk wins,count-out OR DQ...i just dont see 'taker winning and a long fued

Ecw championship
Christian vs William Regal
Money on: PLEASE VINCE, GIVE REGAL ONE WORLDS TITLE REIGN PLEASE!!!

Unified Tag Team championship
Jeri-show vs MVP and Mark henry
money on: Jerishow

dx vs ORTON'S BITCHES LEGACY
submissions count anywhere match
money on: Dibiase turning on Boring

The Great Khali vs Kane
Singapore cane match
money on:Khali

so thats it i'm sure to update you if anymore matches are made most likely a kofi vs swagger vs THAT GUY FROM MTV or a Ziggler vs Morrison match or a Mickie vs Useless SKANK or MicHHHelle vs Melina
 even if there is a womens match its going to be a non submission match even though it is billed as a all submission show.
 whats next all the matches at october's Hell in a Cell show are not all Hell in a cell
That would be stupid considering that tna has and all cage ppv called lockdown and even they're women get down in the cage.

wwe should up their game
all of wwe. wrestlers,divas, managers, writers all of them.
they arent going to win this war this time.

WHY TNA IS THE FUTURE OF WRESTLING PART 2

PART 2 AJ STYLES

everytime i turn on the tv and tna is on as soon as styles makes his entrance from the first chord of his music the crowd goes apeshit!

and why is styles a main-eventer in tna?

simply put: because he wouldnt be in wwe.

i'm serious.

Vince Macmahon only books wrestlers that he likes the look of, to the point of shoving them down our throats. Hulk hogan,test, bobby lashly amd brock lesner where big names in wwe because vince likes the men with muscalar physiques.

even is they can wrestle or not cough*Cena*cough

one thing i have to say though. i just saw everyones favourite injury-feigning jackass MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR .....Anderson(yeah i know it doesnt sound right) playing a computer game with a dog....and the dog was winning!!!!
i mean i said i have a lot of free time, but first flopping in ring,making a crappy film and now playing computer games with a jack russell?
oh with all that important stuff he barely has enough time for wrestling(!) you know the thing that the fans who wanted you to come back from injury....AGAIN!...BECAUSE THEY ONCE BELIEVED IN YOU!
(deep Breath)
ok i'm going to lie down now!
good post though

why tna is the future of wrestling part 1

Part 1-Kurt Angle

if you havent heard angle was arrested last month. but that doesnt diminish the fact that Angle is the greatest wrestler of all time.

the former legitatmite gold medalist is the 3rd man is WWE history to hold the grand slam 1 of 4 the other 3 being shawn micheals,hhh, and Ch**s B****t (you know who it is, but wwe doesnt want you to know or remember so they bleep his name)

angle has gained the respect of wwe even after he left
how can you tell
if you buy the self made propagranda that is WWE magazine, you would know that the editors make fun of former superstars that are now in TNA. for instance, they called Gail Kim when she left a Paper champion (it was they're fault they booked her, an Asian-Canadian as a Korean Stereotype) and called Terry"Rhyno" Gerin, a now reformed alcoholic a "jug-head!"
but Angle is shown in a good light being the subject to many dream matches.

next time i will talk about wrestlings best kept secret, A. J. styles

profile on Joe-jack

name: JOE-JACK
From: Butt-crack county cavan
occupation: turf farmer
age: 45 and a half!
martial status: lives with mammy!
hobbies: watching filliums,GAA, line-dancing,faking crop circles wif me tractor to bring in tourists, going ons with sheep
favourite film: angelas ashes
favourite music: i likes both kinds, country and irish
hates: Townies multiply like rabbits they do!

introducing a seperate blog

during my results of hard justice post(great show by the way) i mentioned some-one called Joe-Jack and that i had something special planned. well i'm doing a second blog of reviews of terrible films called Bogger Box Office! so Joe-jack is yes a carector i created my first review will be tonight of Dance flick so enjoy because i wont!

why tna is the future of wrestling preveiw

ok considering i spent most of last month trashing the wwe, i am going to start on a 4 parter describing Total non-stop Action Wrestling or TNA. most of you would not have heard of tna but it is the number 2 promotion in the world. i first saw tna 2 years ago on Bravo when it was really a rip off of wwe gimmicks so i thought it sucked. i thought it would never get off the ground.

then the terrible happened.
something you bad i can only sum it up in 3 words
VINCE.
BASTARDIZED.
ECW!

with ecw originals jobbing to new talent, vampires, teachers, and dance numbers. out of frustrastion i turn over to tna hoping to get at least one wrestling match while kelly layla and the one that got fired are shaking their ass to the rhytmn of booing real fans.
ok 1-5-3

IT WAS LIKE AN OUTERBODY EXPEIRIENCE! A VISION OF UTOPIA!
i see when known wrestlers that left wwe fighting up and comer wrestlers that were never in wwe unlike wwe the so called nobody won. i see technical matchs and i see hardcore matches of great quality. so good i WOULD SWEAR I WAS WATCHING THE ORIGINAL ECW! i see tag matches and a tag division that RESPECT THE TAG BELT! and get this i see A womens division that CAN WRESTLE AND TELL STORIES
SORRY VINCE THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME ON SKY SPORTS
I VE CROSSED THE LINE!

worst chat up lines

its been a while since ive done this so heres another mock the week scence we like to see

• i collect phone numbers, can i have yours?
• you dont sweat much for a fat one!
• hi i'm Dick Hammerbush and this my friend, Pat McGroin!
• i've a wooden leg! guess which one! (this was used on me-eamonn!)
• what can i get for 10 euro?
• are you going to eat that?
• INTERCOURSE! I WANT TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH YOU!(from American Dad)

summerslam results (quickie)

rey mysterio bet Dolph ziggler in an exciting opener

mvp bet Jack Swagger in a wrestling masterclass

Jeri-show bet cryme tyme in match where crime time looked great!

kane bet Khali in a boring match

dx bet legacy in a dull match

Christian met william regal in less than a minute

orton retained in a match with 3 restarts. Garcia fucked up the annoucement and ab-libbed to the the best of her ability into a no dq match

Cm punk won the worlds championship in a wild and unpredictable tlc match after the lights flickered and gong was played. Hardy was replaced by Undertaker who chokeslammed the champ. Taker is back!

notes
Aerosmiths new album is called"Honkin' with Boyz". something Louis walsh could write a book about!

the "fan" that attacked the ring during orton vs cena is Bret DiBiasie the answer is yes by the way.

summerslam review

Okay so this my first post using the new post format lots of fancy new gimmick i will experiment with later.
we are 24 hours away from Summerslam (or Summerfest thanks to that fair-weather fan Jeremy"that guy from Entourage" Piven) i dont watch it. but remember the simpsons episode where homer becomes an opera singer, Lenny and carl for five minutes dress as Vinnys friends and pull some of homers groupies? that five minutes told me more about the plot than the series itself.

oh yeah. wrestling predictions in order of title importance.

WWE Championship
Randy orton(c) vs John FUCKING Cena
winner:WHO CARES ANYMORE!??!!!

World heavyweight championship-Tables,ladders and chairs(tlc)
Jeff hardy(c) vs Cm punk
winner:this will be jeff last ppv match so punk will win tonight or smackdown

ECW Championship
christian(c)vs William regal
money on: regal to finally become a world champion!

Intercontinental championship
Rey mysterio vs Dolph ziggler
money on:Ziggler
wishful thinking: if maria is ringside again, have her do something! ANYTHING!

Tag team championship
Cryme tyme vs Chris Jericho and Big show (c)
Money on: Cryme time

DX VS ORTON'S BITCHES  LEGACY
money on: expect some funny skit before or after the match and dx to win

Kane vs Khali
Money on: kane, with Runjin turning on khali. it could happen!

jack Swagger vs mvp
winner: swagger but only just

full results monday

HARD JUSTICE RESULTS!

Because its on bravo2 they will go to break every 15 minutes

promo package wait steven hawking is doing a voiceover for a wrestling show?

how did that conversation go
TNA:
heres you free tickets, dr. hawking
HAWKING:
thankyou i will cheer for beer money they are going to fuck people up!

STEEL ASYLUM MATCH
ALEX SHELLY VS CHRIS SABIN VS AMAZING RED VS CHRISTOPHER DANIELSVS JAY LETHAL VS CONSEQUENCES CREED VS SUICIDE VS "THE BLACK POPE" ELIJAH BURKE
Burke spent 3 minutes taking of his bling

AD BREAK THOUGHT: Why cant car ads say this is a car. Buy it !?

since this is a steel asylum match, the bars will obsure the action, as the crowd chants lets go pope, basically no actual wrestling just climbing around in this oversized jungle gym
suicide is in this match. and homicide is wrestling later. there should be a IRA gimmick called Regicide! sabin has daniels in a head lock and is polishing his head again i have to ask,
wtf?
okay creed was on a cover of a fag-mag, who knew Creed rode on the other bus?
with everyone on the cage now its time for some kick ass spots.
daniels starts by hitting a Fall from grace on the top rope
Sabin hits a towerana on 5 men followed by him teaming with shelley hitting a chaingang ddt followed by a tower plex attempt into a towerbomb!
FINISH HIM!
Shelly hits slice bread
creed hit gut buster
red hits RED-EYE
daniels hits rock bottom on burke
daniels climbs the hole
Winner: daniels
Abyss vs jethro holiday
abyss beats holiday with black hole slam
ad break thought we dont have White castle in Ireland
IWGP TAG CHAMPIONSHIP
beer money vs british invasion
rob terry lost his match to hernadez in lest than a minute
eric young is out for commentary he look like angle now. Brutus magnus (real name Nick adlis) should call himself mr sky tv. Hes on bravo, he was on gladiators on sky1, he has his own show on L.A. muscle this guy is everywhere! there is always at most wrestling show a bizarre fan in the audience tonight is no exception as there is a guy holding to salamis up in the air. There is a wanker chant to Doug williams. if that was in wwe all the Cena fans would ask mammy whats a wanker? end comes when young cause a distraction.
winners and still champion the british invasion
Ad break thought buy the rab c nesbitt box set

Knockout championship tag match
Odb and cody deaner vs the beuatiful people (c)
Deaners home town is called Buckshot? that makes Joe-jack's town of Buttcrack some less country who's Joe-jack? well lets just say i have something special planned!
anyway this just deaner chasing spanking and kiss all the member of the bp's.end comes when Madison inadvertently sprays velvet with mace
winners Cody deaner, and by proxy of his win,new knockout champion o.d.b
after the match deaner leaves with the womens belt and love and velvet turn on madison
AD BREAK THOUGHT: coming to cinemas soon! billy gates and the chocolate factory!

X Division championship match
Samoa joe vs homicide
this match is pretty one-sided, i think homicide may be out after this match. homicide taps to Taz-mission
Winner and new x division champion: Joe
AD BREAK THOUGHT: i surprised gary lineker isnt fat after eating all those Walkers!

Tag team championship match
Team 3d vs Scott Steiner and booker t
Booker cannot seem to take anything serious anymore its like the King booker gimmick in WWE rot his brain. if he is not dancing to the ring he is doing all these body-builder poses or pretending to golf! Ritalin please Nurse for mr Huffman!

Ad break thought: are the Churchill ads getting funnier OH YES!
Okay so this match is just a brawl and it end in controversial fashion as bubba pins booker and steiner pins devon on same time. to ref comfirm the video footage the did pin at the same time and right call is made
Draw and still tag team champions booker t and scott steiner
Ad break thought: 1 litre of mars chocolate milk. because coco pops arent bad enough on there own!

wwe legends championship
Kevin Nash vs mick foley

Nashs wrist is in a cast, maybe he injured it answering the phone! makes more sense than injuring his quad that way hhh!
foley comes out and this is going to be great. i'm going out on a limb and going to say

ITS ON, MOTHERFUCKA!!!

THIS MATCH IS HARDCORE a fight on the outside and foley is bleeding a lot from his right eye
he ends this one looking like Two-face with a beard, but foley believes in sharing the pain so nash is also busted open and to sent this home blood splatters the len of a camera with every mounted punch to foley, foley gets out his barbed wire bat but Tracey runs from the back to distract foley. nash pins
winner and new Legends champion: kevin "in it for the" Cash!
Nash get the barbed bat but out comes abyss with one of his own, foley is up but seems to be holding that eye ball in place.
Ad break time for hot chocolate for i'll never get to sleep!
THREE WAY MATCH FOR THE WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP
STING VS MATT MORGAN VS KURT ANGLE
Matt morgans wife is sitting in the audience please tna dont do 1 of these two scenarios
1) give morgan the title for a "Rocky" moment
2)have morgans wife manage her husband to the point he gets a rep for being an unprofessional prick! (i'm talking to you, Booker and Sharmell)

Ad break thought: yeah i dont like reversing lorries either

formal intros Morgan booed Sting cheered, Angle LOUDLY BOOED!
Morgan goes to the outside and gets a kiss for luck from his wife this gets an aww from the audience. the Crowd gets on Angle's case with a you got Arrested chant. angle will be serving 2 months communnity service. Sting is lifted into sidewalk slam by Morgan but instead of performing the move correctly be just drops the icon painfully. what a Jackass!
angle seems to be hurt wil be drop the belt because of the arrest no angle is playing possum! he pins morgan
Winner and still champion angle
ARREST OR NO ARREST, IF YOU WANT TO BEAT ANGLE FOR THE TITLE YOU'D HAVE TO KILL HIM!
OVERALL: Ok so it was an almost clean sweep for the heels with the knockout championship not belong to the main event mafia or world elite camps. the terry/hernadez match was pointless, but the legend match was a great bloody(literally!) match, with angle being profressional despite sunday mornings arrest!
so i'll say thumbs up!

why wwe sucks today part 4

PART 4 THE WWE DIVAS

(sigh....)

(bangs head of table)

(hmm.)

yeah i bet you are wondering why you read that. it is the answer to that age old question: what hurts the most banging your head on the table or watching a wwe women's division match?

well consider how bad the womens division has become in wwe, i would take blood force trauma to giggling bimbos botching simple manoeuvres any day!
okay to avoid confusion while the rest of the sport calls lady-wrestlers just that wrestlers. wwe calls them "divas" why because lady-wrestlers are not what wwe is looking for,no! they need a vague term so people will pay 300 dollars to see a roster of 6 legit wrestlers (phionex, mickie james, gail kim, burchill, melina, nattie) and a harem of models (most of them) dancers (layla el) and playboy models (maria, tiffany and maryse)
natuarlly enough with six women that know what they are doing and 20 odd who dont. could they all be trained to know what they are doing?

wait this is the wwe were talking about
they always fuck things up for the fans!

consider this: barbie blank, victoria crawford and natalylia neidhart all sign to the wwe in 2005 all 3 were models (yes hard to believe when you look at the double N now!)
nataylia is of course the daughter of the legendary tag champ jim the anvil. with wwe signing second generation wrestlers all time, its a bonus if they can wrestle. (i'm talking to you, Cody Rhodes!) but no she was signed to the main roster last year.

Victoria crawford (aka alicia fox) was a bikini model so she was hired on her looks but has a black belt in capaoira so she can handle herself when it comes to the striking ascept but trails behind on the wrestling fundementals. she was officially called up two years ago.

barbie blank (what an ironic name for a blonde if it wasn't her real name!) was modeling for the same catalogue as alicia. she was renamed Kelly Kelly.when she was told that wwe was paying GOOD MONEY FOR HOT PIECES OF ASS! she was signed to main roster with NO TRAINING! on her first day of wrestling training she TRIPPED on the ring ropes as she was entering the ring naturally she is still being sent down every month to train. so why is she still on the main roster?
i'd imagine in Vinces office somone stumbled on a smiling vince shouting "DAHMMIT DONT YOU EVER KNOCK???" as kelly rise from behind the desk, wipes her mouth and asks "Did i get the job?"

time for a new series of rants called why tna is the future of wrestling

WHY WWE SUCKS TODAY! PART 3

part 3 the roster

all i keep hearing on wwe blogs and message-boards is(read in whiney voice) wwe sucks because the are no good wrestlers on the roster!"

to those idiots i say:

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

All the good wrestlers are not in the main event they are in the midcard, and low card or being used as jobbers so rather than being in the main event so rather talk about them all lets do a top 11 under used wrestlers in wwe. why 11 cause i like doug walker.
11 william regal.
with 20+ years in the sport regal should have been world champion but his skint as commissioner has stop him from being the champ.
10 paul burchill
one gimmick that would have fans talking is the aborted incest gimmick between him and his "sister" katie lea (they are in fact married!) im not promoting incest at all im just saying that the heat(thats ring talk for negative reaction ) would have being huge but vince went pg and now the burchills are dying on ecw.
9 kofi kingston
the jamacian (really Ghanan) sensation was screwed over this february when edge attack him and took his place in the chamber. while we knew that he wouldnt have won anyway,wouldnt it be great to see a cruiser weight flying around the cage?
8 every cruiserweight in wwe not named rey mysterio
there need to a cruiser weight title again the smaller have no pride anymore and tna used them so well
7 hornswoggle
hornswoggle is wrestling's Marmite. half loves him half hates him. i love the little leprechaun! due to the fact that midget wrestling has been around since wrestling itself
6 zack ryder
woo woo wooo! you know it felt weird saying that in my head. but now there are woo woo woo caps and shirts on shopzone. and they selling fast! i dont know why ryder sucks in the ring but he sure has a following
5 shelton benjamin.
WHY OH WHY is this man not worlds champion oh yeah i forgot BECAUSE HHH IS FUCKING THE BOSS' DAUGHTER
THATS WHY!
4 charlie haas
see number 5
3 matt hardy
matt hardy is just a victim of the machine. everything matt has done will always be outdone by his druggie brother for that when jeff does leave and spends his days baking special brownies, you know matt will be wwe champion. until edge gets him fired again. ass hole!
2 finlay
all ireland champion british lightweight champion united states champion 30 years veteran undefeated in 9 countries. why cant vince add wwe champion to that list
1 evan bourne
sure hes riding high now but wait til he jobs to big useless heap like mizark henry or the big slow

next time i will talk about the on thing that has set women's sport back by 100 years:
the wwe divas

why wwe sucks today part 2

part 2 john cena

today i'm going to talk about wwes golden boy john cena.

and considering that cena is one of the worst wrestlers of all time special precautions have being taken so i dont KILL Myself!
for instince all sharp object have been removed, i dont have any shoelaces in case i hang my self. its just me this computer and a bottle of water.

but they didnt count on my tic-tac box full of cyanide pills!
so lets se why this man is consider a bad wrestler.

one thing is that he is the figure-head for the change in fans. every arena now has nothing but little brats in the audience now. i used to follow wrestling in the attitude era and original ecw years. and the fans are rowdy bastards with chants that would give the air a blue streak. but now the secury are now order to throw out fans that are vocal about hating cena or anyone so instead of hearing

YOU GOING TO GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD KICKED IN! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!
or
FUCK HIM UP TAZ! FUCK HIM UP CLAP CLAP

ITS NOW
MAMMY, MAMMY, I WANT A JOHN CENA SHIRT MAMMY! I WANT TO BE IN THE CHAIN GANG!

if that is not the gayest sounding thing i dont know what is! the chain gang! he,s supposed to be this gangsta rapper but he looks like Vanilla ice's Bitch.
thats right!
BITCH!!
he thinks he is getting the crowd pumped for the match by pumping up his shoes.

when the Sandman walked through the crowd to Enter sandman the crowd cheered
when the Rock cut people down in promos and made us laugh(to the point of quoting them!) the crowd cheered
when austin flipped of macmahon and stunned him.the crowd cheered
cena pumping his nike airs the crowd apart for the kiddies couldnt care less
now all the gimmicks are now kid friendly. all the matches are shortened and gimmicks are taking place of ability and toughness. its the 80s all over again

next time i will that about the entire roster

want more sky channels? OF COURSE YOU DO!!!!

THESE ARE THE CODES THAT SKY IRELAND DO NT WANT YOU TO KNOW!
To get these codes press your services button and press 4 twice you will be on a screen called ADD CHANNELS
there are 4 panels in the first with your remotes key pad log in the code in panel 2 toggle between H or v these are the two satellites
the third is signal strength 22.o or27.50
finally the frequency: 1/2, 3/4 4/5, 5/6, 7/8

ok now you know how heres you codes

10788 h 22.0 5/6
contains:bbc 1 london bbc 2 england cbbc cbeebies bbc3 bbc4 bbc n1 five

10.758 v 22.0 5/6
contains: itv1 london itv2 citv itv4 granada Anglia east and central west

10.832 h 22.0 5/6
central east central south itv4+1 wales itv1 west itv border

10.891 h 22.0 5/6
itv tt north, meridian south, anglia south yorkshire west itv2+1

10.906 v 22.0 5/6
stv, utv, channel islands, talksport itv3 itv3 +1

bbc frequencies
10.788 v 22.0 5/6
bbc1 west midlands,north west, yorkshire and linconshire,yorkshire, east midlands, east(east)

10803 h 22.0 5/6
bbc 1 wales bbc2 wales bbc1 scotland bbc 2 scotland bbc 1 ni bbc radio 5 live extra

10818 v 22.0 5/6
bbc1 west, south west, south, south east, cumbria,oxford

10.847 v 22.0 5/6
bbc cambridge (aka east-west) channel islands, bbc hd(hd box only-DUH!)

11.954 H 27.5 2/3
BBC news, parliment, alba, radio one,radio two, radio 3,radio 4 fm 4 lw, radio scotland wales, cymru, 1 extra, 6 music,7 rna g, london, ulster, Asian, world service.

DISCLAIMER:
Now your sky box can only hold 50 of these channels stored in OTHER CHANNELS so you have to choose between radio,itvs and bbcs. its trail by error and what preference of music and programmes will help you choose. choose stv as it show films instead of fa cup matches if you dont like football.

why the wwe sucks today! part one

Word on all the wrestling forums is that RAW this week was the worst in history. in cause you've been living under a rock since last month raw hasnt a fixed general manager. but a celebrity host Who just happen to have been shown on camera at live events. this week its host is the guy from entourage
you know entourage every week rte hype it up because There rte and everything that rte hype is CRAP and the show people like are making money for sky.

but i haven't seen raw yet

now I'm going to tell you readers why wwe is dying on its ass

1. Vince McMahon

its ironic that i put him on this list the man who change the sport is the man who may kill it.

see that word i used there sport and not entertainment that's because wrestling is should still be viewed as a sport. a sport like soccer where its stars are payed generously. but a bit too generously even the jobbers (wrestlers payed to lose) are payed to much. in the awa, backstage if you could tell who was a top guy and who wasn't.

if a guy was wearing a suit, Rolex and carrying a Harburtion briefcase he was a champ or at least a main eventer if he wasn't, he wasn't, and now you have wrestlers thinking that if you get injured and get payed more guaranteed money just like a certain bleech blonde piece of shit from Green Bay.

also Vince is a real hit with the ladies. or so he thinks but almost every diva who came through Vinny's office has took vinces as he says "Grapefruits" of course this may be the reason why Taryn "Tiffany" Terrell is ECW Genaral Manager without so much as ever winning a match.

and when vince does head to that big sports arena in the sky, who will be the chairperson?

Stephanie McMahon and Triple h

Stephanie cannot book a match that doesnt involve her husband to save her live in fact if steph does take over it would set wrestling back 50 years. if shane gets its though this would great as shane bought wcw under his fathers nose and competed until the end while Steph bought ecw and ran its into the ground.

next time i will shed light on what many think is the biggest waste of tv time on wwe...no other that john FUCKING Cena!

Night of champions results

26/7/09
Philadelphia, P.A.
SOLD OUT!

Legacy vs Chris Jericho and MYSTERY PARTNER
Jericho steals the mic of Lilian Garcia who gives him a look like "fuck this! I'm glad I'm leaving to work on my second album!" Jericho cuts a promo on edge, who got injured. he could be out for a whole year. but the mystery partner is big show who has a new look a Taz-like singlet and a Taz beard. he starts up with Cody Rhodes,who i sweare is one of the strangler monsters from Parasite Eve 2. this match has a stipulation this is a no holds USED match. as jericho flies to the outside rhodes does all his moves. are you ready?
punch
punch
kick
kick
punch
punch
kick
kick
THROW A FUCKING SUPLEX, RHODES!!!!
MY GOD!
well after that technical display (!) people are chanting for Jericho he tags show and thankfully the Colossal Clutch flushes this crap!
winners: jeri-show
**/5
if Legacy are the future of wwe then our future is fucked!

backstage cm punk cuts an interview making fun of the fans stating that Jeff Hardy fans are future druggies. he names all kind of thing that will lead to by supporting hardy. when punk mentions marijuana
there is a MARI-JUANA! (CLAP-CLAP-CLAPPY-CLAP!) chant that was funny!

ecw championship
TOMMY THE HUT(YES I LIKE STAR WARS SO WHAT!) VS Christian
big pop for dreamer but a bigger pop for christian. i wasn't expecting that!
two bitch slaps start this match. Christian tries Corner Pendulum kick but gets countered into neck-breacker ecw chants in the home of ecw E-C-DUB E-C-DUB E-C-DUB! FIGHTS ON OUTSIDE. Striker says that tommy had a barbeque with 200 of his fans are you sure that fat load wasn't eating all that food until fans showed up? crowd claps along to christian. tommy counters Killswitch into DDT Back into Killswitch ENGAGE!
winner and new ECW Champion...Christian
both the new and former champions bro-hug as the crowd cheers loudy! Great match! ****/5
Backstage big show says him and Jericho are not friends. Is'nt that what split up Jericho and Edge in the first place?

United state championship six pack challenge
Swagger vs Carlito vs Miz vs PRIMO? vs Mvp vs Kingston(c)
Primo is replacing Big show in this match i heard a good put down in the intro of this match

"They gave him the keys to the city. the next day they changed the locks!
this match is so quick i cant type the action fast enough. Miz works Kofi in the corner one thing that bugs me. why does that gobshite does a turn-table gesture? yes i know he was on a Mtv program BUT SINCE WHEN HAVE MTV SHOWN MUSIC?
any way the always exciting Tower of power-plex is pulled off. Kofi retains by pinning carlito.
winner:Kofi Kingston ****/5
Backstage:Orton bitches about big show very slowly

Womens championSHIT match
MicHHHelle McNotCool vs Melina
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh yeah er...
Winner:mccool 0/5

wwe CHAMPIONSHIP
John FUCKING Cena vs HHH vs Randy orton(c)
Reason 86 why i hate cena: he calls himself the champ when he is'nt thats likw J.K Rowling calling her first book Harry potter:DONT WORRY THERE'S GOING TO BE A SHIT LOAD OF SEQUELS! IT GIVES THE PEOPLE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!
any way formal intros Cena booed hhh cheered orton booed. Orton leaves the ring to make cena and hhh fight each other.
it doesn't work.
anyway this match we've seen this match all year so i'll just skip to the end
HHH puts orton in a Sharpshooter while at the same time cena locks on the STFU (That's SUBMISSION THATS FUCKING USELESS)
Orton taps
Winner er.... wait legacy come down to help their chief man-bitch and Orton pins Cena
winner....Orton
5/5 stars because Cena didnt win.

Maryse Ouellet vs Mickie James
Toy womens belt
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i was asleep sorry winner James
Intercontinental Championship
Dolph ziggler vs Rey mysterio
Ziggler comes out with Maria Kannelis. is that Bimbo a heel now whatever she sits on a chair at ringside. i hope that chair isn't used as a weapon(!) Jim ross said that Dolph hold his colleges record for most pins 87 thats very impressive. this match is very quick and very exciting!
Ziggler has thrown rey to the side where Maria is sitting. now we know how this goes, the manager attacks the opponent. Ok Maria, hit him. HIT HIM!
or stand there looking pretty. Or as pretty as a MOUTHBREATHING BIMBO COVERED IN SLAP COULD LOOK I MEAN A WRESTLING CLICHE AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN DO IT!
of course in recent months all we hear about maria is that she has her new clothing range which she is wearing.
CLOTHES BY MARIA.
TAN AND HAIR BY TANGO!
and she has a feather in her WTF ISTHAT? is she a greek american indian whats her Indian name? Dancing With Strippers?
okay back with wrestling Dolph hits a cool gutbuster from the second rope but rey counters into 619.
winner rey
worlds championship
C.m. punk vs Jeff hardy
Only in wrestling you could hear BOOS for an anti-drug campaigner and cheers for a man whos house burned around him!
okay i'm out of time
Winner:hardy

night of champions Update!

The Real women's belt will be on the line

here is the match!

MicHHHelle McCool Vs Melina Perez-BEST OF INFINITY SERIES!

Really?

that's the best you could up with Vince?

A REMATCH?
THESE TWO HAVE BEING FIGHTING BACK AND FORWARD FOR A YEAR NOW I KNOW ITS ONLY THE WOMEN'S BELT! BUT PLEASE! A LITTLE VARIETY FOR NEXT MONTH?

THERE ARE 2 WORDS I WANT TO SAY THAT WILL MAKE THIS MATCH BETTER

Natalya Neidhart
SHE DIDN'T BULK UP TO HER DADS FIGHTING BODY FOR NOTHING! BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION LIKE CHOCOLATE COVER RASHERS(THAT BACON FOR YOU AMERICAN READING THIS)
OR I could even go as far as 3 words
Katie. Lea. Burchill.
This time last year she was challenging for the belt and now. she is in ECW. WITH HAS NO WOMEN'S TITLE BELT CONTENTION
Or i could even go as far as 4 words.
Hell. in. a. Cell.
A stipulation match is a great way to end a feud that goes on forever. granted Vince thinks that the stips for a women's match should always be beloved bikini match, or the brutal Item on a pole match or the vicious and should be banned MUD MATCH!

Riveting(!)
it should be the undertakers Hell in a cell why

Because allegedly she is knocking boots with undertaker!
WHO IS HAPPILY MARRIED WITH 3 YOUNG KIDS!
But if the rumours are true then MicHHHelle will have more backstage than HHHimself

still i will have the result for you hopefully monday.

keep on keeping on,
Eamonn.

NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS PREVIEW!

This Sunday is the one night that every title is on the line. this is a preview of night of champions. (all matches are written in title importance)

WWE championship thriple threat match:
Triple H vs randy orton(c) vs john HANDRARED BY VINCE Cena.
prediction: hhh

World heavyweight championship:
C.M. Punk vs Jeff hardy
MONEY ON: punk, so he can face morrision at summerslam, and tear down the fucking place!

ecw championship:
tommy dreamer vs "captain charisma" Christian cage
money on:dreamer because event is in Philadelphia where ECW was born!
Wishful thinking:Rowdy original ecw fans in audience. E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!

intercontinental championship
Rey mysterio vs Dolph ziggler
Money on: too close to call, but this will be good!

Six pack challenge for the U.S. CHAMPIONSHIP:
Kofi kingston (c) vs big show vs carlito vs mvp vs jack swagger vs THAT GUY FROM MTV!
Money on:mvp

Unified tag team championships:
priceless/legacy(Cody rhodes and Ted DiBiasie, jr) vs chris jericho and MYSTERY PARTNER!
here are my predictions for mystery partner!

1) Ziggler loses earlier but still leaves a champion
2) remember that Brian kendrick had a storyline that he was scouting for a partner to take the belts? do yo think creative remembers?
3) its orton the boss to Legacy, just to mess with our heads!

Real women's belt
a match has not being signed as of 3 DAYS before the event but this is my prediction of the match

micHHHelle McCool vs TALENTLESS NON-WRESTLING SKANK!
Money on:Mccool cause her dad is on the board of directors!

Toy women's belt: Mickie james vs Maryse Oullet
Money on: james

send me your comments please!

WELCOME TO THE MINDFUCK PART TWO

chapter 2
THE SWORD THAT FAINTS IN THE SIGHT OF BLOOD

i woke up in a dirty dungeon my hands in shackles.
next to me a man in a sleeveless sweeter and a knotted hankie over his head

wotz yer name
Eamonn
mines GUMBIE
who put me here?
the spanish inquistion did, so they did. they rules the kingdom of mindfuck , they do i can get you out wif magic!
anything!
and he said some magic words
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
we were now walking in a forest where the trees were toothbrushes. gumby was explaining the history of Mindfuck!
long time ago a war raged that rages to this very day! the gangs of keep left signs banded together to tried to control the rage of the killer cars. at first the Cardinal el Bastardo Rameriz tried to spread peace but it turned out he was selling weapons to both sides. engines for speed, all terrian tyres. bigger keep left signs.....for keeping left!
and now the world is falling apart.
but i can get you some supplies at the market then i can bring you to the temple of martial arts.

so i bought some supplies

• tins of spam
• parrot sarnies
• a climbing rope
• a tent
• a "go home you bastards!" shield
• and a sword. a special sword. it talks

it convince me to buy it. but after fighting a man with a pieces of fresh fruit. sword fainted. the blade flopped downwards like it was made of rubber.

luclily gimbie bailed me out with his pointed stick!

Look of course i lied said Sword."do yo even know who long i've been at that marketplace? i'm not even a sword anyway, i'm an accountant an accountant who wanted to be a lointamer but i was eating by a lon and turned into a sword. but if could go to plothole i could turn back.

Our heroes venture towards the Great mountains. to the temple of martial arts to learn to learn the deadly arts of kendo, deja-fu, and the deadliest one of all joke telling. discover a dadly birthright in part 3

THE CRYPT OF THE LONG LOST JOKE!!!

WELCOME TO THE MINDFUCK! PART ONE

*DISCLAIMER*
THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FICTION THIS IS AN ORIGINAL STORY/HOMAGE TO MONTY PYTHON. NO CULCHIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY.

in a packet of crisps was a competition to find the golden pouch. inside the message

CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU HAVE WON A CHEST OF DRAWERS!
A CHEST OF DRAWERS! WHERES MY FUCKING MONEY?

that night i went home and inside was my chest i won. now understand this i never sent away prize ticket so how did this chest get here.

naturally i opened a drawer to look inside and was drawn inside a wormhole!
as i hurdled towards the abyss i only had one thought on my mind.
will the place i land in have a toilet? because this expierence has scared the crap out of me!

part two:A strange world run by the spanish inquistion, and a on going between the killer cars and Gangs of Keep Left signs! As well as a market place were i buy weapons and supplies to travel towards the giant PLOT-HOLE TO return to the real world! the mindfuck continues in

THE SWORD THAT FAINTS IN THE SIGHT OF BLOOD!

python final countdown

4 The pearl harbour recreation society
Premise: a group of house wifes beat each other with there handbags

3. the Lumberjack song

im a lumberjack
and thats ok!
i sleep all night and i work all day!

a chorus line repeats line in the 2nd person

i cut down trees
i eat my lunch
i go to the lavotry
on wednesday i go shopping
and have buttered scones for tea.

chorus repeats line in 2nd person

hes a lumberjack and hes ok
he sleeps all night and he works all day

i cut down trees
i skip and jump
i like to press wild flowers
i put on womens clothing
and hang around in bars!

chorus line repeats line in 2nd person but looks at each other worryingly when they sing "he puts on womens clothing and hang around in bars?"

hes a lumberjack and hes ok
he sleeps all night and he works all day

i cut down trees
i wear high heels
suspenders and a bra!
i wish i was born a girlie!
just like my dear mama!

chorus line sing have way through before they leave giving abuse to the lumberjack

2 Nudge nudge wink wink
Premise: a streetwise jack-the-lad type annoys a posh man about his wife
so are you married
yes i am
does your wife...er....go does she go?
yes she does travel she's from torquay
torquay eh say no more say no more down south eh nudge nudge wink wink! say no more! well now does she have any hobbies?
what on earth do you mean?
is she into.....photography? holiday pictures?
posh man(angrily) WHAT I YOU TRYING TO IMPLY
Jack: i'm not saying anything i just want to know if you and your wife
WHAT???
had sex
yes!
and whats it like?

and the number 1 monty python moment is was there ever any doubt?

THE DEAD PARROT!

cleese: yes i have a complaint
Palin: and whats the problem?
i bought a parrot an hour ago and look at him
oh is he asleep?
hes not asleep he's dead!!
(Palin pushes the cage) look he moved
he did not!
look he is asleep!
with his eyes open!
when i sold you that parrot he was on that perch!
yes about that! On closer inspection i saw his feet were nailed to said perch
he's asleep!
he is not asleep look(cleese bangs parrot on counter and shouts in its ear)HELLO POLLY PARROT!!! see its dead
Now it is
look its being dead for hours its bit the big one, its played his last card, it shuffled of it's mortal coil and joined the choir invisible. it's an ex-parrot!

Palin: fancy a pint?
Cleese: thought you'd never ask....

join me for more python fun this month

monty python 9-5

at 9 THE KILAMANJARO EXPEDITION

PREMISE: a mountaineer is applying for a job for the eccentric sir bernard grape, who has double vision

mountaineer: and tell me who else is om my team?

Grape: oh, myself the two of you and brothers called johnson

mountaineer: Twins(!)
Grape: no Quads!

8. the dirty knife.

PREMISE: A proud waiter, maitre de and chef all commit suicide at the table of Palin who complained over a dirty knife
The punchline: a good thing i didnt say anything about the dirty fork!

7. SELF DEFENCE AGAINST FRESH FRUIT
PREMISE: clesse is a drill sergeant who has a vendetta/fear of people with fruit so he holds classes.
now today we are going to defend against fresh fruit
class lets off a sigh
Sergeant: whats the matter?
we've done fruit sir
IDLE: cant we do pointed sticks?
oh mister high and mighty wants to do pointed sticks well dont come crying to me when you are attacked by a loganberry looney!

now the banana if someone attacks you with a banana first you disarm the banana, then you eat the banana you mister apricot
HARRISON!
What ever attack me with that banana and be vicious about it!

(Harrison lunges at the sergeant screaming and is then shot by the sergeant dead)
now you eat the banana!
you killed him!
of course he had a banana! now mister passionfruit
PETERSON!
ok peterson, have a banana i will show you how to arm your self without a gun
idle: with a pointed stick!
shutup!
(peterson attacks the sargent and is crushed by a 16 ton-weight)

now the smartman have a banana
no i dont want to die
i wont kill you
no guns
no
no weights
no
ok fine
(idle attacks the sergeant who pulls on a lever. idle is chased off stage by a tiger)
how do you like my tiger, eh what? better than a pointed stick!

6. crunchy frog
PREMISE: two policemen are called to a confectioner's shop to stop the production of some peculiar sweets.
crunchy frog its the bones that them crunchy!

5. the Hungarian phrase book
PREMISE: a Hungarian to English phrasebook causes outrage
shopkeeper how can i help you
hungarian: my record has a scrath
this is a tobacconist
oh! my tobbacco has a scrath!
no do you want to buy some tobacco?
(reads from book) do you want to come back to my place
what?
i want to take of your trousers!
(the tourist is arrested but the real culpit is the author of the book mr TEAPOT)
lawyer: i will now read from the book the hungarian pharse where is the train station transalates into the enligsh "please fondle my buttocks"
more coming up soon!

Monty python month begins now !

due to time issues, my post of the top ten moments will be a part-work so in any road, ITS!!!!

THE TOP TEN GREATEST MONTY PYTHON MOMENTS EVER

NUMBER 10. THE FOUR YORKSHIRE MEN!

PREMISE:4 sucessful men now living in south africa talk about there hard up-bringing however they end up trying to out do each other in there stories.

the joke:

1st man: if any one was so to tell us that we would be drinking cognac i would said you were joking in my day all i got for a schilling was a cup of tea!

2nd man: yeah a cup of cold tea!
3rd man: you were lucky to get a full cup i got a half cup of cold tea!
4th man: you were lucky to get a cup! i could only get a crumbled up newspaper full of tea!

well i was living in a house with hot water
you were lucky to have a house! we was living in a flat with 3 families and no hot water!
you were lucky to have a flat! we was living a corridor with half a floor and half a ceiling so you'll either die by falling down in the hole or got wet
you were lucky to have a corridor. we were living in shoebox with 100 people!

im my first job i was 10 years old working as a miner
you were lucky to be a miner, i was 10 months old when i was throwing dynamite!
you were lucky to be throwing dynamite! i was 10 weeks old and pushing carts!
you were lucky to be pushing carts! i was 10 days old and was a pit pony!

but if you told young people that they would not believe you!
stay turned for more great gags

michael jackson 1958-2009

i was up watching the end of ecw on sky sports 3
a terrible thunderstorm was staring up illuminating my dark hallway with every flash so i turned in sky news for the weather.

but i never got it.

because Michael jackson has died.

Despite his recent years and the fact i crictised him for being "innocent" of his crimes.

Jackson was a true pioneer in dance in music in video in lyrics

movies and pepsi ads not so much
but still michael is a pure legend and his musical legacy has absolved his controversy

next month
PYTHON MONTH as scheduled.

and now for something complety different!!!

hey kids!
its almost July!
you know what that means!
probably not since i'm making it up!

its MONTY PYTHON MONTH!

on my first post and every post next month i will be posting in the genius style of messers jones gilliam cleese palin terry and chapman

so here is my schedule

week 1: top 10 monty jokes
week 2 : songs
week 3 : tribute post
week 4: an original story with monty python elements and pathofenlightment elements

please fondle my buttocks!
the bus station? over there!

to those who want to know who i am

this is my blog that hopefully will give me a cult following

I am Eamonn bermingham, 24, unemployed receptionist.

but on blogger i am a persona i created I AM.......

Like the Devil known by many names.

• the Wizard of Wit,
• The Guru of Girth
• The Barron of Badness
• the Shaman of Swagger
• the Working class hero,
• the biggest MOTHERFUCKER ON THE WEB TODAY
• THE PATH OF ENLIGHTENMENT, EAMONN ......FUCKING .... BERMINGHAM!

AND THIS IS THE ENLIGHTED PAGE MY INNER SACTUM WHERE I DISPENSE ADVICE AND BANTER WITH EQUAL MEASURE WITH RANTS AND LOUIS WALSH IS GAY JOKES

so welcome to those who have stumbled to this page you are in for a treat of humour, stories and such in my unique style.

Eamonn bermingham

ps rte this is what you need to be a successful rte 3 program but you old fossil wouldnt know a good program even if you CANCEL IT EVERY MONTH FOR FUCKING FORIEGN FUCKING FOOTBALL WITH NO FUCKING IRISH PLAYERS!!!!!!!

€180 FOR A TV LICIENCE MY ASS!!!!!!

VINCE MCMAHON IS AN IDIOT! (RE: UMAGA RELEASED)

with competion and cost cuts in the wwe, some wrestlers are joining the dole line like the rest of us some are obvious choices. wwe dont give a crap about cruiserweights so they are dropping like flies, jobbers are useless to a company that barely uses them and to be fair the pg rated era doesnt need any more dancers bikini models or "actresses". they need WOMEN WRESTLERS in the WOMEN WRESTLING division but surely they would not release a main eventer coming off a match that was one of the best this yea...

UMAGA HAS BEEN RELESED OF HIS SMACKDOWN CONTRACT. WE WISH EDWARD (UMAGA) FATU THE BEST IN HIS FUTURE ENDEVOURS

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

now for my advice.

Umaga go to TNA. in fact a tag team with Samoa Joe as the Nation of Violence would be unstoppable
in fact it would be the absolute tonic for being fired by that gobshite after that great strap match !

one bit of advice though lose the Samoan spike finisher. make it trademark at least but use that Black hole slam as your finish or your splash as your finish instead.

and to make sure your adhere to the florida fans use the promo skills that vince denied you to use. I bet you cut a good promo, your the Rocks cousin for christ's sake!

good luck and i'll give you my (TAPED) thumbs up!

things mr kennedy could do with his hands!

this a blog of two faces.

1. this is a comedy blog of my opinions and of the best kind of banter. Witty.
2. this is a wrestling blog as wrestling can be funny and filled with the best kind of wrestling banter. Smarky.

so now two tastes that taste good together.

wrestling rants and my home-made mock the week scenes we like to see. i give you....

Mock The WWEek!

today's subject is the video that Kennedy posted after being fired by wwe because his skeleton is as fragile as FUCKING balsa. he doesn't know what to with his hands i have a few suggestions

• sell microphones
• do an interview that every washed-up wrestler does and say Macmahon GAVE YOU the steroids so you get suspended when you got caught.
• make cheese you are from Wisconsion
• make a voodoo doll of vince!
• juggle but wait you already juggled your suppossed "rehab" and "Healing" time to make Behind in the box office ratings......i mean enemy lines
• and finally learn first aid that way when tna does hire you to a $2 million dollar contract you dont piss that making a straight to dvd film......for universal studios!